Avery P. O. V
I can’t believe they left me. I don’t know why I feel this whole inside my chest where my heart is. I am feeling pain. So, I cutch to my chest and I can feel my heart beating.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Oh God, it’s hurt. I wanted to cry out, but I can’t I felt the numbness in my body, and I can’t move. I want to follow them and tell them not to leave me. But instead, I do nothing but watch them walk out my door and walk out of my life. I am wishing to tell them No, stop. Please don’t go! But I don’t. Because I am a coward.
I am a fucking coward!
I sigh waiting for them to at least look back at me.
Please, I am so sorry.
Look back.
I want you to stay.
Please don’t leave me.
I was imagining they would stay here with me. Us laying on the couch watching movies again laughing and them touching and holding me and being around me. Even though I don’t like horror movies. If I must watch the rest of my life I will be with them. I take any day of the week for them to stay with me if I had to.
When I was angering with myself. I didn’t see them look back. I don’t know if I was thinking about it or not. But when I looked, I didn’t see their face. All I saw was their back and they kept walking away from my room.
My house.
Myself.
And My life.
I can feel my heart stop and it shattered inside when I didn’t see them turn back and stay with me. I saw all my four horsemen walk out of my door and out of my life. They disappeared around the corner. They were gone.
Stop!
Don’t Go!
Please stay with me!
I wanted to scream at them and tell them to stop and not leave me alone. I love yo- I almost finished the three little words someone tells someone they have feelings for.
Oh, God, can it be I am in love with all four of them. I still don’t know what to do about Duke Conaway guy I only know in my dreams. This was the first time I had seen him face to face. What is wrong with me, I should be helping them finally, leaving me alone like I always wanted. But why does it feel painful and empty right now? Its loneliness. I feel death coming at my doors that is how the pain hits me. I gasp, I shouldn’t have told them I was okay, and they didn’t have to be here alone for me. I should have told them I love them, and I wanted them to stay with me forever, but I didn’t. I told them a lie. Now I missed up.
I missed up bad.
I felt my chest with my hand. It feels like someone is squeezing my heart into pieces and I am dead. I had a nervous and worried look on my face.
What if they don’t come back?
What if I never see them again outside of school?
What if they hate me all over again?
What if they start treating me like they did before I was their mate?
And what if they regret me and find another she wolfs or whatever is their second-time mate?
I drop to my knees, and I cry in my hands.
I cry. No not crying but bawling my eyes out. My heart calls for them and I had to lie and drive them away from what we could have. I am so stupid, what was I thinking. I love them.
I love. Them.
I love Elijah Woods for his arrogant ways and his charming smile.
I love Jake Stone for his shyness mystery and secretly bad boy.
I love Andrew Bradford for his possessive ass and wit.
I love Matthew Steele for his sense of humor and the sweet boy.
Oh no, I can’t breathe.
I didn’t mean to run them off.
I am having to shake so much.
I start to pound on the floor.
“I am such fucking bitch and a stupid one,” I told myself.
“No, you’re not I heard my wolf and veela say in the back of my head.
Well, at least they’re not angry at me and on my side. That is what I thought when I heard them yelling at me in the back of my mind. After they told me off. They cut ties with me until I don’t know how long.
I sigh with a hint of sadness. Well, I deserve that. I thought to myself. So, I let it all go. I screamed out my pain of being left alone with no mate to hold me and love me. I just lost it. I’ll never get a chance like this again. Why can’t I see they wanted me? Why couldn’t I just open my mouth and told them I have feelings for them? But, no I had to listen to our past and our food chain in the school. They’re the popular jocks and everyone guys want to be them, and every girl wants to be with the Four Horsemen. And hears me, I am the ugly, bookworm wallflower that every one like to use me for a punching bag and used for homework. Why did I have listened to others about us can’t be together? I should have not caring what people think.
I sniffed the air, seeing if I can smell them like I always did when they would come near me. But I didn’t smell or see them. They are gone.
They left me.
I thought they loved me.
Now, I pushed them away.
What in the hell is wrong with me?
I am so sorry guys” I said in a broken voice. That was when I cried.
I cry with love.
And cried with hurt.
And cried forgive.
I finally forgive them!
But then I thought.
Oh, no but it’s too late.
No, it’s not too late.
I still have a chance.
I need to go after them. Before I was going to get off the floor and follow them.
I felt a buzz in my pocket of my jeans lying right by my feet.
I gran my jeans and I took my hand inside the pocket, and I felt around for my phone. That was when I grabbed it out. I saw how texted me.
My face drops and the blood I had in my face with to my feet.
Why is Emilia texting me?
Emilia “I am so sorry for everything.
Emilia Really, I am. I am so sorry Ave; you were my best friend.
I don’t know why I did the things to you.
I hurt and made your life a living hell. For that I am sorry.
The truth is I was jealous of you. I envy you, Avery! I wanted to be like you.
Yes, shut up there and stop thinking awful things about yourself.
No, you were never ugly and a loser. So, get that thought out of your head.
I have not heard her say that for a long time. Yes, it’s true I still have her number on my old phone. I need a new one. I wonder if my parents going to buy me one.
So, I wrote her back.
Avery- So why now?
Emilia- Because Ave, I don’t want to pretend everything is okay because it’s not.
I wanted to climb inside the phone, grab her, and wring her neck but at the same time I wanted to hug her and tell her it’s going to be okay, and I forgive her.
Avery -Okay I am listening. I tell her with a short answer.
Emilia Last year I was…
I was waiting for her to finish the words. But she didn’t text something else.
Avery -Last year what Emilia?
Emilia- It doesn’t matter. So, that is not why I am getting hold of you.
Emilia- You need to know about something.
I am getting scared. What she means I need to know something.
Okay, I didn’t know how to tell you, but I am going to show you.
What does she mean to show me?
That was when I saw the attached photo on my phone.
And why is she sending me a picture?
When I do open up the download photo? I looked and my heart dropped. I wanted to crawl in a hole. What I saw made me sick to my stomach and I felt my heartbreaking.
Because what I saw was something I should have known.
There I see is Elijah, Jake, Matthew, Andrew at a party making out with Emilia bitches, Amelia, Madison, Camelia, Jayla.
It’s my fault. I drove them to this.
I drove them away in the arms of the other women.
“What have a done” I whispered.
“What have I done,” I repeated over and over with my voice broken.