Embry’s POV
“Nice to meet you” I smiled, now meeting the eyeline of the man. I watched as he stretched his hand out for me to shake, but as he looked at my face his smile faltered.
As if he knew something.
As if he knew me.
“And you Mrs. Hill,” he was quick to compose himself, his smile coming back full force. Shaking off the doubt I previously had, I excused it as grogginess from the flight earlier in the day, giving him a quick shake of my hand.
“Well, I should get going, it was lovely seeing you again Mr. Hill, and you Mrs. Hill, I shall bring fresh bread and fruit to you both in the morning, have a safe night,” he gave a quick nod of his head before grabbing his things and leaving the kitchen.
“He seemed nice” I smiled, helping Noah put the new food in its correct places. “Yeah he is, he used to deliver groceries with his dad when I was a kid and we were on holidays here” he smiled softly, clearly lost in his memories.
“Tell me about it” I encouraged, shutting the cupboard, “your childhood I mean, the parts I wasn’t around for.” Strolling over to the other side of the counter towards him, my arms found themselves snuggly wrapped around him. Letting his scent surround me, I felt safe as he returned the embrace. It felt as though there was nothing else at this moment, just us. There was no pain, no worry, no stress, just us.
“It’s not going to be the happy story you want it to be, baby girl,” he frowned, running his hand up and down my back in a soothing manner. “So then let me love the sad parts of you” I look up at him through my eyelashes, my heart beating steadily in my chest.
“How can I let you love the sad parts of me when the sad parts of you all consist of me?” The sadness in his eyes taunt me, “fresh start remember?” Sighing, he hung his head down, so it was now leaning against my own, “fresh start” he lightly smiled, hooking my pinky with his own.
“I won’t make a promise I know I can’t keep”
I smiled internally as I remembered the words he had uttered on our wedding day, not at what he had uttered, but at what those words meant for us right now. Lifting our hands, I kissed my thumb, watching him do the same in return
I allowed him to take my hand as he led me towards the couch in the greenhouse. Lying my body on top of his, I tilted my head in a way that would allow me to look at him as he spoke. “I guess the only good thing about going here for holidays is that there was no basement for our father to punish us in” he sarcastically laughed at the thought, as my heart pinched painfully within my chest.
“H-how old were you when it stopped?” I muttered, scared of the answer I would get, I watched attentively as his eyes shot down to mine in a pitiful glance. “It didn’t.” I could feel my hold on him get unconsciously tighter, “I mean, it hadn’t but now, now he can’t hurt me again, or you, here we can be together and neither one of us have to be in pain again, okay beautiful?”
“Okay” I tilted my head as he cupped my cheek. “How about I let you call Evelyn, and then we get ready for bed?” Pulling out a phone I hadn’t seen before, he searched up his mother’s number, hitting the call button. Taking the phone in my hand, I sat on my heels at the opposite end of the couch, resting my legs on Noah’s.
I bit my nails anxiously as the phone rang, it had been quite some time since I had last spoken to Evelyn. “Hello” her voice wafted through the speaker of the phone, “hi, it’s Embry” I spoke softly. “Embry dear, oh my gosh, I’ve missed you, how are you? How is Noah?” she rushed out. Chuckling to myself, I hit the speaker button, “wait you’re on speaker, Noah’s here with me” I smiled, as he playfully rolled his eyes at his mother.
“Hi mom” he called out, “Noah dear, how are you? I miss you, are you both safe? You didn’t tell us you were leaving,” I watched in interest as Noah’s jaw clenched. I assumed he hadn’t told them because of his dad, and I respect that. “Yes, we are fine mom, we just needed to get away for a bit” he explained.
“Okay dear, well don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything, Embry dear could you take me off speaker again, I just want to have a girl chat” I watched as Noah shook his head no, signaling me not to. “O-okay” I narrowed my eyes in confusion as Noah mouthed for me to keep her on speaker.
“Embry darling, would you be able to tell me where you are?” She asked secretively, my eyes widened as I saw Noah shoot up in his seat, once again signaling me not to. “Oh, ehm, I’m not really sure Evelyn, I’m sorry” I bounced my leg nervously, feeling nauseous at the thought of lying to Evelyn. But truth be told I really wasn’t too sure where we were.
“That’s okay sweetie, but just be honest with me, you are okay, aren’t you?” Biting my nail at Noah’s hard glare on the phone I scrambled to ease the tension. “Yes, I’m great actually, I’m really happy here with Noah” I mentioned shyly avoiding Noah’s gaze as I said that. “That’s great to hear, I was just a little nervous because I haven’t seen or spoken to you in so long and I worry about you dear, I really do,” my heart melts at her words, as I feel my over sensitive self get teary eyed.
“Indigo has been calling non stop asking about you, she said she hadn’t heard from you since you got back and of course I don’t like to pry but I don’t think Noah is returning any of her calls for you and she seems worried too” my stomach dropped at her words. “To be honest, I don’t get told much Embry, so I’m not quite sure what happened while you were gone, but I can’t imagine it having been anything pleasant and-”
Forgetting any manners I had I interrupted her, “wait, Indigo’s been calling for me?” My eyes fell on Noah, and it was there in his pupils I had all the answers I needed. “Oh yes of course dear, she called to the house the night you returned, looking for you, you didn’t know?”
I watched in slow motion as Noah lunged for the phone, grabbing it from my hand, bidding his mother a quick goodbye.
And so yes I had felt safe in his arms, free from pain, worry, and stress earlier tonight. But something I’ve come to terms with a very long time again is that there is no place on earth where Noah and pain do not coexist with each other. No matter how far we travel. No matter how much my mind tries to tell me otherwise.
“You- you lied” I shot up from my seat, pointing my finger in accusation at him, the tears rolling freely down my cheeks. “You said, Indy hated me and-and-and that-that she” I sunk onto my knees as I held my head in my hand. No. No. No. “Embry, stop, look at me” he knelt down in front of me, prying my hands from my head. Shaking my head back and forth, I tried to force myself from his grip.
“Get off me, get off me” I struggled, “you have spent the last god knows how long convincing me they hated me, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY NIGHTS I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP IN THAT BASEMENT?” I screamed at him. I could tell he was losing patience, but what about me? It was meant to be easier giving into him, I was going to be happy, finally happy.
“What did it matter if you knew or not Embry?” he spit, letting go of me. “IT MATTERS BECAUSE YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I’M LOSING MY MIND NOAH, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK OR WHO TO BE AROUND YOU” I sobbed out angrily at him. “Don’t raise your voice at me” he sternly scolded.
I had been good for him, I had been too good for him and I had pushed all these negative emotions down, and now here they were, all bubbling to the surface at once. “How many times did she call?” My voice came out in a broken waver, “why does it mat-” I cut him off, “How. Many. Times. Did. She. Call?”
“Three or four times everyday” his voice was void of any emotion, I could feel my hands ball by my side as hysterical waves of laughter spilled from me. “You know, her and Dakota were probably the first people to make me feel like a normal human being for the first time in so so so fucking long Noah, do you understand that?”
I shoved my finger into his chest as he tried to talk, “DO YOU FUCKING GET THAT NOAH, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS?” I couldn’t seem to stop this rampage I was on, it felt so freeing, so fucking freeing. “I lost-” clearing my throat I took a deep breath in, “I lost so much because of you, and I got that back when I was with Indigo and Dakota and then you came along and took it all from me again, and then you spent countless moments convincing me how unlovable I was to them, describing in perfect detail how repulsive they find me now.”
“We agreed on a fresh start, Embry, remember?” His tone was cold as he towered over my raging form. “God, that is SO typical of you, I couldn’t quite figure out why you jumped at the idea so quickly, but of course you did, it was your get out of jail free card.”
Scrunching my eyes shut, I could taste the salty tears on my tongue. “WASN’T IT?” He remained silent and still as he stared down at me with a dead look in his eyes. “ANSWER ME YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU.” I screamed, shoving at his chest with every declaration of hatred.
And then there was silence. What really mattered was the sound that came before the silence. The smack. The sound as my body hit the ground. “You murdered somebody Embry, ARE WE JUST FORGETTING THAT?” he retaliated, “you really think they were calling to check up on you?” “No baby, no, no, no, NO. They want you behind bars almost as much as they want me behind them.” The ground was cold as I lay there, holding my shaky hand to my cheek.
“God you make things so fucking hard sometimes, you know that little bug?” He bitterly chuckled as he picked me up from the ground, lifting me to sit beside him on the couch. “You have no idea how terrified I was when I found out you killed somebody, what if something had happened to you, or what that would do to your mind” he hung his head low. I refused to look at him as my tears covered my now bruised and hurting cheek.
“You see the best in people and I see the worst, that’s why we work so well together, if they-” my eyes shot towards him as his voice cracked. I watched as his eyes got teary, “if they took you away from me because you killed a man, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” “I-I didn’t mean to” I muttered sadly, “I didn’t want to kill him” his hand gently stroked the side of my face.
“I know, God, do I know, I can live with the bad things I have done, I’m messed up like that, this fresh start, this was for you Embry, so I could save you from becoming anything like me” he pulled my head against his chest as my sobs rung out throughout the room. “So we can pretend there was no man, there was no gun and there was no blood but how was I to do that without having to make you forget about Indigo and Dakota and Sebastian.”
My headache increased ten fold as I tried to decipher it, it would have been easy to mark this down to him manipulating me, but it made such perfect sense. It sounded real. I didn’t know. I couldn’t figure it out. “All I want to do is look after you Embry, I swear, you gave me this fresh start, I won’t mess it up.”
But what kind of person would I be if I didn’t say he already had.