She gave me a scared look. I held a straight face for a few seconds, then cocked my head and gave her a crazy face and she figured out that I was having her on. She laughed and hit me in the shoulder.
“You’re such a shit, Detective!” she yelled.
When I looked back at the lovers they were all staring at me. I cleared my throat as I pulled out my badge.
“Ah, good morning,” I said. “I’m Detective John Rand with the Los Angeles Police Department. I’m here to interview Thomas Barker in connection with the burglary that took place here yesterday. If I’ve come at, umm, an inopportune time, we could make an appointment for later.”
The older woman said, “Nonsense,” while still sliding up and down Barker’s cock. “You’ve already seen everything there is to see and as long as you’re not offended you’re welcome to stay. I would like to finish though, if you don’t mind.”
“Be my guest,” I said. “I’m not offended: I’m a nudist myself. And I’ve also been known to enjoy sex from time to time.”
She smiled at me. “Nudist, huh? Then take off your clothes, have some champagne, and relax.” I swear, the two blonde women and Esmeralda perked up noticeably and looked at me expectantly.
“I’m on police business, Ma’am,” I said. “I’m going to stay sober and keep my clothes on for now. If I got naked I’m not sure where I’d carry my gun.”
She laughed and then her eyes closed and her body tensed up and she came, quietly uttering little “unnh” sounds. Barker reacted immediately; apparently her pussy had clamped down on him.
“I’m cumming, Mom,” he said.
Mom?
The others looked at me quickly as she said, “Yes Thomas, cum in me! I want to feel it!”
Barker grabbed her thighs and pounded up into her for a few strokes and then groaned out his climax. After a moment she pulled away from him and one of his shots spurted into the air before she could wrap her mouth around his cock and suck the rest of his seed from him. When she was done she pulled back to look him in the eyes, and the older blonde immediately bent over and licked the errant spurt from his abdomen. It finally dawned on me that all five of these women were his. And I thought my life was complicated.
The blonde kissed Barker and whispered something in his ear. “Uh-oh,” he said, and looked at me. I figured she was telling him that he’d called the older woman “Mom.”
“We could get cleaned up and dressed and take this into the living room,” he said.
“Nah, I’m enjoying the view out here,” I said, looking at the women.
“Me too,” said the older blonde woman. “I really wish you’d take your clothes off.”
“Maybe later,” I said. “Right now I need to speak with Mr. Barker.”
“Please call me Thomas,” he said. “Juana, would you mind making enough brunch for all of us?”
The voluptuous olive skinned one smiled and said, “Of course Thomas, it will be my pleasure.” She turned to me. “Is there anything that you cannot eat?”
I started to decline but was stopped by a rumble from the general vicinity of my stomach. “Nope,” I said. “Anything you can make, I will happily eat. I especially like spicy.”
Her eyes lit up. “As do I,” she said. “I believe that I can manufacture something that will please us both.” And off she padded towards the house with her daughter in tow. I watched their naked asses until they were out of view.
The older blonde woman slipped her arms around me from behind. “My name is Nela, Officer,” she said as her hands moved down my chest and abs and then farther down over my pants to play with my cock. It was still hard and my balls were starting to ache a little. I didn’t move her hands away.
“Detective,” I said. My voice was a little hoarse. This place was steeped in sex and some of it was being directed towards me and I was losing it. Dawn and Mary Beth had been gone for almost a week and that was a long goddamned time for a guy who was used to sex every day, usually multiple times a day.
“Detective, sorry,” she said in a low breathy voice as she stroked my erection through my pants. “I hope I can make it up to you somehow.” She kissed my neck and unwrapped her hands from around me and slunk away. I watched her ass, too.
Next, the younger blonde walked around the lounge chairs until she was facing me. I looked her over, from her toes to her long perfect legs to her beautiful bare pussy to her flat little tummy to her lovely firm breasts to her beautiful face. We looked each at each other.
“There’s something,” she said.
“What?”
“There’s something about you,” she said.
I thought Barker tensed a little at that. I tried to fix it. “I’m a lesbian,” I said.
She stared at me. Then smiled. “Oh, so you like women,” she said. Her hand brushed my cheek as she turned and walked away.
Johnny Rand, the great fixer.
I sat on a lounge chair facing Barker and the older woman. I took out my notebook. I always like to start interviews freeform. Sometimes you can get information that way which wouldn’t necessarily come up if the person you were interviewing were only answering structured, narrowly directed questions. So I simply said, “Tell me about the robbery, Mr. Barker.”
“Call me Thomas,” he said, “And this is Natalie.”
“Nice to meet you both.” I said. Thomas proceeded to describe what had happened from his perspective. It boiled down to this:
He got home. His stuff was gone.
The thieves had somehow managed to disable a state-of-the-art home alarm system and then open and empty a safe. The safe was a model I was familiar with and I knew that its involvement was going to make the case much easier to solve. The number of people with the knowledge and skill required to crack it in a manner other than jack hammering it open or blowing it up was extremely small. Although spies and thieves in the movies have no problem opening safes by feel or by putting their ears against the door as they turn the dial, in real life it was just a tad more difficult.
“What was stolen?” I said.
“Code for my latest video game. Some cash. A design for a smart adapter that lets games made for one platform be used on the others.” Pause. “My mother’s jewelry.”
The last part hung in the air. I looked at the older woman sitting next to Barker. She looked back at me for a while, then nodded and held out her hands in “Okay, handcuff me” fashion.
“Yes, I’m his mother, as you already know. And yes, we have sex. Incest. Are you going to take us away?”
I stared at her hard. Out of nowhere tears welled up and rolled out of my eyes and down my cheek.
“I’m having sex with my niece,” I blurted.
Her expression immediately softened.
“I’m in love with her, and she’s in love with me. And we have to hide it from the world.”
“Oh, my dear boy, I’m so sorry,” she said. She moved to my lounge chair and hugged me and I wrapped my arms around her and fought to keep from sobbing. Where in hell had this emo shit come from all of a sudden?
After a while I sniffed and wiped my eyes and said, “Thank you. So anyway, it’s perfectly okay with me that the two of you are in love.”
She pushed back from me and said, “Detective, we certainly love each other but we are not in love. I’m looking for a man closer to my own age, and Thomas is in love with his sister.”
I stared at her, then at him.
“The younger blonde,” he said. “Tina. The one who seems to have the hots for you.”
Shit, this was quickly becoming the most complicated interview I’d ever held. And I still knew next to nothing about the case.