I left Mark’s house with a heavy heart. For the first time that I could remember I was walking away from my brother with a sense that things were not right between us. Well first time since I had been sober, as of course we’d had our share of disagreements in the past but they had generally revolved around my addiction and the actions it caused. Especially that terrible night that triggered the worst…. I instantly pushed that thought away I would not relive that night ever, and neither would Mark although he had come close not more than a half hour ago before I had left.
I felt terrible leaving Mark that way. My brother was heartbroken and probably humiliated as well. There was no doubt that he wouldn’t sleep worth a damn for the next couple of nights, hell that would probably hold true for myself as well, but time apart would be the best thing for both of us right now. Besides if I wasn’t there I couldn’t hurt him again. The only good thing was that he didn’t seem angry anymore. I had been able to help with that anyways; at my own cost however, as I realized my pussy was still sore. Goddamn he had fucked me hard! Even though I know I had made things worse by fucking him, it was better to have Mark feeling a little down compared to ready to start breaking things. Well that was me; always ready to take one for the team.
I turned up the radio in Mark’s Lexus; the $40, 000 Luxury car his firm paid for that he hardly ever drove and pushed all thoughts of last night and this morning’s drama from my mind. Not that I didn’t know that my brother’s offering of his heart hadn’t instantly become the most important thing in my life right now, but I needed time to clear my head. I drove through the still familiar streets of Providence doing a very good job of staring straight ahead, and not playing the “And that’s where this horrible event happened” game.
When I arrived at my old home sweet home mom was waiting for me on the porch like an excited little kid. I have to say for a woman pushing seventy mom moved pretty damn good, as I had barely gotten out of the car when she had reached it to throw her arms up around my neck and give me an enormous hug hello. I felt another of those waves of emotion that I had been prone to lately come over me. This one however was a pleasant one as I realized just how much I had missed my mother.
Mom squeezed me surprisingly hard for a woman who stood five foot even and may have weighed all of 110 pounds. I lowered my head to hers, and gave her a kiss. Mom finally let me go and stood back beaming at me and telling me how wonderful I looked. I smiled and thanked her knowing full well I could look like shit but compared to some of the states mom had seen me in years ago she would take anything as long as I was healthy.
Lunch was wonderful. We talked about everything and nothing as we had appetizers right down to desert and coffee sitting in the restaurant for over two hours. Mom expressed her disappointment about Laura. They had met when I flew mom down for her birthday six months ago and had hit it off well. Then again my mother was one of those people that if you didn’t get along with her there was something wrong with you.
That was the great thing about mom; she didn’t get into things more than she had to. I know she didn’t quite understand why I would be with a woman especially when my last relationship had been with a man and my next could be either. As far as mom was concerned the only thing that mattered was if they could make me happy. Unfortunately the person who could do that or at least do it for more than a few months at a time had not been discovered yet; although the one who could very well be that person had just declared his intentions but there was more involved there than just making me happy. The woman in front of me for instance, what would we tell…
Speaking of mom, she cut into my fog, and asked me what was wrong and don’t bother lying because she could see there was something on my mind. I brushed it off telling her I was still a little down over Laura and was just tired in general having been working nonstop for the last couple of months. Mom warned me to take care of myself, and not get to worn down. I told her not to worry adding to myself that especially over the last few hours my needs had pretty much been the only ones I had seemed concerned with.
As we sat and finished our coffee I found myself filled with a sense of gratitude, that I could still have this with mom. That all those years that I had put her through so much and treated her like a stranger, and that seeing me in such terrible states had never affected her love for me. Laura had been right; remember the good stuff. Mom did. Truth be told, I wish I could talk to her about what was on my mind at the moment, but the subject of my little brother being in love with me and wondering how I felt about it might not go over to well. I was also holding back my news about Walsh wanting to wait until dad was there as well.
After lunch we went shopping where I noticed that Mom seemed to be really watching what she was buying. After a couple of hints I finally came out and asked if they were okay and mom admitted they had been having some trouble making ends meet on dads pension and their social security. Ignoring her protests I loaded up the carriage and paid for everything. I also wrote her a check for $500 and told her I wouldn’t take no for an answer. They had taken care of me for years, adopted me and loved me as their own. I was proud to be in a position to help them. Dad was too proud to ask for or accept help, but mom was to smart not to. I knew for a fact Mark had helped her in the past as well.
Speaking of Mark, that was the next topic of conversation. Granted since he had moved out and especially since the Megan caused arguments between Mark and dad had begun it’s not like Mark was what you would call a dutiful son, but he would keep in touch. A call once a week, and an occasional visit for a cup of coffee. Not a lot but enough to keep mom happy. Now however weeks would go by and mom had to be the one to keep calling.
Mom was very proud of my brother and bragged to her friends constantly about her good looking son the lawyer. A year ago Mark had made New England magazine’s list of eligible bachelors and mom had carried around a copy of the magazine in her purse for weeks. According to her she had no idea what dad and Mark had fought about, just that dad wouldn’t say what it was telling her she was better of never knowing what her “son” and mom said he had stressed “her” son was capable of. For all dads bluster and bullshit my mother was everything to him and for him not to share something with her was big. What the hell had Mark done? I told her I would try to get an answer before I left whether I really could with the other more important situation looming I wasn’t sure, but I owed it to her to make an attempt.
After shopping we returned to mom’s house where we sat on the porch for awhile and reminisced about how things were when Mark and I were teen agers and some of the things we had done. It was hard sometimes to keep a straight face, when mom would keep saying how she had always loved how close Mark and I were. Tell me what a good big sister I was to him when he came to live with us, how I took good care of him. I had to agree that many were the nights that I had taken very good care of my little brother.
Despite the Mark situation I had to say I was having a pretty good day. That changed for a bit when dad finally came home. By then mom and I had gone in and were having a cup of tea in the parlor. I saw dad pull up into the driveway alongside Mark’s Lexus and got up to go to the door to surprise him when I noticed he was still sitting in the car staring at the house. Dad took out his cell phone and a moment later mom’s phone started to ring where it sat on the coffee table.
I had reached down and grabbed it still wanting to catch dad by surprise so I answered. The surprise was on me and it was not a pleasant one, when as I started to answer dad snapped into the phone;
“Denise, what is that fucking animal doing in my house?”
I was speechless. Not just at the words themselves but the sheer animosity in them. I had never heard my father sound like that before. It hadn’t occurred to me that Dad would obviously assume it was Mark in Mark’s car.
“Denise?”
“Sorry Dad,” I replied. “I’ll get going, just stopped in to say hi.”
There was silence on the other end for a minute and finally dad said;
“Megan? Oh my god honey I’m sorry. I’ll be right in.”
I met dad at the door and we hugged a bit awkwardly. He apologized again saying he would never talk to his “little girl” like that. In spite of the ugliness I had just heard from him, hearing dad call me his little girl always made me happy. I had given him another hug at that point, a real one, and whispered in his ear, that I loved him, and we could talk about what had just happened later. Dad pulled me to him tighter and said fine but for now he just wanted to see his beautiful daughter. The polar opposite of mom, dad was tall just over six feet and still pretty solid going to the gym a couple of times a week and golfing whenever he could afford it. I let myself fold into him for a couple of minutes enjoying being close to him.