Pain

Arya’s POV
“One more glass!” I slurred at the bartender. He eyed me before he went ahead to pour me a glass of Whisky.
“Thank you!” I smiled goofily as I grabbed the glass from him. I gulped down almost all the liquid. It burned in my chest and my eyes watered. I smiled. Just what I needed. My brain was getting slow by the minute and I couldn’t remember how I made it into the bar. Pulsating music flooded out the speakers and people swung their bodies to the rhythm. I drank a bit of my drink and shut my eyes to accommodate the burning pain, and tightened my chest. I felt absolutely nothing. What an awesome alcohol could do. Hmm, why didn’t anyone tell me about this?
I was about to ask the bartender for something stronger when someone slid into the seat beside me. Suddenly, I felt my wolf giggle inside me as I gazed onto this stranger. Hold on… my wolf? She came back?
“A glass of brandy,” his deep baritone said. I peered into his face. Dark hair, grey eyes. Damn! He was an eye candy. I began to fan myself, suddenly feeling fluttered. He was too handsome. Way out of my league. I shrugged, taking my glass and draining the rest of the liquid.
After a while, I began to feel hungry. I struggled to get up and staggered out of the bar. I squinted out. Home was far away but I was going to go home. The moon was exceptionally full but it was not a full moon, thereby providing me light… I walked a little distance away from the bar and there he was.
That handsome guy from earlier. He was leaning on a tree in the woods like a model in that bad boy pose… He had a cigarette between his lips. Walking closer I could see the outline of his lip. It was full and plump. A part of me wondered what it would feel like having these lips on my body. The guy seemed to have noticed me, as he slightly turned around.
“What are you doing here so late?” his grey eyes glanced at me and he went back to his smoking, with this laxity and smugness. I gasped as I stood he in front of him, he had his buttons open, his chest. I wondered what he could feel like under my hands. I stared at him, this handsome man. For a moment I began to wonder what I would do if I wasn’t that uptight girl. I eyed his lips.
“What?” came his breathless reply.
Without thinking, I slammed my lips against his. He sucked in a breath, shocked but that gave me the chance to delve deeper into his mouth. I sucked on his tongue and clung to him like dirt did to shoes. We kissed aggressively for a minute and he pushed me away
“W… what are you doing?” he asked, staring at me like I was crazy.
“I know this is crazy and we just met. But I want you, “I said in ragged breaths. He stared at me, not doing anything. I hung my head low in embarrassment and before I knew it, he snatched me away from the ground, leaned me to a tree, and kissed me aggressively and passionately. I could think of nothing but his lips and hands over me.
Our kisses became more intense and, then our clothes began going off one by one. Almost at my peak, he carried me to somewhere, laying me on the grass, under the moonlight, we both fan to flame the heat we felt within us.
I awoke to a heavy hand on my waist as the breeze caressed my naked skin. It was still dark but I knew it was morning. So I slowly opened my eyes only to find a man beside me with his hand on my waist.
“He is real!” I whispered, and my hands clasped over my mouth. I shut my eyes and the memories began flooding in. My eyes widened in horror. So that was not a dream?
My heart thumped loud and I wondered if he could hear. What have I done? Immediately I looked around in that darkness. Slowly gathering my clothes, I put them on and ran away.
As I got home, I washed myself clean and went to lie in between my sheets. The weight of what I have done weighed on me but I consoled myself with the fact that many girls did it. I was not the exception.
******************************************************************************
ONE MONTH LATER
It was the third day in a row that I’d woken up feeling queasy. I knew I was going to fall sick. So immediately I took some medications. I didn’t want to have the sickness get me knocked up. Well, this continued till the next month and I began to worry. It wasn’t till a co-worker gave birth, that I began to think of the possibility of being pregnant.
I hadn’t seen my period for the month. Two days later, I had sheets flooded in red. A slow smile spread on my lips I was not pregnant. But I was still sick.
One night while we having dinner, I immediately raced to the bathroom and threw up.
“What’s wrong?” Dad asked as he walked behind me. I washed my mouth. It’s nothing, might be some allergy or something. My step mother glared at me. “She always has some issue,”
Dad stared at me through the mirror. “Why don’t you go get checked?” I nodded in agreement and walked to my room. Two days later, I went to the hospital.
“Congratulations ma’am, you’re two weeks pregnant”
“Wh…at!” I choked on my spit.
“You’re pregnant. The test result is out” She handed it over to me as she took a seat my eyes scanned the paper. I suddenly began to feel dizzy.
“Are you okay?” The doctor asked, but before I could reply, I passed out.
The next time I opened my eyes, I saw that I had been admitted to the hospital. The doctor stood in front of me,
“Can you hear me? Can you see me?” I nodded as I watched him speak. Though she was moving in slow motion, I could see and hear him.
“You need to take good care of yourself. You can’t go about fainting” she said. She looked at me with pity in her eyes. “Will you keep the baby?”
I sighed. Dad would go ballistic on me if he found out but he could still forgive me. I had no family except him, and killing this child was killing the only family I had. With tears in my eyes, I nodded smiling. The doctor immediately hugged me. “Oh that’s good”
But then life had a habit of screwing things up when you least expected it. A day before I could tell my father I was pregnant, he had a car accident and died. Still trying to mourn his loss, my step mother sold our house.
So there I was homeless, helpless, with a job that couldn’t put food on my table, not to talk of my child. When people heard that Jake and Anastasia were getting married, leaving me his actual mate, they laughed behind my back. One day after crying I made a decision.
For my sanity, I had to leave the pack. Go far away where I won’t be found. A place where no one would recognize me or know me to be a rejected werewolf. I’d go far away where no one would know that I was carrying a child. Especially not Jake’s. I was going to the human world.
There I will raise my child alone. Starting all afresh.