CALLY GALILEO
It was finally the day.
Today, this evening was finally the hour for me to leave Pietro’s home. It was finally my moment of freedom.
I should be relieved right now, packing a few clothings into my bag with my money sitting pretty in my account, but I was far from being relieved. I didn’t want to leave Pietro, but I knew I had to.
For a thousand reasons, I had to leave him, and I could not cling onto him for a single reason; that I loved him.
Fuck please…
“You are doing the right thing. This is the right decision. Aunt Mandy would never accept him. My guilt about my father’s life would never allow me to accept him. And not to mention the very obvious difference in our lives.” These words and many similar words had become my mantra over the past few hours.
With that assurance, I picked my bag up, glad that Pietro was not even here, but I could not maintain that tiny bit of gladness for a long while, before the door opened and revealed the only member of the house who could and would walk into my room without knocking; Pietro
“You are packing.” His voice was grim, almost having a deathly grit to it.
“I am not packing. I have actually finished packing.” I replied him, picking the small bag up. For a moment, he was silent, saying nothing but just staring at me.
I blinked and tightened my grip on my bag.
“You really want to leave me yet again?” He suddenly asked, his voice low and tempting. Very tempting.
But I knew to immediately look away from his face. I was not going to let those eyes deceive me into staying back here with him .
“I didn’t make the choice to come to you in the first place, and yes…” There was a tightness in my voice and in my heart as I spoke, trying to sound as nonchalant as I could.
“I am going to leave at the first chance I get and this is the first chance and I am very much jumping on this chance.” I was glad I finished my words without sounding like I was going to break down anytime soon in front of him.
“You might have arrived here not knowing, you were walking into my hands but Caily, I want you to raise your head up right now, look into my eyes and tell me that you did not feel glad that you came here. Tell me you did not feel happy that you signed those papers…” He was walking towards me as he said those words, and I could feel my heart clenching with every step I took back, trying to put a distance between myself and this man.
I was afraid. Afraid that if he reached a hand down to my hair and patted it, that if he lifted my face and kissed me, gently or harshly, I would melt into his arms and forsake the thoughts of ever leaving him.
I was afraid of what his near presence could do to me.
“Tell me that every smile you directed at me throughout your stay was fake. Tell me those orgasms were fake. Tell me your need for me was fake. Tell me…” My back pressed against the wall, and I gulped down hard.
“Tell me, Caily.” A hand reached for my face and gently cupped my face. My lips were slightly parted as my breathing got heavier.
“That you didn’t realise your feelings for me. Tell me you didn’t realise that we have always been for each other. Tell me that you didn’t come into realisation that you are fucking in love with me and want to remain by my side forever.”
I felt tongue tied. I wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that I had no such feelings for him and he had read too much meaning into my endurance of him but I could not blurt out such lies. My lips simply refused to tell such lies.
” Just let me… let me leave, Pietro. This deal is over.” I looked away from him, but he groaned, lifting my head up. His groan sounded impatient and frustrated.
“This deal is not over, Peaches!! It is not over until I say so!” He sounded pissed off, annoyed for a second, and that much annoyance in Pietro’s voice towards me made me flinch slightly.
He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes shutting tightly for a few seconds before he opened them and rested their intensity on me once again.
“You call me the monster, but do you even sit back and think about the things you do to me? Do you think it is the most humane thing in the world when you keep your feelings tucked in and keep me waiting forever much longer? Is It fun to you? Is It fun to watch me miserably waiting for you my entire life? Do you derive some sort of pleasure from making me want you with every of your actions and then depriving me in every single manner? Do you?” He questioned, but I could not say a word back to him. All I could do was stand there, heart racing, eyes glassy and lips parted as my mouth aided my breathing.
“You do.” he said the two words conclusively, and I felt this strong urge to tell him that he was wrong about this. To wrap my arms around him and tell him that the fact that he is not a normal man I can love hurts me just as much as it hurts him, but my lips only quiver with my inability to say even a word to him.
Pietro took a step away from me and chuckled. I could hear the tightness even in his chuckle now.
“Heavens” he muttered underneath his breath, more to himself than to me.
“She’s really never going to say those words. No matter how much it clouds her pretty eyes, she will confess with her mouth.” He continued the mutter as if in self realisation.
“It is hard.” I whispered, my breath and my voice equally shaky.
“It is hard to do what you want me to do, Pietro…”
“What I want?” He snapped again.
“You do not want it too?”
“Oh please, Pietro! I can not! It is too hard! Loving a man like you is too hard, Pietro!” I snapped back at him, moving my back off the wall.
“And so you’d rather hide the fact that you are already in love with me and that you fucking know it too?!”
“I am not!” I yelled the lie out as a tear slid down my cheek in my frustration.
“Loving you could have been easier if you were not like this!” I threw my bag to the floor.
“It could have been easier if you were even a little bit normal! If you were a normal guy, with normal urges, normal hobbies, a normal heart, a normal job! But you are far from normal! And I do not want anything that would disrupt my life! Loving you will! Being with you will will disrupt the entire flow of my life and that abnormality is not something I crave!” I had ranted too far, too much to quickly realise the effect of my words on the man listening.
His gaze was on me, a little bit of disbelief in his eyes, a little bit of hurt and a little bit of self hatred.
What have I done? How could I say all those words to him and call him abnormal?
My lips parted with quivering as I made an attempt to call his name and apologise for my words but he took even more steps back.
“You may leave, Caily.” His firm use of my name just made my heart hurt even more.
I sighed to relieve the pain a little but it didn’t work. It just hurt even more.
“Pietro, I didn’t mean to…”
“No,” he chuckled.
“You don’t have to apologise. You are completely right. I should be more normal.” He tilted his head at me slightly.
“Have fun finding yourself the perfectly normal man and loving him, Caily.”
My heart hurt even more and I took a step toward him, making another attempt towards an apology. But he raised a hand up to stop me from coming any closer to him.
He had his gaze on me ashe backed farther and farther away from me. I reached a hand out but I was too much of a coward to actually call him back. Pietro left the room and the door shut right after him
Gone.
Pietro was out of my life and all I could do was to burst into tears right after he walked out of my room and maybe my life as well.