260

260
Rosa’s POV.
The afternoon sunlight was warm on my face as Allesio and I walked back to the apartment. The day had been full of small joys-ice cream, bookshops, and just the comfort of him being with me, but something was very off about him. It was just too obvious. And it had been for a few weeks now and I couldn’t figure out what the issue was.
Allesio wasn’t himself.
Sure, he laughed at my jokes and indulged me when I dragged him into yet another store to look at scarves or quirky trinkets. He held my hand and kissed my temple like always, but there was a distance in his eyes. It was like his mind was somewhere else, wrestling with something I couldn’t see.
“Are you okay?” I asked again, keeping my tone light as we climbed into the elevator lifting us up to our apartment. I just couldn’t let it sit still, seeing him so obviously bothered.
“Yeah,” he said quickly, a little too quickly.
I let it slide, but my curiosity sharpened. This wasn’t the first time I’d felt him pulling away, and while I wanted to push for answers, I didn’t want to corner him. Not yet.
The elevator opened and I was the first to push off the wall and get in. I kicked off my shoes and flopped onto the couch, watching as Allesio set down the bags from our day out.
“Want a drink?” he asked, already heading toward the kitchen.
“Sure,” I said, propping my feet up on the coffee table.
He returned with two glasses of wine and handed one to me before settling into the chair across from me. I studied him as he took a sip, his gaze fixed on some point in the distance.
“Okay,” I said, breaking the silence. “What’s going on with you?”
He looked at me, startled. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve been… off,” I said carefully. “Distracted. Like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. And don’t tell me everything’s fine, because I know it’s not.”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s nothing, Rosa. Just work stuff.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Work stuff? That’s all you’ve got?”
“It’s complicated,” he said, his tone edging toward defensive.
“Allesio,” I said softly, leaning forward. “You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever it is, I’m here.”
For a moment, I thought he might open up. His eyes met mine, and I could see the struggle playing out in his mind. But then he looked away, shaking his head.
“It’s not something I can talk about right now,” he said finally.
The wall was back up, and I knew better than to try to break through it.
“Okay,” I said, leaning back and taking a sip of my wine. “But you don’t have to handle everything on your own, you know. I’m not going anywhere.”
He nodded, but his shoulders were still stiff. The rest of the evening passed on dully. We ordered take out and ate on the couch, the TV playing some mindless sitcom we weren’t really watching. I leaned against him, tracing lazy circles on his arm as he absentmindedly played with my hair.
It was almost peaceful-almost.
Then his phone buzzed on the coffee table.
He stiffened immediately, his body going rigid beneath me. I glanced at the screen, but the number wasn’t one I recognized.
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” I asked.
He hesitated before picking up the phone. “Yeah?”
I couldn’t hear the person on the other end, but the conversation was brief. Allesio’s responses were clipped, his tone low and tense.
“Got it,” he said finally before hanging up and tossing the phone onto the table.
“Who was that?” I asked, trying to sound casual.
“No one important,” he said, but the tightness in his jaw told a different story.
“Allesio.”
He glanced at me, his expression guarded. “What?”
“Don’t ‘what’ me,” I said, sitting up and facing him. “Something’s going on. You’ve been distracted all day, and now you’re acting like that call just set off a bomb in your head. What’s going on?”
“Rosa, it’s nothing,” he said, his tone firmer now.
“It’s clearly not nothing,” I argued. “If it were, you wouldn’t look like you’re ready to bolt out the door.”
He stood, running a hand through his hair as he paced the room. “I can’t explain it right now, okay? Just… trust me.”
“Trust you?” I repeated, my voice rising. “That’s all you ever say lately. Trust you, wait, don’t ask questions. But how am I supposed to trust you when you keep shutting me out?”
He continued pacing and I added,”You keep forgetting that I was born in this world, I am apart of this world so I can handle what’s bothering you!”
He stopped pacing, turning to face me. His expression softened, and for a moment, I saw the vulnerability beneath his frustration.
“I’m trying to protect you,” he said quietly.
“From what?” I asked, my heart sinking.
He didn’t answer.
“Allesio,” I said, my voice trembling now. “Whatever it is, I can handle it. I’m not some fragile little thing you need to shield from the big bad world.”
“I know that,” he said, stepping closer. “But this is different. It’s… complicated.”
“Complicated how?”
He hesitated, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.
“Just let it go, Rosa,” he said finally, his voice weary.
I stared at him, hurt and frustration swirling in my chest. “Fine,” I said, standing and grabbing my wine glass. “If you don’t want to talk, I won’t push. But don’t expect me to sit here and pretend everything’s okay when it’s not.”
I walked into the kitchen, setting my glass on the counter with more force than necessary. My hands were shaking, and I gripped the edge of the counter to steady myself.
A moment later, I felt his warmth behind me.
“Rosa,” he said softly.
I didn’t turn around. “What?”
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice sounding genuine and filled with regret.
I sighed, closing my eyes. “I just don’t understand why you won’t let me in, Allesio. We’re supposed to be a team.”
“We are,” he said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “And I promise, when the time is right, I’ll tell you everything. But right now, I need you to trust me.”
I turned to face him, searching his eyes for some kind of reassurance. “That’s not easy, you know.”
“I know,” he said, his hand moving to cup my cheek. “But you’re the most important thing in my life, Rosa. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
His words melted some of the tension in my chest but I was still doubting him.
“Okay,” I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper. “But don’t make me wait forever.”
“I won’t,” he promised, pulling me into his arms.
I rested my head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. The tension lingered in the air, heavy and suffocating. Even as I leaned into Allesio’s embrace, the doubts swirled in my mind. His arms around me felt like both a shield and a cage, protecting me while also keeping me at arm’s length from the truth.
I pulled back slightly to look at him, searching his face for any hint of what he was hiding. His expression was calm, but his eyes betrayed him-there was something stormy in them, something he was working desperately to suppress.
“Do you ever get tired of keeping everything locked up inside?” I asked, my voice soft but insistent.
His lips curved into a small, rueful smile. “You have no idea.”
“Then let me share the weight,” I said, reaching up to brush my fingers along his jawline. “You don’t have to carry it all by yourself, you know.”
He sighed, his eyes closing briefly under my touch. “It’s not that simple, Rosa.”
“Why not?” I challenged, my voice firmer now. “What’s so terrible that you can’t even talk to me about it?”
He stepped away, turning his back to me as he ran a hand through his hair. His shoulders were tense, and his movements restless.
“I’m not trying to shut you out,” he said after a long pause. “I just… I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Hurt by what? Words? Secrets? Or whatever it is you’re involved in that you think you need to shield me from?”
He turned back to me, his expression pained. “Rosa, please. Please just trust me on this.”
I stared at him, the frustration bubbling inside me. “Trust is a two-way street, Allesio. I’ve been nothing but honest with you, but it feels like you’re building walls between us all of a sudden this days.”
He took a step closer, his hands reaching for mine. “I’m not building walls. I’m trying to protect you.”
I yanked my hands away, taking a step back. “From what, Allesio? You keep saying that, but you won’t tell me what it is I’m supposed to be protected from. Do you realize how maddening that is?”
His jaw tightened, and for a moment, I thought he might finally crack and tell me the truth. But then he looked away, his gaze fixed on the floor.
“I can’t,” he said, the words barely above a whisper.
My heart sank, the weight of his refusal hitting me harder than I expected. “Then I don’t know how to help you,” I said, my voice trembling. “And that kills me, Allesio. I want to be there for you, but I can’t do that if you keep shutting me out.”
He looked up at me, his eyes filled with regret. “You’re helping me just by being here,” he said. “You’re the only thing keeping me sane, Rosa.”
“Then let me do more,” I pleaded.
“I will,” he said, stepping closer again. “When the time is right, I promise I’ll tell you everything. But for now, please… just give me some time.”
I swallowed hard, my mind torn between wanting to demand answers and wanting to give him the space he was asking for. “Okay,” I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper. “But don’t make me regret this.”
“You won’t,” he said, pulling me into his arms again.
We stood there in silence, his heartbeat steady against my ear. I wanted to believe him, to trust that he’d let me in when the time was right. But deep down, I couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever he was hiding would change everything.
He pulled away, taking my hand and leading me back to the living room. We settled back on the couch, the remnants of our takeout still sitting on the coffee table. Allesio seemed more relaxed, though his shoulders were still stiff.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked, breaking the quiet.
“Just… life,” he said, a faint smile tugging at his lips.
“That’s vague,” I teased, nudging him with my foot.
He chuckled, the sound warming the air between us. “Okay, fine. I was thinking about you.”
“Me?” I said, raising an eyebrow. “What about me?”
“How you manage to stay so patient with me, even when I don’t deserve it,” he admitted, his tone sincere.
“Because I love you,” I said simply.
The way his eyes softened at my words made my heart ache. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he said quietly.
“You don’t have to deserve me,” I replied, reaching over to take his hand. “Just be honest with me when you’re ready.”
“I will,” he promised again, his fingers tightening around mine.
For a while, we sat in companionable silence, the TV murmuring in the background. I couldn’t help but replay the earlier phone call in my mind. Whoever had called him had rattled him, no matter how much he tried to hide it.
“Allesio,” I said, breaking the silence.
“Hmm?”
“That call earlier… are you sure it was nothing?”
He hesitated, and I saw the tension creep back into his posture. “Yeah, it’s nothing you need to worry about,” he said, his tone too casual to be convincing.
“Okay,” I said, trying to calm myself and believe him when he says it’s nothing.
I didn’t want to push him again, not tonight.