Finally, I found a female private detective who, after a brief telephone interview, seemed reasonable. She wanted to talk to me face to face, so I made an appointment.
The following day we met at her office. I gave her all the information that I could, and let her know that it was my counselor’s opinion that Kate was cheating. It took a little over an hour, and cost a small fortune, to pass on the necessary information and receive a commitment from her to have the investigation and report completed within three weeks.
It was the longest three weeks of my life. I skipped my next two sessions with Candis, angry that she had suggested Kate might be cheating.
At the end of the three weeks, the private detective surprised me by knocking on my front door. She said that the investigation was complete and had come to deliver the report, so I invited her inside, and we sat at the dining room table.
I knew things were bad when she opened her briefcase, took out a box of tissues and passed it to me. She told me she’d emailed everything she was about to show me, then she pulled out a folder. It contained dozens of photos of my wife with two different men. I wept for the loss of my marriage.
Probably, people wouldn’t understand what Kate meant to me. It was Kate who, years ago, had taken a broken man and given him a reason to live and better himself. Without her I would be nothing and, in my mind, better off dead. I had never felt worse in my life. Fortunately, it was only Tuesday, and I had a whole week to clean up my act before Kate returned.
I decided to resume my sessions with Candis and tell her what had happened. After updating her, Candis commiserated for a while, then shocked me by starting a conversation about different types of marriage. She began with a discussion of ‘open marriages’, telling me how a proportion of couples have different degrees of open marriage. In some, both partners take on multiple lovers and still come home together. In others, only the wife or husband take on partners and the other stays faithful.
After a while, she mentioned cuckolding, and I was surprised she was so graphic about it. She told me that, if I really wanted to stay married to Kate, I would have to consider all options. If no option was acceptable then I would have to divorce her. In Candis’ opinion, Kate was so deep into her present lifestyle that a major change would destroy the marriage anyway.
I went home to study the cuckold lifestyle. At first, I found some scenarios arousing, but then I read about some things that wives forced on their husbands which made me feel sick. Like the way they would humiliate them in public, especially in front of their bulls (as they called their lovers). Some of them even got pregnant by their lovers, and had their husbands raise the children, all the while denying their husbands any sex.
When Kate arrived home that weekend, I faked being sick and even slept in the spare room on Friday night. I woke to my wife holding me tightly. She pleaded, “Baby I need to hold you at night. Please, it’s all I ask.”
I slept in our bed Saturday night, not touching Kate sexually. However, on Sunday night, I couldn’t keep my hands off her. I took her with a passion that I had never experienced. It was lust, it was wanting, it was everything one could ever want until it was over.
My explosion was the most powerful that I’d ever experienced and, afterwards, I collapsed onto Kate without enough energy to be able to move. I laid on her heavily, not rolling off as I would normally do, half-expecting her to push me off.
I had been trying to ignore the reality of Kate’s cheating for weeks, until she came home and accused me of cheating. I had never laughed harder in my life at the unmitigated hypocrisy of the woman. I had never considered retaliation, or stepping out on her, because I felt that I owed her my loyalty for all that she’d done to raise my self-esteem over the years, even though her actions were currently undermining that good work.
As the argument progressed, I learned that she had discovered the file the detective sent me. She had opened it and found the photos of her with her two lovers. I had known of her cheating for almost 8 months, but I still hadn’t decided on a course of action, despite several sessions with Candis to discuss the issues.
One of Candis’ suggestions was to write down some rules that Kate would have to follow if I was to ever accept being a cuckold. I decided that, if I had to share her, to limit the amount of humiliation that I would have to endure, then she would
not get pregnant
never deny me sex at any time
stop sneaking around and lying
continually reassure me of her love physically and emotionally.
If she would not accept, and abide by, these rules then we would divorce immediately. The rules had been finalized for a long time, waiting for the opportunity to present them to Kate, which she had just handed to me with her hypocritical accusation.
To my surprise, after our confrontation, Kate went to visit Lora over the weekend. She called a couple of times and told me that we needed to talk, but she thought it would be best if we had a cooling-down period.
After being anxious all weekend, I only saw Kate briefly on Monday morning, when she showed up with barely enough time to get her clothes and make her flight.
Kate only had time to say she was afraid of what I was going to do. She said she explained the situation to Lora, and that Lora took my side and gave Kate hell all weekend. I was proud of our daughter. Kate never contacted Roy who was only interested in himself. I watched as Kate tucked her tail and headed off to catch her flight.
I had decided to make Kate’s activities with her lovers a little more complicated than they had been previously. I decided to follow her on her weekly ‘work’ travels.
Landing about six hours after Kate, I checked into the same hotel she used and went to the same lounge. I looked around and quickly recognized Keven. He was sitting at the bar, so I took the stool next to him and struck up a conversation without introducing myself. As we chatted, he confessed that he was having a really bad time. He said that his girlfriend had dumped him and blew him off last night. He told me that they had been together for almost a year and, though he wasn’t in love with her, she was special to him. I asked him to elaborate.
“Well, if a man is intimate with a woman, it’s impossible not to have feelings for her. But my girl is happily married, and I knew that. I tried like hell to just keep it about sex but, well, I just can’t make it that way. She is a special woman and I know that I can never have her,” he finished.
I asked why he would say that.
“She is in love with her husband,” he said simply.
“How would you know that?” I asked.
“Dude, all she does is talk about him. How he makes her feel so good and womanly. How he picks her up emotionally. She told me how he put her through college, and supported her too, in their early years, something even her own parents wouldn’t do.”
He looked at me with a wry smile on his face. “Dude, I know more about him than I know about her.”
Kate showed up a short time later, but I was able to leave before she saw me.
The next day, while Kate was at work, I found Keven and we chatted some more. Kate called me from the lobby that night, while I was in the lounge with Keven. It came as a shock when my wife’s ring tone went off, very loudly, and I know she heard it as she turned and looked around instinctively.
I managed a “Hello. Just a moment, Baby…” as I quickly left the lounge before she could find me.