As Sandy drove me home her hand slipped into mine, or mine into hers, I wasn’t sure, but it felt lovely. As we pulled into my driveway my van was there, which meant Paige was home. I could also see the lights flickering in Charlie’s room. I’d almost guarantee he had the stream from the doorbell camera in a corner of his computer, so he’d know when I got home. Which meant no front porch kisses.
She put her Wrangler in park. “Can I walk you to the door?”
“Probably shouldn’t.” I nodded toward the house. “Snooping kids.”
“Ah yes, the bane of every dating mother.”
“And Scooby-Doo villain.”
“True.” We both smiled and I bowed my head.
“I had a wonderful time tonight.”
Her eyes fixed me, taking my breath away. “Will you be free for lunch this week, Melanie?”
“Mm-hm. Any day.”
“Good. I don’t see patients Wednesday afternoon. Say one o’clock?”
“Sure.” I put my hand on the door handle, but let it go and leaned back across the cab. Sandra met me halfway, and we kissed deep and long, and when I broke away I reveled a little in the dazed look on Sandy’s face. I recognized it. It was the same look that Prescott Lassiter had had when I’d surprised him with a kiss after our first date back in high school. I didn’t know I could still have that effect on a person, but it felt wonderful. My mother had always taught me that the most important thing in flirting was to leave them wanting more.
“Bye.” I slipped out of the car and up the walk, glancing back to see Sandra watching me walk up the steps to my front porch. I smiled at her before I tapped on the lock for the front door, which whirred open. And I slipped inside.
I was greeted with the surround sound blaring some action movie from the family room. “Will! Half volume. Now!”
“Sorry, Mom!” The volume lowered. “How was your night?”
I smiled. “It was good, thanks. It’s about time for bed, don’t you think?”
“Okay, just ten more minutes on my movie. Please?” He flashed me his most winning smile. Damn, the kid is a born politician. I just hope someday he uses his superpowers for good.
“Fine, ten more minutes. I’m going to set the alarm, make sure everything is off when you come upstairs.”
“Okay, Mom. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart.” I headed upstairs and poked my head into my younger son Charlie’s room. He gave me a little harder time than his brother had, but I watched him shut down before I started walking back to my room. I saw Paige’s door close as I turned toward my bedroom. I crossed the hall and knocked.
“Come in.”
I opened the door. “Hi, sweetie. How was your party?”
“It was good. It ended up being just the team.”
“So no drama?”
Paige blushed, her face twisting into a nervous smile. “I wouldn’t say ‘none’.”
I slipped inside and closed the door behind me, sitting in Paige’s desk chair. “Wanna explain?”
“Well, there’s a rumor going around that a couple of the girls on the team are, well, that they like each other. Like, they’re secretly dating.”
“It’s never a good idea to spread rumors, sweetheart. I’d just let it be.”
Paige’s voice was quiet. “But I know it’s not just a rumor.” She put her hand up before I could ask the obvious question. “It’s not me, but it is a friend. And she’s confided in me.”
I went over and sat by my daughter. “Well, if she feels confident enough to confide in you, then I’d make sure I don’t betray that, right?” Paige nodded, looking down.
“Yeah.”
“So, how do you feel about it?”
Paige took a deep breath and glanced
“I worry about her. She’s really scared, Mom. Her family,” she shook her head.
“Disapproving?”
Paige nodded. “She hasn’t told them, of course, but yeah. They’re really religious.”
I reached out and took my daughter’s hand. “Sounds like she’s going to need all the friends she can get, and I’m very proud that she counts you among them.” Paige nodded. I looked at her seriously. “It’s not a joke, though, sweetie. Mental health struggles and suicide are all much higher in LGBTQ+ youth, especially when they come from unsupportive families.”
“I know, I read about that.” She took a deep breath before grinning. “You’re just lucky you grew up in a simpler time.”
I laughed. “There are no simpler times, sweetie. Just different.”
“Oh, I forgot! How was your date?”
I laughed, probably a little too nervously. “It, um, it wasn’t a date. Just a girlfriend.”
Now it was her turn to get serious. “You know it’d be okay, if it were a date? I mean, if you actually went on a date.”
I smiled at her, trying not to look guilty. “Thank you, sweetie. You know, the same goes for you. Any prospects for homecoming?”
Cue the teenage eye roll. “Mo-om!”
I laughed, “I’m sorry. You have a good night.”
I headed back into my bedroom, after one more stop off in Charlie’s room to make sure he hadn’t restarted his computer. I closed my door behind me and headed into my bathroom to wash my makeup off and change for bed. Suddenly I was alone with my thoughts for the first time since Sandy had dropped me off. It was odd, walking through the house with a huge secret like nothing had happened tonight. I’d even lied to two of my children. I can’t remember the last time I’d done that.
Actually, I did. It was when my marriage had been falling apart. Paige had only been six. She’d known something was wrong, but I had kept telling her everything was okay, right up until the day her father moved out. Since then there’d been nothing to lie about.
I looked into the mirror. Who was I? A mother, an editor, sort of, and a lover? Here, now, it all seemed so ridiculous, but it had happened. My eyes closed as the image of Sandy, her gaze burning with desire, leaned forward and took my mouth with hers. I felt the flush of heat build inside me as our lips moved together in my mind, my legs rubbing together, intensifying the feeling. My eyes opened and I looked at myself again, seeing the blush in my cheeks, the darkening of my eyes. I may not be eighteen and gorgeous anymore, but I wasn’t dead.
I stripped, heading back into my bedroom and turning the lock on my door. I headed to my dresser and opened the top drawer. Where was my vibrator? I pushed aside my bras and found it in the back. I also grabbed a nightgown before climbing under the covers and switching on my battery operated boy, ah, I guess I mean girlfriend.
***
“Hi, Mother.”
“Hello, sweetheart.” Mom leaned in and kissed my cheek before stepping out of the way to let us in. I did the same, and my three children filed past me, giving their grandmother shy greetings, which was normal. None of them were really close to her. Not surprising, since my mom was really hard, maybe even impossible, to get close to. I often wondered how close she and my dad even were.
After the kids went inside Mom turned away from me to follow them into the house, leaving me to come in behind her. Usually that made me feel rejected, but today I felt anger. It dissipated a little as I closed the front door behind me, smelling the incredible aromas hanging in the house.
One thing that I knew was that Mother hadn’t cooked. She hadn’t cooked anything in decades. Which meant either she’d called in her cook on a Sunday, or maybe… I poked my head into the kitchen.
“Miss Winifred?”
An old woman was standing by the stove, and her face split into a dazzling smile as she saw me. She set down the spoon she was holding and stepped towards me, and I let her wrap me in a hug. “Oh, child, it’s good to see you.”
I let her warmth suffuse me for a second. Winifred had been like a second mother throughout my childhood, my family’s principal housekeeper and cook. Mother had taken intense pride in being able to hire domestic servants, and Father, who’d grown up with domestics, had made sure she only took on the very best. Father had always considered them an extension of the family, Mother, well, while she was never cruel, but she did not extend that feeling.
I gave her a gentle squeeze before I broke away. “Why do you still let my mother talk you into this? You’re retired. You should be enjoying yourself.”
She gave me a kind look. “I am enjoying myself.” She turned back to her pots on the stove. “It’ll give me a little extra spending money for Christmas. Besides, that man of mine and Jackson took my grandbabies on a fishing trip, and, Lord, you know me and boats.”
“They must be getting big now.”
“Oh, yes.” She spent some time giving me a rundown of all of her children and grandchildren and everything they were up to. I could feel the pride in her voice, and she listened eagerly as I updated her on Paige, Will, and Charlie.
Our conversation lulled after a while. I was stirring the pot of rice bubbling in the back, and she glanced over at me. “You’ve got a little more color in your cheeks than last time, Melanie. Anyone new in your life?” Her grin made me blush, and I pulled my head in a bit. “There is! Don’t worry, child, your parents won’t hear about it from me.”
“I don’t really know if there’s anything there.”
“Oh, I think you do. When I met my Anthony, I knew right away. Sometimes you just feel it.” She gave me a conspiratorial look. “I’ll just ask you one question. Would your mother approve of him?”
I barked a short laugh. “Not a chance.”
“I like him already.”
I giggled like a schoolgirl, which of course is precisely when my mother poked her head into the kitchen. I’m not sure if her disapproval stemmed from my familiarity with the help or the fact that I was helping her cook.
“Melanie!” The tone of her voice brooked no dissention. “Your father’s wanting to see you.”
I nodded, before smiling at Winifred, who nodded out toward the living room. “Go on child, I’ll see you later.”