Damien
I watched her. Helplessly. Obsessively. Unapologetically.
The beige silk nightdress hugged her body like a second skin, whispering over her curves, molding to every dip and swell. Her pale skin glowed under the dim light, and her dark lashes fluttered against her cheeks as she slept-peaceful, untouched by the storm that raged inside me.
She had been asleep for over an hour. And I had been staring at her like a fucking creep. Well, I didn’t fucking care. Not when she looked like this. Not when she was the most beautiful thing I would ever destroy. The thought left a bitter, acidic taste in my mouth, but it was the truth.
Hailey’s eyes never lied. Every time she looked at me, it was all there-what she felt, what she wanted, what she didn’t even understand yet.
And one day, I’d be the one to break her.
I’d be her first heartbreak.
Probably not her last, given how naive and open and utterly, devastatingly trusting she was. And yet, the thought of another man-any man-touching her, making her laugh, making her feel anything… It made me want to fucking kill.
Fuck.
What was wrong with me?
Nothing made sense-not what I was thinking, not what I was feeling. Yet, before I could stop myself, I reached out.
Slowly.
Reverently.
I tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, my fingertips grazing her cheek, feather-light. But it wasn’t enough. Not even close. I traced the curve of her jaw, then lower-her lips.
Soft. So goddamn soft.
It took everything in me not to kiss her.
But then-
She shifted.
I froze.
Shit. Did I just wake her up? Before I could move away, she made a small sound-a soft, sleepy mewl-and snuggled closer. Her face pressed into my neck, her breath warm against my skin.
One small hand rested against my abs, delicate and trusting, and I felt her relax, as if…
As if she knew she was safe with me.
Me.
A fucking monster.
A hollow ache spread through my chest, unwelcome and suffocating. How the hell was I supposed to push this woman away when she was already running through every inch of my veins? Despite every warning, despite every reason, I wrapped my arm around her.
Pulled her closer.
And before I could stop myself-before I could think better of it-I pressed a kiss to her temple.
It was a mistake. A deadly mistake.
Because Hailey was heaven, and I didn’t fucking want to see heaven in her. That’s why I was going to ruin her. And I was a sick, heartless bastard for that.
But I had no choice.
This? This was survival.
The last time I cared about someone more than myself, it broke me. I barely survived. I was better off where I was now. In control. Detached. Unfazed.
Even if they say comfort is the biggest enemy, I’d still fucking choose it-because this stability? It took everything to build. I had an empire to protect now. I wasn’t that stupid twenty-one-year-old drowning in drugs and regret anymore. I wouldn’t let another woman be my ruin. It had taken me five years to claw my way back to stability. And right now, letting Hailey in-letting her mean something-wasn’t a wise choice. Not when my old wounds were still fucking raw.
I exhaled sharply, trying to steady myself, but my eyes drifted back to Hailey.
And fuck-
My chest ached. Burned.
I hated it. I hated her for making me feel it. She should have been just another woman. But she wasn’t. She could never be just another woman.
Before I could spiral further, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I grabbed it, careful not to disturb Hailey, already half-expecting Jenna’s name to light up the screen. I was ready to silence it when I saw the caller ID.
Dad.
I picked up the phone, my voice low. “Hello?”
“Hey, son!” Dad greeted, his voice carrying over the distant shuffle of movement and Madison’s voice murmuring something in the background. “How’s it going?”
I stared at Hailey, brushing my thumb over her cheek, then along the curve of her shoulder. “Couldn’t be better. What about you?”
“Great would be an understatement for me, but let’s settle for that.” He chuckled. “Madison and I are about to board. We’ll be home tomorrow.” And just like that, he dropped a fucking bomb on me.
I should’ve expected it the second I saw his name on my screen. But still, hearing it? It settled in my stomach like lead. I forced my voice to stay neutral. “Oh. Okay. See you tomorrow then?”
Dad laughed. “Classic Damien-zero excitement to see his old man.”
I sighed. “Dad, I’m not a kid who gets excited about their parents coming home. And we both know I never had the privilege of that-not even when I was a kid. You were always around, and Mom… well, she never visited.” A bitter chuckle slipped past my lips. “So let’s not pretend.”
Silence.
Then, he cleared his throat, shifting the conversation. “Anyway, where’s Hailey? Madison’s been calling her, but she isn’t picking up.”
My gaze fell back to Hailey, a small, involuntary smile tugging at my lips. “She’s probably asleep. Had a lot of homework, I heard.” My hand found its way to her hip, fingers ghosting over soft skin. “She must be exhausted.”
Well, she definitely was.
After what I’d put her through before she finally collapsed into sleep. She had expected it-wanted it-when she put on that beautiful show for me outside. Any sane man with a functioning dick wouldn’t have resisted after watching her like that.
And I was no exception.
Dad sighed. “Ah, makes sense. Guess we’ll talk to her tomorrow then. Send the driver to the airport-I’ll message you the time.”
“Sure. Bye.”
I hung up and set my phone on the nightstand.
That was when Hailey, up until now sleeping peacefully, began to stir.
I turned to her immediately, my hand pressing gently to her lower back. “It’s okay,” I whispered, my other hand threading into her hair. “Sleep, baby.”
She exhaled softly, tension melting from her body as she settled again. This time, she didn’t bury her face in my neck. Instead, she rested her head on my bicep, clutching onto it with one hand, while the other lay against my chest-right over my heart.
I watched her.
And then-
I did something I would forever regret. I leaned in. Pressed a kiss to her forehead. And whispered against her skin the words that fucking destroyed a part of me. The words… I should have never said.
I have to push Hailey away. And I hated the fact that I already knew exactly how. But not yet. Not tonight. For now, I’d keep her close.
Just a few more days. Maybe a few more hours. Just long enough to savor her presence. To savor the feelings I’d never allow myself to accept. To savor the love I’d never let myself feel ever again.