Calvin’s POV
Pain.
It consumed me.
It burned through my body like an unrelenting fire, sharp and merciless. My back-shredded, bleeding-throbbed with every breath, every tiny movement. But the physical agony was nothing compared to the storm raging inside me.
Kamrynn.
She had rejected me. Not just rejected me-she had torn me apart with her words, left me bleeding and broken in a way that no wound could ever match.
The love of my life. The mother of my children. My mate.
Gone.
My entire body shook as a sob wrenched itself from my throat. I curled my fingers into my hair, gripping it tight as if that could stop the unbearable ache spreading through my chest.
I had known. Deep down, I had known that after everything I had done, I might never win her back. That my sins were too heavy, my mistakes too great.
But some foolish, desperate part of me had still hoped.
Hoped that maybe, just maybe, we could start over.
That hope had been crushed beneath her heel today.
I could still hear her voice. Cold. Final. A death sentence to everything I had ever wanted.
More tears streamed down my face. I didn’t bother wiping them away. What was the point?
I had nothing left.
What was the point of any of this?
A dark thought whispered in the back of my mind.
What if I just… ended it?
Wouldn’t it be easier?
Wouldn’t it be better-for everyone?
My fingers trembled as I exhaled shakily.
If I wasn’t here, Kamrynn wouldn’t have to deal with me. The Pack wouldn’t have to bear the weight of my past failures. My children…
My children.
Would they be better off without me?
A new wave of pain crashed over me at the thought. I had spent most of my life without a father. I had sworn-sworn-that I would never put my children through that same loneliness.
But now…
“You’re fucking pathetic.”
Fenrir’s voice slammed into my mind like a whip, sharp and filled with disgust.
“You were the one yapping about how our children need both their parents. And now you want to tap out just because you got rejected? Weak. Absolutely weak. You’re revolting.”
I clenched my fists. “You don’t understand, Fenrir.”
“I understand perfectly,” he snarled. “You’re in pain. You’re broken. She’s my mate too, how do you think I feel? You think you know pain now but when she utters a formal rejection, I’ll be absolutely crushed because my soul bond with Aryna will break and you can’t even imagine how excruciating it is. But do you see me sulking? No. Because I am Alpha, we are Alpha. Have you actually thought this through? You still have things to live for. You still have our pups. You still have reparations to make to the Pack. You don’t get to die just because things didn’t go your way.”
His words stabbed deep, cutting through the thick fog of my despair.
He was right.
I wasn’t the only one who had been hurt by my mistakes.
The Pack had suffered because of me. Kamrynn had suffered because of me.
My children deserved better than a father who gave up.
I inhaled sharply and wiped at my face with the back of my hand, trying to pull myself together.
I wasn’t dead yet.
A soft knock at the door made me flinch.
I barely had time to lift my head before Franklin stepped inside.
He took one look at me and froze.
His gaze swept over the room, taking in the blood on the floor, the whip lying discarded at a corner of the room, and finally-the ruined mess of my back.
His face paled. “Calvin…”
I met his eyes but said nothing.
He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but the look I gave him shut him up instantly.
His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I’ll get the first aid.”
He disappeared before I could respond.
I let out a slow, shaky breath and ran a hand through my hair.
I barely had the energy to move. Every part of me ached-inside and out.
A minute later, Franklin returned, first aid box in hand. He didn’t say a word as he set it down beside me and got to work.
The moment the disinfectant touched my back, I sucked in a sharp breath. It felt like someone had poured acid over my wounds, the pain raw and searing.
But I didn’t make a sound.
Instead, I let my mind wander.
What was the future going to be like without Kamrynn by my side as my precious Luna?
I had dreamed-hoped-that we would rebuild the Pack together. That we would stand side by side, raise our children, and fix the mistakes of the past.
But now, that dream was nothing more than dust.
Instead, I saw a different future.
One where Kamrynn moved on.
One where she found someone else.
Someone who treated her like the queen she was. Someone who held her at night, whispered sweet words in her ear, made her laugh in ways I never could.
I could see it so clearly.
Kamrynn standing beside another man, their hands entwined.
Kamrynn smiling-really smiling-like she hadn’t in years.
Kamrynn waking up in another man’s arms.
My stomach twisted violently, my hands trembling at my sides.
I tried to shove the image away, but it was already burned into my mind.
I could see my children, too. Growing up between two homes. Spending weekends with me but returning to Kamrynn’s house-the house she shared with someone else.
One day, my children might call another man ‘Dad.’
The thought sent a fresh wave of despair crashing over me.
Before I realized it, my eyes were burning again.
The tears came without warning, slipping down my face in silent, miserable streams.
I had spent my whole life bottling everything up, hiding my pain behind walls no one could break through.
But now, it was like the floodgates had opened, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop it.
I ran a hand through my hair, my shoulders shaking.
Franklin didn’t say anything.
He just continued treating my wounds, working in silence. I was grateful for that. I didn’t have the energy to speak, didn’t have the energy to hide right now.
When he was finally done, he secured the bandages in place and exhaled softly.
“That sure is a nasty wound,” he muttered, trying to sound lighthearted. “It’s gonna leave scars.”
I didn’t respond.
Did it even matter?
Franklin hesitated, as if debating whether to say something else-
BANG.
The door slammed open so violently that it nearly flew off its hinges.
Franklin shot to his feet, startled.
Lorien stormed inside, radiating fury, his entire body taut with barely restrained rage.
He looked like he was about to burn the whole damn place to the ground.
I barely reacted.
I already knew-I had apparently done something wrong again. I just keep messing up these days, even breathing is starting to feel like a mistake…
But I didn’t care.
I didn’t care what he had to say.
I didn’t care what he wanted to do to me.
I was just… tired.
So, so tired.
Would it be asking too much for me to close my eyes…
And never have to open them again?