Killian’s POV.
I sat in my chambers, my mind filled with the thought of Elena.
It’s been an entire day since the occurrence between us and I still can’t shake her thoughts off my head.
I felt a twinge of pain each time I remembered the look in her eyes. They were laced with anger and coldness.
Her bitter tears, her angry words. It all flashed through my head, haunting me terribly.
It wasn’t my intention for things to go the way they did. But my emotions overpowered me, my wolf wasn’t making it easier with the way he kicked and yearned in excitement whenever I was around her.
I tried to control myself but my emotions had other plans for me.
Despite how ugly things had gotten between us, I still burned with unfulfilled desires and deep cravings for her. Her thoughts totally consumed my head.
I was slowly losing my mind. Ever since she returned to the pack, I’ve not been able to control myself around her, there’s always an intense yearning to have her wrapped in my arms. To claim her as my mate and secure her by my side forever, but it seems my efforts keep going down the drain. Each move I made to win her back seemed to push her further away from me. It felt like there was something about me that was scaring her off. I could see the turmoil in her eyes. I couldn’t help but notice that something was troubling her, but my attempts to find out, further scared her off the more.
I understood her anger. Anyone treated as horribly as she was treated by the entire pack and I inclusive would do worse.
But I could tell she still harbored crumbs of desire for me, it was evident in her body reactions, she wanted me as much as I wanted her, I felt the spark between us when I kissed her, and I’m certain she felt it too, but for some reasons, she was trying hard to resist it.
I wish she could believe how truly sorry I am, and how willing I am to make things right again. I’d do anything to wipe off the look of resentment in her eyes and have them replaced with that of, love and compassion. It doesn’t matter what it takes me. But I truly will.
I was foolish enough to lose her the first time. I’m never going to let her slip away from my palms again.
Suddenly, a knock on the door snapped me out of my troubled thoughts.
It was Graham. My lead warrior. I had sent for him earlier.
“The door is open, Graham,” I said and he pushed the door open and entered.
“Alpha.” He bowed slightly in respect and I nodded at him.
I had placed him in charge of Elena’s wellbeing since her return.
“Graham, you’ve been watching her like I instructed, right? Have you noticed anything yet?”
“Nothing really, though I’ve kept a close tab on her and all I noticed is that she has never smiled genuinely since she got here,” he replied.
I stared at him, sudden realization hitting me. He was truly right. She has been different since her return, there’s always a cold look radiating in her eyes whenever I look into them. Even when she was close to me, she always seemed really distant.
“Maybe I could be wrong, maybe she is still trying to get used to the environment after what happened the last time,” he added.
“No, I think something might be wrong,” I shook my head.
Or maybe we were both wrong about her but I can’t seem to shrug off the feeling that something was up with her.
“Or could she be back to take revenge?” His next words suddenly hit me hard. “I mean, she was wrongly accused and banished in the most degrading way, and no one really knows what she went through outside the pack.”
“You can’t be entirely wrong, but then again, I don’t think this is about revenge, Elena isn’t capable of such” I mumbled.
“Maybe it isn’t about revenge, but it could be something else, I just think that we should be guarded, just in case something comes up,” he said.
I sighed frustratedly, running my hands through my head.
“I need you to continue keeping a close eye on her, and once you find something, don’t hesitate to bring it to my notice,” I instructed and he nodded frantically.
“You may go now,” I dismissed him.
Once again, I was buried in the shackles of my thoughts.
I needed to act fast before things went beyond repair.
Something was definitely up with Elena, if she isn’t in some kind of trouble, then she might be the trouble. Either way, I was determined to get to the root of this. How could I have believed that she’d be out for this long years and return the same?
All I could think of was the terrible experience she might have encountered outside the pack that has turned the once sweet naive Elena to someone this cold.
Just as Graham walked out, a knock followed suit on the door.
“I’m not seeing anyone right now, return later!” I blurted with a tone of finality.
I already have a lot to deal with, I can’t manage further pack cases at the moment.
“Father?” Emily’s soft voice sounded through the door and that was all it took for me to jump on my feet and went to open the door for her.
Surprisingly, she wasn’t alone, Aria stood behind her with an unreadable expression on her face.
Why do I feel like she’s trying to use Emily as a point of connection to have a discussion, and it has everything to do with Elena.
I bent downwards and picked her into my arms. “Mother, you don’t have to wait for me, father will bring me home later.” Emily suddenly blurted and a wide smile broke out on my face. This child of mine is a genius.
I watched as Aria’s face crumpled into a deep frown. “I want to also have a…”
“That’s right Aria, I’ll bring her home later,” I quickly jammed the door on her face before she said another word.
Of course I can’t avoid her forever, but right now, Elena is my priority.