MAEVE HAWTHORN.
It’s been four days since Enzo and I went to that estate, four days since I saw him brutally kill someone with no remorse and even though it’s been that long, I still couldn’t get it out of my head.
I’d done everything in my power to make sure that I forget about it but the moment I’m left alone with my thoughts, the more it comes hitting me.
I couldn’t get it out of my head, the sight, the sound and everything was so difficult to forget and nothing, not even my father has had this kind of effect on me.
“Hey! Are you listening?!” Clara’s voice put my thoughts to a stop and it wasn’t until then that I realized that I’d totally gotten lost in my own thoughts.
“You’re doing it again,” Clara added as she turned to face me on the bed. I knew we were having a conversation but somewhere along the line, I’d spaced out.
“What’s going on?” She added and I sighed as I turned to face her too. The scar the incident four days ago had caused me was too difficult to nurse.
I’d had series of scary nightmares and there were all so fucking terrifying that I had no other choice than to ask Clara to spend the night in hopes that I wouldn’t think more about it but that didn’t work.
“You were also talking and crying in your sleep, you sounded so scared,” she continued and I only sighed as I wondered how Enzo had lived practically all his life after doing something so horrible.
Does he have nightmares too? Was he just lying when he’d told me that he doesn’t regret his actions?
Why am I even thinking too much about this?
Closing my eyes, I tried to shut the thoughts out but doing that was more difficult than ever. It’s also been four days since I’d last seen Enzo but that wasn’t a bad thing because I genuinely don’t want to see him.
I had Clara with me and she’s been with me for two days, helping me with my nightmares and cheering me up whenever I needed it.
Does he really not care about the people he’d killed? What about their families? Kids? Significant others?
How can one person be so terrible?
“Something has clearly been bothering you.” Her voice jolted me out of my thoughts again and I sighed as I got out of bed.
“It’s nothing, I’ve just been thinking and basically, a lot has happened these past days.” I responded and to avoid any further questions, I used the bathroom as a means of escape.
Staring at the bathroom rumor, I could still feel chills running down my spine. The hair at the back of my neck became suddenly erect and suddenly, I felt like I wasn’t alone.
I knew it was just my imagination and there was no ghost haunting me but it’s difficult to stop thinking in that direction when I feel haunted.
Wincing, my eyes hurt and my body felt as though it was giving in to the fatigue that came with not having enough rest even though there’s someone who’s willing to help me through it.
I brushed my teeth and washed my face and when I got out of the bathroom Clara had tidied up the bed and was ready to go downstairs.
My stomach growled and I felt hunger pangs tearing at me. I hadn’t eaten anything all through yesterday because I was avoiding Enzo and I’d stubbornly asked Clara not to get me anything.
“Will you please just talk to me? I’m really worried about you and I don’t know how long you think you can keep this up for but I know something is eating you up.” Clara said.
Her voice was heavy with worry and the way her brows drew together showed me just how concerned she is about me, her eyes were dark and she looked like she was going to cry anytime soon.
“I’m telling you, Clara, it’s really nothing you should be worried about. I’m fine.” I forced a smile but that only seemed to get her even angrier.
“YOU’RE NOT FINE!” She barked and I almost jumped, her breathing paced and I watched as her chest heaved while she did everything she could to steady her breathing.
“You haven’t been yourself for days now and it started when you got back from where you went to with Boss Enzo, you don’t expect me to believe you’re fine when you’re like this!”
Clara stomped towards me and picked my hand up, revealing the injury I had while I was chopping the onions because I’d gotten lost in thought and forgotten that I was still holding the knife.
“Look at this,” she said, her lips pressing together as she made her way to stand behind me and she pulled my hair to the side to look at the burn I’d gotten from the curling iron.
“Your body is filled with different kinds of bruises that you caused because you’ve been losing concentration!” She sighed before coming to stand in front of me.
“I know you’ve not been here for long but I know enough to know that you’re not the type to get easily distracted or lost in thought and even when the boss brought you here, you still didn’t act like you were imprisoned.”
“You went along with everything cheerily so seeing you hurt yourself whether on purpose or unintentionally bothers me more than you think.”
“So, MAEVE HAWTHORN, SPEAK NOW OR-”
“Fine,” I sighed, giving in but the moment I thought about talking about what had happened, I felt my stomach tighten as my heart sank deeper and deeper.
I looked up at Clara and she was expecting me to speak so much that I couldn’t hold back the smile that curled at the side of my lips.
It feels nice to know that I had someone in this house that cares about me like this.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about it.” I confessed and she nodded as if understanding even though I could still see her curiosity.
“Does it have something to do with the boss? Have you seen him since you got back? Does-”
“I never ever want to see him ever again!” I snapped, my teeth gritting as my hands began shaking, “He can die and rot in the pit of the deepest, hottest part of hell for all I care!”
“I never want to cross paths with him ever again so do not speak of him whenever you’re with me.” I added firmly before I could get a grip on myself.
“Something definitely happened with him,” Clara sighed, “you do know you can talk to me right, you can tell me anything, we’re best friends.” She urged and I smiled as I nodded.
She looked so concerned that I couldn’t find it in me to tell her that the only person I’d feel totally comfortable talking to about this kind of thing was Scarlett.
I needed my own best friend, I still wanted to cry in her arms and tell her about how I’d found my ex-boyfriend cheating on me, how my father had signed me off to a monster.
I miss my best friend so much.
“Enzo is a monster, let’s just leave it at that, I really don’t want to talk about it.” I finally said and I was glad when she didn’t push.
“Fine but let me know when you do want to get things off your chest, okay?” She added and I nodded in understanding.
Clara changed the conversation and soon, she left me alone to my thoughts. Checking my bedside clock, I knew it’s unlikely for Enzo to be home by this time and soon, I left my room too.
Peeking out the door, I wanted to be extra careful so as not to walk into him even though I haven’t been hearing his voice.
He’s probably out and about with Levi again like he’s been doing for the past four days.
Keeping my mind clear, I sighed as I continued walking down the long hallway and when my head collided with something really hard was when I knew I’d gotten lost in thought again.
Losing my footing, I staggered but just before I could hit the ground I felt a large hand wrap around me, holding my waist and keeping me from falling completely.
“Fuck,” I winced as I tried to help myself up, the smell of the cologne hit my nose and I felt shivers run down my spine.
My body stiffened and it was almost as though I’d seen something that immobilized me.
I didn’t need to open my eyes to know why, I don’t even want to see him right now and so without saying anything, I managed to walk right past him with my eyes closed.
“Excuse me.”