ENZO DE-LUCA
Seeing her so scared of me troubled me deeply and I felt completely uneasy. Groaning, my mind went back to when I’d tried to touch her and she moved away from me. I didn’t want to be worried but I couldn’t help it.
“I’m terrified of you.” The sound of that kept ringing like a bell in my head and the more I tried to forget about it, the harder it became.
What can I do? How do I get her to stop being so scared of me?
“You’re not a monster?” Her voice stopped me in my tracks as she scoffed and it was taking all that I had in me to not turn around and face her.
“That’s right,” she laughed and the sound of her soft footsteps made me think for a moment that she was walking towards me but I knew better.
“You’re worse than a monster,” she added with a sigh and I felt a sudden chillness in my stomach as my grip around the doorknob tightened.
“Goodnight, Enzo.” She finished. I wanted to keep walking but at the same time I wanted to turn around and tell her that I’m not the kind of person she really thinks I am.
I might be worse but that’s totally because I was made to be this person, I didn’t just wake up one day and choose to take pleasure in killing people.
Closing my eyes, I swallowed before making my way out of her room, her words haunting me and threatening never to let me go.
The weight of each word weighed on my heart, filling me with more dread than I thought I could ever be filled with as I made my way to my own room.
“Levi?” I called into the phone when the ringing sound on the other end of the call turned into a voice, “I’m done, could you send some men over there to clean up the mess?” I added.
“Roger that, I’ll call them now.” He responded, my hands froze and shook, I wanted to hang up but at the same time I wanted to talk to my best friend.
Why do I have to feel like this? Why am I bothered by her?
She can’t just come into my life and expect me to put some things on hold just because of her, I knew it was cruel but I wanted her to know what she was getting into.
It’s unfair that I, Enzo De-Luca, am the only one feeling like this. I only wanted to make an impact in her life, I didn’t intend to make her hate me; I wanted her to fucking ask questions.
“HELLO!” Levi’s loud voice pulled me out of my thoughts and the heaviness of it made my ear ache as I pulled the phone away for a while before returning it to my ear.
“You don’t have to be so loud, I can hear you.” I said as I set my phone on speaker before setting it on my bedside table.
“I highly doubt that,” he countered, “what was the last thing I said?” He added, asking me but the last thing I heard him say was the ‘Hello’ that almost pulled my heart right out of my chest from my throat.
“Fine, I wasn’t listening, what were you saying?” I inquired as I began pulling my shirt off and Levi sighed heavily.
“What’s the matter with you?” He asked and it was my turn to sigh. I thought about the question but I couldn’t think of the right answer.
I knew what was wrong with me but there’s no way what’s wrong with me is what I think is really wrong with me.
My mind is conflicted with a barrage of thoughts going round and round in it, one of which keeps telling me to go back to Maeve’s room even though I know she didn’t want to see me.
“Maeve.” I finally responded, having no idea what was supposed to come after I’d mentioned her name like that but Levi seemed to understand.
I could hear him smile even though it was over the phone and then everywhere became silent for a while as I undressed and got ready for a shower.
“Please, oh please, don’t tell me you’re undressing while I’m on the phone with you.” He said, his voice heavy with disgust and I couldn’t help but smile.
Levi had always known how to turn my bad day around, he and Yvette are the only people that knows just what to say whenever I was finding it difficult to get through.
“You want a picture?” I teased and Levi pretended to vomit before begging me not to defile him by sending him pictures of myself.
Laughing, the phone remained on the loud speaker while I went to shower and it didn’t take long for me to finish.
“So, Maeve Hawthorn?” He asked as soon as I stepped out of the shower and just the mere sound of her name was doing things to me.
“Wanna talk about it over drinks?” He added and that was when I realized that a drink with my best friend is probably what I need at this time.
“Sure, see you soon.” I responded before hanging up and with a heavy sigh, I changed into something more comfortable before heading out.
The cold air was chill but not as chilling as the thought of Maeve not wanting to see me or not wanting me to touch her.
It didn’t take long for me to get to our usual bar and as if he had been there all along, I made my way to our usual spot to see Levi waiting there with a drink already ordered.
“Yo,” I called to him as I grabbed a seat beside him, I felt like a fucking teenager having to deal with this stupid feelings for the first time.
Laying my head on the table, Levi stroked my hair like I was really a child, causing me to roll my eyes as I slapped his hand away from me.
“What’s the matter with you and Maeve?” He asked as he poured me a drink, “you know, if she has you, a Don, like this then it must be really fucking bad.” He added.
“It’s bad.” I muttered in response but it probably doesn’t count as a mutter when I have to say it a little louder because of the music.
“See? I might have been right all along, fuck might, I was right all along, Enzo, you’re down bad for this girl.” He was quick to point out but I shook my head.
There’s no way this feeling is love. It can’t be love, I’ve fallen in love once and it didn’t end well. The same thing can’t happen to me twice.
“I’m not in love with her,” I argued, “it’s different, I mean she’s interesting and everything about her just tickles my fancy.”
“She’s totally different from all the girls I’ve ever met, I mean, she doesn’t seem like the type that would bend her rules for me and that interests me a lot.”
“It makes me want to do things,” I paused as I sighed again, “that’s probably why, I’m probably just thrilled because I’ve never met a girl like her.” I finished.
“Really? That hurts a little, Enzo.” A familiar feminine voice behind me caused me to turn my head around and I hadn’t noticed she was around until now.
I must’ve been in a really bad shape if I didn’t take any note of my surroundings. Forcing a smile, I turned my head back towards Levi.
“Why is she here?” I asked, pointing towards Yvette who immediately had me in a headlock as Levi explained that she had invited herself and I raised an eyebrow.
“I happened to run into Levi and I’m part of the crew too, why are you acting like you’re about to cast me away?” She asked, finally releasing me as she turned to face me.
Tears had welled up in her eyes and she had that look that’s extremely difficult to say no to, “are you trying to get rid of me?” She added, her voice low and her apprehension evident.
“Stop that, it doesn’t suit you,” I laughed, patting her head and even though I knew she didn’t need it, assured her that I could never get rid of her.
“You’d claw your way back to us anyway so it’s no use trying to get rid of you.” I said and we all bursted out laughing. It felt nice to have all my worries behind me.
I tried as hard as I could to get my mind off Maeve by having a fun conversation with my friends but despite being with the most important people in my life, I still couldn’t stop thinking about her.
I wanted to go back home to her because I know really well that what she experienced in the basement must have scared her so much that she might not be able to sleep.
“Are you in a hurry? I can’t count how many times you’ve been checking your phone.” Yvette’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts and it wasn’t until then that I realized how much I’ve been checking my phone.
Shaking my head, I rubbed my temple and pinched the bridge of my nose hard as I tried to push the thoughts of Maeve to the back of my mind.
It wasn’t working, I couldn’t help but picture her radiant smile, her wide brown eyes looking up at me like she was a lost puppy was very vivid in my mind and I couldn’t shut it out.
I shouldn’t have taken her with me. I shouldn’t have gone to that extreme with her.
Am I really a monster? Is this really who I am?
A barrage of thoughts dumped themselves in my head and as I sorted through each one, I couldn’t find my answer.
“I need to leave.” I finally let out, grabbing my phone and car keys off the table before walking out of the club.
I didn’t need a soothsayer to tell me that Levi was following closely behind me, I could hear the sound of his footsteps and it wasn’t until I got to my car that I looked back.
“What’s wrong with you, man?” He questioned and the answer to that question was harder than I thought.
What really is wrong with me?
“I don’t know,” I finally responded as Levi closed the gap between us and I sighed, “I really don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I added, my voice lower than intended.
“I hate to hurt her, I hate seeing her in pain, Levi, I’ll kill for her,” I told him without thinking, “what do you call these feelings?” I asked and saw my best friend smile as he pulled me into him.
“I think it’s called love.”