ARLAN’S POV.
The sudden opening of my bedroom got me startled, forcing me to open my eyes. I titled my eyes to the direction of the door only to see Bridget.
“I’m sorry for disturbing you, I didn’t know you would be around by this time.”
My eyes travelled to the wall clock and I almost jumped on my feet. “How is it ten minutes pass noon and I’m still on bed?”
“I’ll come tidy your room later.” She said and excused herself without waiting for me to give her a response.
I quickly grabbed my phone and saw several missed calls. I was suppose to attend the antenatal care with Matilda but I had slept off.
“Matilda won’t let me off the hook,” I said knowing fully well she won’t let it slide.
I quickly dialed Matilda’s number, already rehearsing my apology. The phone rang and she picked up without saying a word.
“Matilda…”
She sighed. “I’m all ears.”
“I’m so sorry, Matilda,” I began, running my hand through my hair. “I overslept. It’s completely my fault, and I know I let you down.”
There was a long pause, and for a moment, I thought she’d hung up on me. Finally, she sighed. “Arlan, this isn’t just about me. It’s about our child. I can’t keep doing this alone.”
Her words hit me harder than I expected. Matilda was strong, but even she had her limits. I rubbed my temple, guilt gnawing at me. “I know, and I promise I’ll make it up to you. Are you still at the clinic? I can be there in twenty minutes.”
“I’m done here,” she said tersely. “You should come over. We need to talk about the baby.”
I noticed the seriousness in her tone. “Are you okay? Is the baby okay?” I asked, suddenly feeling nervous.
“You should come, Arlan.” She said in a tone of finality.
The line went dead before I could respond. I threw the phone on the bed and ran a hand through my messy hair.
**
When I got to Matilda’s apartment later that afternoon, the face she gave me increased my worry. She opened the door.
“Hi, Matilda…” I was saying but she turned abruptly after opening the door and didn’t say a word as she walked back to the living room, leaving me to close the door behind me.
“Matilda,” I started, taking a cautious step toward her. “I know I messed up today…”
“Can we talk about the most important issue at hand now?” Matilda asked.
“You’re scaring me, what’s going on?” I asked.
“I have gestational diabetes.” She revealed.
“What does that means?” I asked.
“Whatever it means, you should know it’s not good for the baby.” She replied.
Her words sent a jolt of panic through me. My breath seized for a moment, my mind racing to process what she had just said.
“Gestational diabetes?” I repeated. “How serious is it? What do we need to do?”
Matilda’s eyes turned teary. “Enough to lead to complications if it’s not managed, it could mean a more difficult delivery, or worse…” Her voice faltered, and she glanced away.
I quickly moved to sit next to her, placing a hand on her knee. “Hey, hey… we’ll handle this, okay? You’re not alone in this.”
She looked at me. “It’s not just about handling it, Arlan. This is going to require a lot of changes in diet, exercise, monitoring my blood sugar constantly. I’ll need to be extra careful about everything, and honestly…” She paused, letting out a shaky breath. “I’m scared. Scared that I’ll do something wrong, that it’ll hurt the baby.”
I swallowed hard. “You won’t have to go through this alone, Matilda. I’ll be here every step of the way. We’ll figure out the best care plan, talk to the doctors, do whatever it takes to keep you and the baby healthy. I promise.”
“So that brings me to this question, if you ever have to choose between the baby and I, who would you choose?” She asked, looking deep in my eyes.
I blinked my eyes at her sudden question. The question got me completely off balance as I didn’t see it coming. “Is that even a question? You already know your well-being is paramount to me. While I want the baby, if it ever comes to that I would choose you without thinking twice. The baby won’t be here without you anyways.”
Matilda shook her head. “If it ever comes to that, you have to choose the baby and let me go.” She said in a very serious that dictate her mind was made up.
Her words pierced through me like a blade, and I felt my mouth went dry. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, trying to gather my shattered thoughts.
I might not have amorous feelings towards Matilda but she had been my friend for six years and still counting, losing to the baby isn’t something I want.
“Matilda,” I began softly, looking up at her. “Do you really think I could live with the blame if I lose you this way? If something happened to you because of this? How could I raise a child without you? How could I even look at him knowing you sacrificed your life for him?”
“You’d have no choice,” she interrupted, her voice trembling. “I’ll take it as the punishment for my actions.”
Curiosity crept on my face. “Punishment for your actions, what do you mean by that?”
“Never mind,” She looked away before returning her gaze back at me. “If it comes down to it, the baby has to come first. Promise me, Arlan. Please.”
I stared at her, my heart pounding. Her mind was made up but mine wasn’t. “Matilda, I can’t promise you that. I can’t promise to make that kind of decision because it would be callous and devilish of me to be that selfish. Losing you or the baby-there is no version of this where I’m okay with either outcome.”
Her hands trembled as she clasped them together. “You think I want this? You think I want to ask you something like this? But I’m telling you, Arlan, if the doctors give you that choice, you have to pick the baby. That’s my decision, and you need to respect it.”
I felt a lump in my throat, and for a moment, I couldn’t speak. Finally, I stood up, pacing the room as I tried to keep my emotions in check.
“I don’t know how to do this,” I admitted, my voice strained. “I don’t know how to prepare myself for something like that. But I know one thing right now, you’re both here. And as long as that remain, I’m going to fight like hell to make sure you both stay that way.”
Matilda wiped a tear from her cheek, chuckling and her facial expression softening just a little. “I know this isn’t fair, Arlan. I know it’s too much to ask, but I need you to promise. For me.”
I turned to her, my heart breaking at the desperation in her eyes. “I’ll do everything I can to protect you and the baby, Matilda. That’s the only promise I can make. But you have to trust me. Trust that I’ll make the right choice if it ever comes to that, even if I can’t say the words you want to hear right now.”
She hesitated, searching my face for something. Then she nodded, though the worry in her eyes remained. “Okay but think about it.”
I knelt in front of her, taking her hands in mine. “We’re in this together. No matter what happens, we’ll face it as a team. You’re not alone, Matilda. I promise you that.”
She gave me a weak smile, her fingers tightening around mine. “Thank you for coming.”
“Thank you for not staying mad at me.” I replied and the both of us smiled.