Thump.
Thunk.
Thump.
Thunk.
I slammed my fist down on my desk in complete and utter irritation from this man-child, hissing, “Don’t you have your own company to run? What the hell are you doing in my office on a Tuesday morning?”
Benedict froze mid-swing with another pen sitting loosely between his fingers. He cocked his head side, feigning innocence. “But I’m visiting my friend?”
I frustratingly rubbed my circles against my temple, grumbling, “I need more coffee.”
Thump.
Unable to withstand his nonsense any longer, I abruptly stood up from my seat and stormed out of my own office, slamming the door behind me. I strode straight down the corridor toward the micro kitchen, exuding such a dark aura that all my employees immediately turned away in hopes of avoiding my wrath.
As I took a sharp turn into the micro kitchen, I faltered in my step when I saw the back of a familiar light-colored brunette standing next to the coffee machine. The anger simmering in my body instantly calmed down.
Ms. Belcalis turned around to look at me with a surprised expression. “D-Did you need something, Mr. Cordova?”
I shook my head as I walked closer to her, trying to ignore how she side-stepped me to keep some distance between us. “Just needed some coffee.”
Before I could open the cabinet to rummage through our several bags of coffee beans, a steaming cup of coffee was pushed in front of my face, taking me by surprise. I glanced down at the coffee in confusion and then at Ms. Belcalis, who had pink-tinted cheeks as she held out the cup to me.
“Y-you can have it. I l-I didn’t d-drink from it yet.”
I hesitantly accepted the cup. “Thank you, but didn’t you get this for yourself?”
“I-It’s alright. You’re m-much busier than me. I-I can always make m-myself another cup.” She lowered her eyes as she fiddled with her fingers behind her back.
I nodded appreciatively. Deciding that I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable any longer, I quietly excused myself and quickly made my way out of the kitchen.
I mindlessly sipped at the familiarly aromatic coffee as I made my way back to my office. Even after my night with Rose, a perfectly nice girl, I still couldn’t ignore how my chest fluttered at the mere sight of Ms. Belcalis.
I sighed as I opened the door back into my office. When I glanced around my office, I frowned in confusion at the sight of a missing body on my spare chair, the seat Benedict had originally been sitting on. Did he leave already?
My question was immediately answered when I heard a loud thud from behind my desk and a high-pitched howl in pain.
Shaking my head, I closed the door behind me and made my way behind my desk, only to find my man-child of a friend who was sitting on the floor and rubbing the back of his head in pain. He had yanked open all of my drawers and had piles of my once organized piles of paperwork scattered messily around him.
I clenched my fist, trying not to blow up at him. I lowly bit out, gritting my teeth, “What are you doing?”
He perked up at the sound of my voice and looked up at me with bright eyes, almost like a puppy, when his owners finally came up. Ignoring my question, he cheerily commented, “Your coffee smells so good. No wonder you were gone for so long.”
I rolled my eyes at his obvious change in topic and grunted, “Get up and put my shit back into its place.”
“No, no, no!” He scrambled around on the ground and held his arms protectively out in front of my desk and its haphazardly drawn-out drawers. “I needed to talk to you first.”
With plummeting levels of patience, I snapped, “About what?”
“About your date, of course!”
I eyed him incredulously. “Why do you need to know? Nothing interesting in particular happened.”
He exaggeratedly gasped, feigning the feeling of offense. “What do you mean nothing happened? How could you lie to me?”
“What on earth of your talking about? I’m not lying. Nothing happened. It was just dinner.”
He rummaged through my drawers and yanked out a little box with a clear lid. “Then, how do you explain-”
I immediately snatched the box out of his hands at the sight of a pair of familiar antique crystal pins and stuffed it into my pocket. Glaring at him, I snapped, “You shouldn’t touch what’s not yours.”
He held his hands up defensively. “Look, I didn’t know you’d get so riled up over it. I just wanted to know if it was for Mellisa’s daughter.”
“It’s not,” I mumbled as I walked across my office. I pulled out a safe from behind my bookshelf and typed in the passcode before tossing the pins inside and locking it.
“Then who’s it for?”
I stayed silent as I walked back to my desk and leaned down to gather up the scattered pieces of paper that Benedict had messily dumped onto the floor.
Paying no mind to my actions, Benedict continued, stroking his chin with a pretend thoughtful expression, “I know it’s not your mother. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have reacted like that, so I can assume it’s for some special lady in your life. But I also know that your icy cold heart would not know of such things like romantic feelings, so I am…”
His voice trailed off when he noticed how I reflexively stiffened at his last few words.
Trying to ignore him, I straightened out my papers and started filing the important paperwork back into its appropriate files. Yet, even though I wasn’t looking at him, I could practically feel his eyes burning a hole into me.
“Are you… are you actually in love with someone, Rafael?”
I pressed my lips into a thin line, not saying a single word in reply, but my silence was more than enough for him.
“I guess I’m still learning new things about you after 11 years of friendship.” He leaned back onto his heels with blown-away, wide eyes, giving a low whistle. “Is she cute?”
I nodded quietly.
“Smart?”
I nodded again.
“Knows who you are and doesn’t care?”
I nodded once again.
He rocked lightly on his heels as his lips dropped open in amazement. “Sounds like a keeper. Can I meet her?”
I shook my head.
He paused in his motion and sat up rigidly with a questioning expression. “Why not? I promise I’ll be serious and not act like a fool.”
I shook my head again. “She doesn’t know about my feelings, and…” I clenched my jaw as my grip tightened around my papers, trying to find the right words without sending myself down a heart-numbing hole again. “And she never will.”
He frowned and pushed, “Why not?”
I tried to ignore him, turning away from him to put the last of my papers back.
Based on the light creaking of my floor, Benedict stood up from his seat on the ground and walked closer to me. He tried again, “Rafael, why won’t you tell her?”
I continued to ignore him, pretending to rummage through my drawers in search of something that didn’t exist.
He placed a hand on my shoulder. “Look, I’m sure that she wouldn’t mind if-”
“Stop.”
He froze and hesitantly tried again, “Come on, Rafa-”
“I mean it, Benedict. She would never return my feelings even if I told her, so just forget about it.”
He flinched at my cold tone and pulled his hand back. “O-okay.” He backed off from me. “I’ll leave you alone, I guess.”
I didn’t make any move to turn toward him as he slowly walked toward my office door. I waited for the sound of a door opening, but it never came.
Instead, Benedict mumbled quietly from the doorway, “I still think you should just tell her. She’s the first one I’ve ever seen you show interest toward in all my years of knowing you. You never know, she might actually feel the same. Just… Just think about it, alright?”
Then, a familiar creak and slam of my door echoed through my office.
I sighed heavily as I dropped my face in my hands.
Benedict, if I didn’t think there was even an ounce of possibility that she may return my feelings, don’t you think I would’ve already told her? It is only because I know that she never will, that she’s already in a committed relationship, that I have to just forget about my rotten feelings.
Just a month and a half more.
Then I can return to my usual isolated and lonely life, one void of any unnecessary emotions. To return back to a heart that had always been meant to be left unmoved.