KASMINE.
The sheets tangled beneath us as we lay in each other’s arms. Thanks to the air conditioner in the room, my body temperature was beginning to regulate. I was feverishly hot after Kester ruined me.
His palm moved lazily up and down my back as I lay on his chest, my fingers absentmindedly tracing over the ridges of his muscles.
“I hope I wasn’t too hard on you, baby?” He asked in a gruff voice, and his question was almost laughable. Kester was anything but gentle. And he knew that.
“It’s nothing I couldn’t handle,” I replied, and his chest heaved with a deep sigh before he kissed my forehead.
“I’m sorry, love. You’ll get used to it.”
And that was supposed to make me feel better? That’s funny.
No matter how many times we fucked, I’d never get used to it. Kester was insatiable. Greedy. A man who didn’t just fuck-he devoured. He destroyed. He owned. And the worst part? I let him. I wanted him to.
I hadn’t even gotten my wolf yet. So, sometimes, when he fucked me, and his wolf slipped out and shared partial control, it usually sent me to the brink of death and back before he realized and shut him out. I wasn’t built to handle the force of him when he lost control, and he knew it.
But soon, I’ll get my wolf. And then, I’d finally know what it meant to be taken by a man who didn’t have to hold back.
I didn’t know if I should fear that day… or crave it.
I’ll get my mate as soon as I get my wolf, hopefully. But even at that, I’d let Kester fuck me one last time before I finally bear my mate’s mark, just to know how it feels to be taken by an ‘unhinged’ Kester.
I cleared my throat, contemplating if I should ask him why he reacted the way he did earlier, but I didn’t know if it was a good idea.
“Say it,” I heard him say, and I paused.
“Say what?” I asked, pretending I didn’t know what he meant.
“What’s on your mind. Say it.”
He always seemed to know me better than I even know myself. He knew when I had something to say, when I was sad, hiding something, lying… He knew me too well.
“Why did you shed a tear earlier? I mean… Did something happen?” My voice was cautious, too careful not to start up a conversation that might not be appreciated by him.
He was quiet for a while, still rubbing my back softly. It felt like I had pushed him somewhere deep, somewhere he didn’t like to go.
And I felt like if I said another word or pressed him even a little harder, he’d shut me out completely.
So, for a moment, I thought he wouldn’t answer me. But then, he took a deep breath and spoke.
“I don’t cry, Kasmine,” he said matter-of-factly.
I lifted my head slightly to look at him and found that his eyes were fixed on me, watching me intently.
“You did,” I murmured, my fingers brushing lightly over his jaw. “I saw it.”
He exhaled sharply through his nose, his grip tightening on my waist for half a second before relaxing again.
“I don’t cry,” he repeated. “Not for pain. Not for loss. Not for anything.” His thumb swept over my hip slowly and absentmindedly. “But tonight…” He looked away and paused.
I held my breath, waiting for him to continue because it felt like even breathing the wrong way might make him stop.
His throat bobbed with a slow swallow, and then-finally-he turned his head to meet my gaze again.
“I’ve never had this before,” he said barely above a whisper.
My brows furrowed slightly. “Had what?”
His eyes darkened slightly, searching mine as if the answer should be obvious.
“This,” he dragged his fingers down my spine. “You.”
My heart did something strange in my chest. A slow, twisting ache.
“You’ve had me before,” I pointed out softly.
His jaw clenched. “I know. But it just seems to get better… The things I feel for you.”
A shiver ran through me.
The way he was looking at me was raw. Open. Vulnerable in a way that he never allowed himself to be.
“Ever wondered why I had your belongings in my possession?” He asked, and I nodded.
“Yeah. But I never got the perfect chance to ask you about it.” I replied.
“You quiet the storm in me, Kasmine. You calm my demons and bring me peace when everything is in chaos… You make me…” He sighed, “You’re my life, Mine… And the thought of a world without you in it?” His jaw tightened. “I won’t even entertain it.” His eyes held mine, burning with something I wasn’t sure I could handle. I swallowed hard.
His words… I didn’t know what to say.
Because, what did you say when a man like Kester admitted that, for the first time in his life, he felt something he couldn’t name?
I opened my mouth to speak, but he spoke first before I had the chance.
“Would you like to watch the sunset? I heard it’s a beautiful view from here,” He asked, changing the topic immediately, “That’s why my mum bought this house.”
I stilled.
His mum?
This was a sensitive topic. His mother was a ghost in the family-never spoken of, never acknowledged. No stories, no fond memories, just silence. All we knew was that she had died. End of story.
Right now, having Kester, even as much as mentioning her, was a miracle, and I didn’t even know how to react.
“Your mum?” My voice barely came out. I was cautious, careful. Like stepping onto cracked ice.
“Yeah. She used to love the Maldives. She always came here to-” he hesitated, then let out a humorless chuckle, “‘-‘get some peace and quiet,’ she used to say. I never knew what that meant until…” He paused suddenly, and I felt his breathing change.
“Until… She died?” I asked hesitantly, lifting my head to meet his eyes.
His shoulders went rigid. His chest tightened beneath my palm. And when I lifted my gaze to his face, his eyes were no longer warm-they were burning with rage.
What is it about his mother that always does this to him?
“She stays dead to me. Even in my memories.” His voice was eerily calm, but it only made him more terrifying. The kind of calm that comes before a storm. “She has no place in my heart. My only regret is not being able to protect her… not being able to keep her safe.”
His hands curled into fists at his sides.
His face still had that chilling calm, but the energy around him was choking. I could feel the raw violence underneath his stillness, the quiet way his body coiled like he was seconds away from snapping.
I had to pull him back before he drowned in it.
“Hey,” I murmured, placing a hand on his chest. I rubbed slow circles over his skin, trying to ground him, trying to stop the way his breath was becoming too erratic. “It’s okay… Just breathe…”
I might not be able to handle an outburst from Kester right now. I couldn’t let him slide into his anger. “How about that sunset you talked about?”
***
Sunset in the Maldives was nothing short of breathtaking. The sky burned with shades of deep orange and violet, the reflection rippling across the endless blue. I snapped a few pictures, something I rarely did, and for the first time in forever, I posted on Instagram. Not because I wanted attention-but because the world deserved to see this.
The likes and comments poured in almost instantly. I tried to ignore them, but the small, giddy smile tugging at my lips wouldn’t fade. My fingers hovered over my phone as I stood by the railing at the back of the house, gazing down where the water lapped lazily against the veranda, almost brushing the back door. Tomorrow, I’ll go downstairs and snap again-feet in the water, waves kissing my skin, and posting for the world to see.
Kester stood behind me, caging me with his size, his hands resting on the rails, thereby trapping me between the rails and his body.
Heat…
It radiated from him, seeping through my thin dress, sinking into my skin like something forbidden and consuming.
Every now and then, he trailed kisses on my hair, my ears, my cheeks, everywhere he could.
This man practically worships me, and as thrilling as it felt, I was worried. By the time it would be time for our little sexcapades to come to an end, which isn’t going to be too long from now, I might not be able to find a man who would worship and ruin me at the same time the way Kester did.
He had set the standard too high for any other man.
Including Jake…
Jake was way too loving. He was innocent and overly soft on me. He wouldn’t even yell at me even if I were to spit on him in public. He was too sweet, and I feared his sweetness would never be enough for me anymore.
The thought made me realize I hadn’t called Jake as promised since I arrived. I gasped. He would have been dying of worry and anticipation.
I managed to turn around despite the tiny space that was almost not even there between Kester’s chest and my back. He was looking down at me intently and it made my stomach flutter.
He always looked at me like that. Like he was studying me, taking the whole of me in, memorizing every inch of me and imprinting in his memory.
I swallowed as I lifted my head so I could meet his gaze. My throat went dry as my eyes flickered over him, catching the ink that stretched across his arm, disappearing over his shoulder and down his back. My stomach clenched.
Gods help me.
Heat surged between my thighs.
I was damned.
He looked too gorgeous to be real. Too perfect, it almost hurt.
Sometimes, I wished he wasn’t my brother.
If things were different, I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes to him if he were to ask me to be his. But unfortunately, that would never happen. Not in our society.
“Going somewhere?” He asked, flashing me a ghost of a smile.
“Ahm… Yes. I just… I mean, the sunset is so beautiful, Kester.” I smiled, “I’d love to see it again tomorrow.”
“Of course you will, baby.” He replied but was still not moving out of the way.
A prickling unease slithered up my spine.
“Can I use the bathroom?” I gestured to the door, my fingers curling slightly, betraying my nerves.
He didn’t look at the door. He didn’t even pretend to consider it. His gaze dipped instead, trailing down to where my thighs clenched beneath my dress.
My eyes shifted from his eyes to his strong, veiny hands which sent moisture gathering in places it shouldn’t.
“You only just had a shower, Mine. Unless you want to go in for other reasons; otherwise, the fresh air here is to kill for,” He said with all the softness in his voice, but his eyes said otherwise.
Something was wrong.
“What’s wrong, Kester?” I asked, already feeling my heartbeat escalating. Something tells me that whatever this was had something to do with him being displeased with me.
Had he found my birth control pills? But it was… Oh, shit. I had only kept it in my handbag. Had he found it?
I opened my mouth to speak again when he put a hand in the pocket of his sweatpants and brought out something, holding it up above my head.
“It wouldn’t stop ringing, baby.” He said ever so casually, and my lungs seized immediately.
My gaze locked onto the device in his palm, my mouth suddenly too dry to speak.
It was my phone… My secret phone.
How the hell did he find it?
“You are quite the stubborn one, aren’t you, baby?” His voice was too damn cold. The kind of cold that burned.