“Lima, what do you want to drink?” Jackson asked, as he sat alone with Lima now.
Maya and Elk had gone somewhere else, and Rish had joined Levi on the dance floor.
He wanted to use this as an opportunity to chat a bit because, as he had talked with Maya before, he was sure there was a lot he needed to discuss, or at least a little, with Lima.
“You look different today. Is there something you want from me? You trying to talk or offer me a drink doesn’t match your usual behaviour, Jackson,” Lima was a bit taken aback.
At first, she thought he was joking when he said he would buy her a drink, but now it seemed like a different case.
He clearly initiated a conversation with her. It had been so many years since she had rejected him and he had accepted it; not once had he tried to hold a conversation with her since.
She still remembered how easily the rejection went, though she thought it wouldn’t hurt, but it did.
After that, she was never able to find a mate, because she was stuck in this pack, and secondly, she didn’t think she wanted one.
Rejecting Jackson wasn’t hard, because first, he was a werewolf, so she didn’t want to be mated with a wolf. Secondly, he had clearly not moved on from his late wife.
Maybe that was the part she was a bit jealous of, which made the rejection easier.
On the other hand, she knew he had recently lost his wife at that time, but she was just a bit upset by the fact that not even once had he tried to make things work out.
It wasn’t like she never wanted to have a mate; like anyone else, she always wanted a family and a partner.
And having a werewolf mate, somehow she would have let that slip.
What she wasn’t able to let go of was being someone’s second choice mate, someone who would never love her.
Which is why rejection seemed easy to her. It hurt, but at least for the time being, if she had accepted Jackson, her whole life would have been filled with unnecessary pain she never wanted to gather.
“Lima, I’m talking to you. What are you doing?” Jackson leaned close to her ear and spoke, as the music was loud and she wasn’t replying at all.
Lima immediately backed away. “I’m fine with whatever drink you want to buy.”
Jackson nodded, a slight frown creasing his brow. He turned to the bartender and ordered two drinks, then leaned against the bar, facing Lima.
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said, his voice low but audible over the music. “I just… I think we need to talk.”
Lima’s heart raced, but she kept her expression neutral. “Talk about what, Jackson? We haven’t had a real conversation in years.”
The bartender slid their drinks across the counter. Jackson took a sip from his glass before responding, “That’s exactly why we need to talk. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I realise I’ve made mistakes.”
Lima raised an eyebrow, taking a small sip of her own drink. The sweet, fruity taste did little to calm her nerves. “Mistakes? That’s a broad term.”
Jackson sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I know. Look, I… I never properly apologised for how I treated you after you rejected me. I was hurt, yes, but that’s no excuse for shutting you out completely.”
Lima’s grip tightened on her glass. She hadn’t expected this conversation, not after all this time. “It’s in the past, Jackson. We’ve both moved on, haven’t we?”
“Have we?” Jackson’s eyes met hers, searching. “Because I’m not sure I have. And I’m starting to wonder if you have either.”
The music seemed to fade into the background as Lima struggled to find a response. Years of buried emotions threatened to surface, but she fought to keep them at bay.
“What are you trying to say?” she finally managed, her voice barely above a whisper. Still, he could hear it over the loud music due to his sharp senses.
“I know I was wrong, but I was grieving for my dead wife, who was also my mate. You can understand that, right? It’s not like I hated you; I just hated the fact that I was in pain and you rejected me so easily, as if nothing mattered,” Jackson said, sipping from his glass.
A lump stuck in Lima’s throat. “I never had a mate, so how would I know? Rejection seemed like the best option, rather than forcing you or letting you act upon your grief, making me your wife’s replacement. I never wanted to be someone’s substitute, so it was better this way.”
“When did I say that? Why would I make you a substitute for anyone?”
Lima took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. “You didn’t have to say it, Jackson. It was clear in your actions, in your eyes. You were looking for comfort, not love.”
Jackson set his glass down, his expression pained. “I… I didn’t realise that’s how you saw it. I admit, I was a mess back then. But Lima, you were never just a substitute to me.”
She scoffed, but there was no real heat behind it. “Then what was I? Because from where I stood, it felt like you were trying to fill a void, not build something new.”
“You’re right,” Jackson said softly, surprising her. “I was trying to fill a void. But not in the way you think. I was trying to find a reason to keep living, to move forward. And when you rejected me, it felt like losing that last chance.”
Lima’s eyes widened slightly. She’d never considered that perspective before. “I… I didn’t know.”
Jackson nodded, his gaze fixed on the bar counter. “I handled it all wrong. Instead of explaining, instead of giving us both time to heal, I shut down. And I’ve regretted it ever since.”
A moment of silence passed between them, filled only by the pulsing beat of the music around them. Lima found herself at a loss for words, years of assumptions and hurt being challenged.
“So why now?” she finally asked. “Why bring this up after all this time?”