I’d never been more nervous in my life. I’ve probably said that already a few times during this story, but it was definitely true again. My leg was bouncing as I tried to control my breathing in the visitor’s locker room.
I felt more than saw Mitch sit down next to me. “Cindy, hey.”
I looked up at her, her blue eyes focused with competitive fire. “Hey.”
“We got this. You and me, together. Right?”
“Yeah.” I nodded, probably a little too fast.
“Good. What’s on your shirt?”
“Huh?” My brow furrowed, not following. Mitch reached out and touched the embroidered letter on my top, just over my breasts.
“That. What is it?”
“It’s the Georgia ‘G’.”
“That’s right. And it’s not a joke, and it’s not a mistake. You earned it, because you are a damn fine tennis player. And we’re going to go out and show them that. Understood, partner?”
She was wearing a wicked grin on her face, and it made me feel better immediately. Yeah. We were going to do this.
It turned out she was absolutely correct, the two of us were dominant, moving together as one on the court. We covered each other’s lines, anticipated each other’s movements, and we only dropped a single game. Overall the team took all three doubles sets.
I sat with Mitch as everyone prepared for the singles matches. Now it was Mitch’s leg bouncing with nervous energy, but her eyes were focused, and she took the court at a run. I moved up to the stands, away from the rest of the team and coaches. I wanted to be able to concentrate.
Mitch started with the serve. I watched as she bounced the ball, her powerful body coiling gracefully before striking, driving the ball past her opponent. She took another ball, stepped to the other side of the court, and did it again.
In a word, she was magnificent. I couldn’t look away, seeing her move around the court, the raw power of her body and game. Her opponent couldn’t come close to handling that power, and Mitch won in straight sets.
After match point Mitch raised her arms in triumph. I’d lost track of the score just watching her. That was very unlike me, and I gave myself a shake before heading back down to the court.
Mitch was beaming. I was pulled towards her like a magnet, and going into her embrace was the only thing I wanted. She laughed as I burrowed my head into her shoulder, and I held on for just a moment longer than I should have. It was just hard to let go.
“You were great Michelle. That was amazing.”
She stepped away, creating some space. “It felt good. What’d you think? How did I play?”
“You were too much for her. She couldn’t hit with you.” I couldn’t help smiling at her.
“I know, so I tried to think how you would handle that. I gave myself more margin and tried to keep the power high.” I could see the earnestness in her face. “Was that right?” She really wanted me to approve.
“Yeah, it was perfect.”
We sat on the side of Carrie’s match, watching as she dealt with her counter-punching opponent. It took forever, but Carrie was able to pull through in two very close sets, and our team ended up taking a clean sweep back onto the bus home.
It was a little rowdy, and I don’t usually go for that sort of thing. Me loosening up is not a pretty picture. Like Willow said on Buffy, wild on me equals spazz. So instead I sat in the back and kind of basked in the happiness of my teammates. After forty-five minutes or so things started to quiet down, and Mitch plopped herself into the seat next to me.
“So, good day?”
I smiled at her. “Yeah. It was. You played great.”
“We both did, partner. So, I was thinking, how do we switch it up some? I mean, people are going to start to get tape on us, and we should be ready, y’know, for when they react.”
“Look at you, talking strategy. I thought it was just,” I lowered my voice to caveman territory, “‘Mitch hit ball.'”
“Hey, I’m growing here. Have some respect.” She smiled at me. God, she was so pretty, and those eyes, they were mesmerizing. How could she not have someone?
“You okay, Spencer?”
“No, yeah, I’m fine. Yeah. I tend to poach more when you serve in the deuce court, so that’s something.” We continued to talk shop for the next hour until I let go a huge yawn in the middle of a sentence.
“Am I boring you, Cindy?”
I gave an embarrassed shrug. “No, I didn’t get much sleep last night. But if I fall asleep in this seat I’m going to get a crick in my neck.”
“You could sleep on my shoulder.” Mitch popped her eyebrows at me a couple of times, making me giggle.
“No, I’ll be okay. Thanks though.” I leaned back and looked out the window while Mitch put in a pair of earbuds. I started to nod off, but it really wasn’t comfortable. After a while I readjusted, moaning slightly as I tried to stretch. Mitch didn’t say anything, instead just lifting the armrest between us and putting her arm around me. I snuggled into her shoulder. I was crazy tired, and she was so comfy, and the next thing I knew she was shaking me gently awake.
“Cindy, hey, we’re back on campus.”
I opened my eyes. It had gotten dark, and the streetlamps flickered by as we went slowly down the road. I looked at my phone. It was just after one o’clock as the bus pulled up to an upper class dorm. The rest of the team piled off, taking their bags with them, leaving just the coaches, Carrie, Mitch and me.
“Do we get off here?” I yawned.
Coach Holiday smiled, which was a little weird. “No Spencer. We’ll take you to your dorm. Or at least closer.”
“Okay.” I leaned back against Mitch, closing my eyes for a second before they snapped open and I sat up. The bus was moving again, and Mitch pulled her arm away. “God, was I sleeping on you?”
“Yeah.”
I grimaced. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.”
I figured she was going to be giving one of her patented mischievous looks, but if anything she looked mildly embarrassed. I was probably misreading it because it was late. Mitch didn’t get embarrassed.
***
I let myself sleep in on Sunday, ignoring calls from both Ethan and my brother. I finally responded to a text from Mitch.
Mitch — Hey, I got pizza and incomprehensible math problems in my dorm room.
I smiled and shook my head. I didn’t want to talk to my family, and I really didn’t want to see Ethan right now. I did want to be with my best friend, though. Even if she didn’t know a logarithm from a differential.
Me — Okay, I’ll be over in an hour.
As I stood in the shower I wondered how in the world I’d gotten to the point that the only place I felt happy and safe was in the dorm room of a butch lesbian, even if she was the most interesting person I’d ever met.
Mitch was true to her word, and we made our way through a large pepperoni and mushroom along with a passel of Math problems. After that there was Buffy. I was sitting next to Mitch, remembering how lovely it had been leaning against her on the bus. Would it be so wrong? It didn’t mean anything, did it?
Mitch paused the show. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah, just tired.”
“We can turn it off.”
God, the one thing I knew was that I didn’t want to leave. “No, um, I want to finish the episode.”
Mitch reached over and tucked a strand of my blonde hair behind my ear. “Okay. You know, my shoulder’s always available to my friends.”
I smiled. How had she known that’s what I’d been thinking? I didn’t pass up the offer. Her arm felt so good around me.
***
The season continued, and what I most looked forward to were the overnight road trips. Mitch was so much fun to be around, and we always stayed up talking late into the night in our rooms.
I was seeing less and less of Ethan. I’d met with the Nurse Practitioner on campus and managed somehow to explain to her what was going on. She checked my estrogen levels to be sure we weren’t dealing with early menopause, which she said would be extremely rare at my age. It all came back normal, making me breathe easier. She asked me a lot of the same questions Mitch had. And the more I tried to convince everyone that I was attracted to Ethan, the less I believed it myself.
“So what are you going to do?” Mitch put her hand under her chin, looking at me across the space between the beds in our hotel room.
“It’s not getting any better. And he isn’t calling as much.”
“So you used what she gave you?”
“Yeah. It’s just basically prescription strength versions of the stuff I was already using. And it helps about the same.”
“Cindy, you should just break up with him.” I searched her eyes for ulterior motives, but I couldn’t see any. She’d never liked Ethan, I knew that, but she was always supportive of me. “You’re not happy, he’s not happy.”
“Mitch…”
“Okay, just humor me. Just for a second. Close your eyes.” I lay back, and did as she asked. “Think about Ethan.”
“Okay.”
“How do you feel? Truth.”
“Nervous. Scared. Afraid.”
“Okay. Afraid why?”