67

ALEX
I hung back for a bit, desperately trying to get myself-and my breathing-under control before I followed Laura into the car, but it was all fucking pointless because the second I joined her, I lost my composure.
When she gave me her address, I wanted to beg her to keep talking because I’d missed her.
I’d missed her voice, I’d missed her scent, I’d missed how I felt when I was with her. Hell, I’d missed the pleasure of merely looking at her. But I couldn’t even tell her that now because I’d lost the right to.
Every single second of every single minute of every single hour of every single day since she’d left me, I’d thought of her. I’d told myself that even if she wouldn’t forgive me right away, it would appease something in me if I could just see her. Maybe then my heart wouldn’t feel so fucking hollow.
Oh, how terribly wrong I was.
It fucking killed me that she was so close to me yet she might as well have been a thousand miles away because I couldn’t touch her. Looking at her, knowing that she wasn’t mine anymore hurt more than words would ever be able to describe.
Her form appeared stiff as she stared out the window. I knew Laura well enough to assume that she wasn’t really watching the scenery. She just didn’t want to look at me and that hurt.
Her profile appeared calm, despite what she’d been through today. Every single time I thought about it, I wanted to burn the whole fucking world to the ground. I’d never felt more violent in my entire life.
When I’d walked into that room and found Laura handcuffed to that chair looking so small and terrified with those tears streaming down her face, I’d known the true meaning of fear.
I’d thought that he’d hurt her, and my need to get her to safety had overridden the urge to kill the idiot. When I’d confirmed that both her and the baby were perfectly fine, I’d gone back in and given the man a piece of my mind-with my fists.
My shoes might have also had an input.
“You can drop me off here.” Laura’s soft voice drifted into my ears, jerking me out of my thoughts.
Not one single bone in my body was willing as I pulled the car off the road and parked. I wasn’t ready to let her out of my sight. Not just because I craved her with every fiber of my being but also after the huge scare today.
I couldn’t stop thinking about what could have happened had Hunter not been there at that particular moment. What if I hadn’t hired Hunter? What if we’d been too late?
There were so many what ifs, I was going to drive myself crazy thinking about them.
But damn it, I could have lost her. And now I was supposed to just let her go again?
Listening to her statement to the police, I’d gathered that the man was her neighbor. All this time we’d been searching the whole fucking New York City, the idiot had been living in the same building as her.
Even though he had been apprehended now, I still didn’t feel safe. Fuck knew how many of those guys were loitering around, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce.
Thinking about the possibilities of all that could go wrong threatened to give me a brain aneurysm.
Laura’s hand went to the door handle to open it and panic gripped me. I couldn’t let her leave. I had no idea when I was going to see her again.
I acted on pure instinct, stopping her with an arm on her thigh. The moment what I’d just done registered in my head, I withdrew quickly, shrinking back against my seat, because fuck, the touch had burned as if there wasn’t a layer of clothing between us.
She turned to me wide-eyed, and I cursed softly. I kept forgetting that I didn’t get the right to touch her anymore.
Raking a hand through my hair in frustration, I focused on the steering wheel because it was safer to look at. She was staring at me, waiting for me to say what I wanted to.
In the end, I chickened out.
“When are you coming back to New York?”
She lifted a brow in surprise, no doubt at my audacity. “Frankly, I don’t think that’s any of your business.” Then her hand went to the door again and panic gripped me-at the thought that she was going to leave and I’d have to go back to the miserable, hollow shell that was my life without her.
I couldn’t let her leave.
I just couldn’t.
“I miss you,” I blurted out.
She froze. I froze.
The silence that accompanied my words was so fucking loud, it was deafening. Still, I didn’t regret uttering the words. They were the painful truth, after all.
What I dreaded was her reply. It couldn’t be anything good. Not after what I’d done.
But whatever her reply was, I’d take it. I’d pick that over this cold indifference she was shoveling my way in a heartbeat. She’d barely looked at me. Did she hate me now?
Had she moved on?
She was still facing the door when she said, “I don’t want to see you again.”
Fresh pain pierced through my chest and hands tightened around the steering wheel. “You don’t mean that.”
“I’ve never meant anything more. Derrick is now in police custody so there’s no need for Hunter to follow me around anymore.” A pause. “There’s no need for me to see you anymore.”
Oh, God. She really meant it.
I removed my hands from the steering wheel, rubbed them on my pants because they were suddenly sweaty despite the air conditioning, placed them back on the steering then dragged them down my face.
I was so fucking restless.
“Laura, I’m sorry-”
“I don’t care.”
Hell, what could I say to get her to forgive me? I refused to accept that this was the end for us. Because if it was, then it might as well be the end of my fucking life because I couldn’t go back to living without her.
I didn’t know how to.
In a desperate bid to get her to stay, I said, “I’m calling off the engagement.” It was later I realized that might have been the worst thing to say because next thing, she was stepping out of the car.
“Good for you,” she muttered then she slammed the door.
Fuck.
Hurrying out of the car, I ran until I was standing in front of her, blocking her path. “Please just give me five minutes,” I begged. “Please.”
She needed to know the truth. That despite the way Claire had wanted it to look, this engagement wasn’t really all that. But she wouldn’t even look at me, much less talk.
“I’m not interested in whatever you have to say.” Her words were curt, sharp, and they cut right through me, cleaving me in half.
I was walking backwards now. She’d sidestep me and I’d jump onto my path. After the day she’d had, I really didn’t want to be stressing her like this, but I needed her to look at me.
“Get out of my way,” she snapped and I did.
Not because she’d yelled at me to, but because I heard the sound of a door opening. I turned around and saw a petite woman walk out into the front porch.
I knew instantly she was Laura’s mother.
She stared at me with a mix of surprise and an intensity that had me tugging on the collar of my shirt. I wasn’t even aware I’d taken a step back until I realized that the distance between me and Laura and lengthened.
I expected her to turn around and maybe yell at me one more time. Except that she simply climbed up the steps leading to the house and disappeared inside.
Quietly, I retreated to my car, hating every single second of it but knowing that I had to do it anyway because today wasn’t the day I spoke to her mother.
It just wasn’t.