“Like fire?”
“Like fire.” I nodded. She wasn’t making fun of me. She just seemed to be really fixated on the silly, little, cutesy analogy I used.
“Ellie…” There was so much emotion in the way she was looking at me. “Wanna do more tonight?”
“Yeah, of course, baby.” My heart was racing. She was gazing at me as if I did something special. I couldn’t pinpoint what it was though. “Only if you’re ready,” I reminded her softly. “I got a little carried away.” I shamelessly glanced at the wet spot on her jeans. “But we can just keep making out again, I promise.”
“Is it okay if I just touch you though?”
She didn’t say it explicitly, but I knew she was really asking me if I would’ve been okay with not touching her. Just like how things were during the last stage of our friends-with-benefits situation. It hurt. The request made me internally question if we were really making as much progress as I thought.
“Of course, anything you want.”
I’d promised her that she was the one going to call the shots. I couldn’t go back on that promise. Not even if what she wanted made my heart feel sore. She led me to her bed where she quickly removed all of my clothes. She took her top and pants off but kept her bra and thong on. I was just going to let myself drown in the amazing view and what she wanted to do to me. I postponed the overthinking for later.
She didn’t start out slow, she dove right in. Her tongue went straight to my pussy. And I rapidly got lost in the pleasure she was giving me. She sucked on my clit and licked at my dripping folds. Then she began fucking me with two of her long fingers, deep and hard. She was doing everything with so much intensity, so much fervor, so much passion, it made my eyes roll to the back of my head.
After I came, I pulled her up, so we were face-to-face. I brought my lips near hers, but I wanted her to be the one to close the gap. My eyes shut in pure relief when she did.
The kiss was rough and frenzied, but it still sent much-needed comfort to my heart. Without breaking our kiss, she traced her fingers down my body and pushed them back inside me. Despite the lengthy hiatus, she remembered exactly what I liked during sex. I couldn’t stop screaming her name even when she begged me to keep it down because she liked her neighbors (as if it wasn’t her fault I was making so much noise).
She made me come three more times before finally telling me she’d let me get ready for bed. Although it really bothered me that I couldn’t return the favor, I took solace in the fact that unlike how things were before, she had no problems kissing me and I wouldn’t be ending the night alone in my room.
. . .
If I were a passive lover, Hannah could’ve kept doing whatever she wanted without issue. I knew I was extremely lucky to be coming as often as I did… As hard as I did. But the overwhelming desire to make her feel good was driving me crazy. Each time I asked her if maybe I could do more for her, she replied with a soft ‘no.’
I never pushed her. I just reassured myself that she’d be ready at some point, but even if that were the case, I still didn’t understand why she was refusing to let me give her the relief that she clearly needed. I knew that she wasn’t the opposite of a ‘pillow queen.’ So, the fact that she was denying herself the pleasure I intensely, desperately, urgently wanted to give her made no sense to me.
“Oh my god,” I groaned up at the ceiling. I was sitting on Hannah’s face, grinding myself against her velvet tongue. I was gripping my bed’s headboard so tightly, my knuckles were bone-white. Each time I tried to carry more of my weight, she’d pull me back down to make sure I was firmly planted on her face. She seriously could’ve taught a class on topping from the bottom. She was an expert at it.
She began to tug on my hips, guiding me to buck against her face. After a few minutes of pure pleasure, she stilled my movements, so she could take over completely. She wrapped her soft lips around my clit as her tongue swiped across it over and over again. I felt myself gushing. Her cheeks and chin were definitely coated with my juices. She moved her mouth and stuck her tongue through my opening as deep as it would go. I climaxed with a deafening scream (I didn’t care about my neighbors). I fell backward, my head landing close to the foot of the bed.
She immediately crawled up my body to join me on the opposite end of the bedspread. Her tongue licked as much of my skin as possible as she made her way to her destination. She kissed me deeply and tasting myself on her tongue just made me want to feast on her even more. She reached between our bodies to cup my pussy again, her fingers gently stroking my folds.
“How are you still in the mood?” I asked with a light laugh. “Give me like three minutes, that last one was like two orgasms back-to-back.”
“Babe, I already told you this…” She grinned. And her smile was just so beautiful, so genuine, so pure, seeing it made me feel unbelievably lucky. “I’m always in the mood to fuck you.”
“Same.” I pulled her face to mine. I roughly kissed away the apology before it could leave her lips. I would’ve waited as long as she needed me to. No matter how much time it took, I would’ve still been in the mood to fuck her when she was finally ready to let me.
. . .
Another thing that really comforted me was that despite the return of sex in our relationship, the cute dates didn’t stop. The places we visited didn’t dwindle down to just our apartments like it did before. One more bonus of us ‘half sleeping’ together was that we were basically spending every night with each other. I slept the most contentedly, blissfully, soundly beside her. Which was amazing because sleeping enough had always been an issue for me.
I wasn’t sure when I’d started doing it, but all my plans were suddenly readjusted to fit Hannah.
Dream trip to Europe? Used to be backpacking adventures, now it was wine-tasting and long hotel stays where we could waste entire days in bed. Dream car? Used to be a light blue, two-seater sports car, now it was a practical mini SUV for random road trips around the country. Dream house? Used to be the ‘Ellie Mansion’ (which had way, way too many rooms), now it was anywhere Hannah would’ve been willing to call her home, too.
I wanted her to be the one to give shape to the rest of my days.
Spending the rest of my life loving her was the outline, everything else just had to fit within those contours.
. . .
We were at a hip gay bar I hadn’t been to before. I was finally meeting five of Hannah’s closest friends. One of them was moving out of state and they wanted one last hurrah together. The cautious looks they’d flashed me as Hannah introduced me to each one of them served as confirmation that they all already knew who I was.
They knew what had happened-all the awful things I’d said and done. They didn’t make me feel unwanted, uncomfortable or unwelcome though. In fact, they were all going out of their way to make sure I was having a good time. And despite my uneasiness about whether or not they thought I was right for Hannah, I was enjoying myself in their company.
And I was definitely enjoying all of the embarrassing Hannah anecdotes they were relaying despite her (cute) threats about murdering them if they didn’t shut up.
We were all sitting around a large table. Instead of buying individual drinks, the six of them took turns heading to the bar to order rounds for the entire group. I wasn’t surprised that they were all so witty and interesting, birds of the same feather and all that. Their conversations flowed easily, full of well-timed jokes and teasing quips.
Theirs was obviously a very tight group with a lot of history. I’d quickly noticed that Hannah drank a lot less than the rest of them. Which made sense given that she was such a lightweight (she was adorable when she was drunk though). As the newcomer, they made sure that I always had a drink in my hand. And before I knew it, I’d already drunk more than I was planning to.
I wasn’t drunk yet, but I knew I would’ve surely been wasted by the end of the night if we kept drinking at the pace that we were. I was holding Hannah’s hand on my lap. She was already sitting right beside me, our chairs were even touching. But illogically, I wanted her to find a way to get even closer. I honestly would’ve pulled her over to sit on my lap if I didn’t care about making a good first impression.
It was her turn to order and pay for a round. I frowned when she stood up and let go of my hand. She rolled her eyes at my crestfallen expression but planted a quick kiss on my lips, causing her friends to tease us. Two of them got up to go to the restroom and I tagged along.
I glanced at Hannah on the way and since it was crowded, she was still trying to get a bartender’s attention. When we got back to the bar area, I noticed that she wasn’t sitting at the table yet. My eyes landed on her talking to a raven-haired woman by the bar.
I rushed over. I’d never been possessive, but I’d also never been in love before. Sue me. I wrapped an arm around Hannah’s waist from behind. She jumped but instantly relaxed when she realized it was me.
“Hi, what’s up?” I icily asked the woman talking to her. I wouldn’t have called the stranger ugly or unattractive, but I knew she wasn’t Hannah’s type… How did I know that? Because I was Hannah’s type.
“Just trying to make friends,” she replied with a pleasant grin. “Hey, I’m-“