That has been a fight and a half. Kitten wanted to stop using birth control last September. After many conversations and arguments, including me pointing out she could be writing final exams eight months pregnant, which would be unpleasant, she agreed to wait until school was almost over. March 1 was her next appointment. She was skipping it, so we were soon off to the races.
“So she wants to blow off some steam?” I said.
Meg huffed, so no.
“Yes, but she’s young and hot. She has an exhibitionist streak. She’s still sexually curious. And a beautiful, confident woman has flattered her, told her she’s sexy and should go to a club filled with other sexy people.
“Next year she might be a married mom working a job. I know you’re determined to make sure things don’t settle into a routine. And Kit is smart enough to know what she’s getting into by marrying and starting a family so young. But right now, she loves you, trusts you to protect her, so she wants to see what the big deal is.
“If you relax and get your head out of your ass, you might even have some fun. There are going to be a lot of very envious men and women at that club that night. I mean, she’s well out of your league,” Meg said, smirking.
“Thank God for my best friend,” I said, trying to drip as much sarcasm as I could into the response. As was often the case with Meg, she just chose to ignore it.
“I know. If not for me you’d probably find a way to fuck this up,” she said.
I gave her what passed for an annoyed look. She ignored it and focused on her salad. She also had so much time; she had a meeting in 45 minutes she couldn’t miss.
“Have you thought about joining us?” I said. “July is a long way off.”
Now it was my turn to be on the receiving end of daggers. She slowly finished chewing her mouthful of salad.
“I’m a sexual camel, my friend. I went years before last summer. I’ve got enough to get me through to July,” she said. I very nearly spit my sandwich across the table at her, which got her to laugh, if nothing else.
“Besides, Kit asked the same thing and I already declined. You’ll both be fine. I’ve heard of the club and it’s not sleazy or anything. Talk to Rachelle if you have any questions before going,” she said.
“We’re seeing her in two weeks for a…. supply run,” I said. “I’ll find a few minutes to talk to her alone.”
“And hey, I don’t think she’s Machevelian enough to plan it that way, but it’s been a distraction for you, hasn’t it?”
I paused mid-bite and put down my sandwich.
“Son of a bitch,” I said. She was right. I’d been so distracted by this I’d spent no time obsessing about my mom.
We finished demolishing our food and Meg glanced at her phone, her way of saying we needed to get going. Besides, public servants were eyeing our table and it would get ugly if we didn’t move along in a courteous Canadian way.
As we were walking back to her office, I thanked her again for the advice.
“Name your first kid or something after me,” she said.
“Well, you’re going to be the kid’s godmother, obviously,” I said.
That actually got Meg to stop dead in her tracks and look at me. I could tell she was touched that we’d thought that far ahead and already decided. She shook her head and then turned away to compose herself.
By the time she turned around, she was back to her normal self.
“Thanks, she said. Then added, “Look I’m flattered to be its godmother; just make sure the both of you don’t die. I have no idea how to take care of a kid.”
I laughed. “We’ll do our best not to die.”
***
(2 weeks later. March)
Just as I was opening the door to Kitten’s apartment, I got her text. “Running late. Find a place to hang out. Should be there in 15 minutes.” It was her way of saying don’t got into the apartment without me, about 10 seconds too late.
I walked in and there was Kris in a cut-off t-shirt and sweatpants. She was drinking milk straight from the carton and I would bet all the money in my wallet that she hadn’t paid for it.
If Kitten was frustrated with Kris, I had reached the point of viewing her as a science experiment. Kitten and I were likely going to have kids. They could grow up and become exactly like Kris; beautiful, somewhat smart, and utterly directionless with no clue how to find one. How could I help her find one?
I viewed her as a wayward child and certainly not as clever or focused as her friend. Her view of me had downgraded from curiosity, to pervert, to a huge pain in her ass. The idea of having to spend 15 minutes making small talk waiting for Kitten filled me with dread. I sighed internally and walked in.
“She’s not here,” Kris said.
“I know. I just got a text letting me know she’s running late,” I said. I went over to the small kitchenette and grabbed a piece of fruit. Kris flopped on the couch and looked at her phone. I sat at the kitchen table and did the same. Maybe I’d get lucky and spend 15 awkward minutes of quiet as we stared at our phones. It occurred to me we’d never actually been alone together.
“I should be going with you tomorrow night. I can’t believe you’re taking Ashley to a fucking sex club and I’m not coming along,” she groused, not looking up from her phone.
Kitten and Kris had already gone 15 rounds on this. Kris had a few more left in her.
“You weren’t invited and I’m not pissing off the person who extended our invite,” I said, trying to be as neutral as possible. It was also true.
“Oh please. I should be there. I’m Ashley’s friend. She needs me there to watch her back,” she said, looking at me now instead of her phone. Her refusal to call Kitten by her preferred name, or even Kit, was always something that grated on my nerves. Kitten just rolled her eyes at it.
Kitten and I had talked about this quite a bit over the last few months. I’d offer to help her deal with the situation. After all, the two of us had worked out pretty well and I’d been able to help her get through some challenging situations. Kitten gave me a somewhat pitying look.
“You are good, Daddy. And I appreciate everything you’ve done. But not all girls are the same. So yeah, we mesh well. You want to help and I’m in a place where I recognize the wisdom of much of what you say,” she told me. “Kris just sees you as another adult, one that’s ruining me, and denying her what she wants.”
“Which is?”
Kitten shrugged her shoulders. “She has no idea. She just knows you’re just the latest person getting in her way of having it.”
“That makes absolutely no…” I started and then saw Kitten smile and tilt her head at me. One of those “Oh, Daddy, you’re adorable when you’re clueless” looks.
“Plus, and I love her, Kris could get her PhD in manipulation. The amount of trouble I got into when I was younger because of her was unreal. But she always made it sound like such a good idea at the time,” Kitten said. “I love you, but you really can’t handle a borderline crazy 22-year-old girl.”
I resolved to be the sympathetic ear when she complained about Kris, rather than the one helping her solve the problem. Still, I didn’t feel like being kicked around while waiting for Kitten.
“Last time I checked, the ring I put on her finger means I’ve got her back, Kris. She’ll be perfectly safe, as she always is with me,” I said, keeping my voice as calm as I could.
Kris’s eye roll could probably be heard next door.
“Oh please. Ashley always had a weakness for older guys, but most of them were so skeevy it was easy for me to tell her she needed to break it off. I have no idea what you’ve gotten done to her, convincing her to use that ridiculous name, convincing her to get married at 22, and now letting her think a sex club is a good idea, but it’s fucking bullshit. I know you’re up to something,” she said.
Manipulation, or a friend genuinely worried about another friend? Kitten was right; I didn’t have the skills to handle this kind of thing.
Fortunately, I was engaged to someone who did.
“Enough, Kris,” Kitten said, standing in the doorway with her enormous TARDIS bag over her shoulder. She stomped into her apartment, tossed her bag on the floor and marched up to Kris.
“You don’t want to go to the club tomorrow night to have my back. You want to go and get dirt so you can gossip to friends back in Saskatchewan. So you can put me down and so they can think I’m an even bigger slut. Which I do not care about, because I’m never going back there again. But that doesn’t mean you get to boost yourself at my expense.
“And you’re not invited because you’re not mature enough to go there. You’ll get drunk and be kicked out within an hour. Just like you were getting drunk on shifts at the bars you were fired from,” she said. The last bit was news to me. Kitten hadn’t elaborated why Kris had been fired.
“I love you, Kris. But my patience is just about done. I have explained to you again and again why Ben is different from the idiots I dated before and you’re not listening. You just attacked him. Apologize right now or you can fly the fuck back home to Saskatchewan tonight for all I care.”
Kris had several inches and more than several pounds on Kitten. Plus, Kitten had just called her a drunk and a gossipy bitch. Still, never bet against a pissed-off redhead. That and everyone in the room knew she wasn’t kidding.
“Sorry Ben,” Kris managed to say through gritted teeth. She stared at Kitten a moment longer, shook her head, and then went over, grabbed her jacket and walked out, slamming the door behind her.
“Wow,” I managed to get out. Kitten held up her hand and walked into her bedroom. I knew better than to say anything when she was in this headspace.
Kitten was a strong woman, stronger than she looked. Anyone who underestimated her these days did so at their peril. Those idiots at the hot springs learned that lesson. But confrontation with girls her age drained her.
After a few minutes in her bedroom, she came out with a couple of bags. We were going to my hotel room for the next two nights and then back to our home in Kingston. This seemed a disproportionate amount to pack.
“Just being careful,” she said, reading my mind. “I’m going to be gone for a few days and she can be a spitey bitch when she gets smacked around like that. So I’m not leaving anything of personal value lying around.”
“Kitten…” I started again.
“No. Not yet. Just… let’s get to the hotel, and give me some time to decompress,” she said.