A small hand touched Lillian’s face.
Jasmine, her hands full of tears, asked anxiously, “Why is Mommy crying?”
“Mommy’s not crying, sweetie, Mommy’s just sad.”
She was sad about the years that were missed, sad about never having been a part of everything in her life, sad that when they finally reunited, Jasmine had already grown up, so thoughtful, so adorable, so eloquent.
But all of these things felt so foreign to Lillian.
This kind of feeling, only a mother could truly understand.
Jasmine was about to kick Conrad, hinting for him to wipe Mom’s tears.
Suddenly, something pressed in from behind.
Lillian was pulled closer, and Conrad, with practiced ease, wiped away her tears with a tissue. He didn’t say a word, but everything he wanted to convey was in his gaze.
Jasmine looked up at them, and if she weren’t stuck between the two of them.
“It’s all in the past now,” Conrad’s voice was low and comforting.
Yes, it was all in the past.
Five years had already passed.
In those photos, she wasn’t there, but it felt like she was everywhere.
For example, in group photos, there would always be an empty seat beside Conrad left for her.
At meals, there was always an extra set of utensils, placed next to Conrad.
In Jasmine’s room, beside Conrad’s pillow, there was a long-haired, long-lashed doll.
…
She was remembered in another way.
Lillian saw all kinds of Jasmines.
She also saw a side of Conrad she had never known before.
From deliberately ignoring him at first to later being unable to tear her eyes away from his interactions with Jasmine.
She didn’t remember when she finished watching the photos, only that she replayed them once more. Every time she watched, it felt different.
In the process, she had forgotten how long her elbow had been in his hand.
Conrad’s arm had gone numb, but he couldn’t bear to let go. He was greedily watching the woman he had lost for five years.
Jasmine rubbed her eyes and snuggled into Lillian’s arms. “Mommy, Jasmine’s sleepy.”
Lillian snapped back to reality. “Well, how about Mommy carries Jasmine to bed so you can sleep?”
“No~ I don’t want to sleep. If I fall asleep, Mommy will go back to someone else’s house, to be Quincy’s mommy, and Jasmine won’t have mommy anymore. Other kids open their eyes and see their mommies, but Jasmine doesn’t. “Is it because Jasmine doesn’t eat well? If Jasmine eats better and doesn’t fight with others anymore, will that be okay?”
Lillian’s heart broke as she listened to her, and she couldn’t focus on anything else. “No, no, Jasmine’s a good girl. Mommy promises, that when you wake up, Mommy will definitely be here by your side.”
“Yay, Mommy and Daddy and Jasmine can all sleep together!” Jasmine said as she didn’t wait for Lillian’s reaction and snuggled into her arms. “Then I’m going to sleep now.”
Lillian instinctively glanced at Conrad, his gaze intense. She awkwardly nodded.
But Conrad didn’t do anything. Instead, when Jasmine’s breathing grew deeper, he gently lifted her into his arms. It seemed like the little girl had gotten used to sleeping by Conrad’s side. She snuggled into her dad’s chest and, with her limbs sprawled out, fell into a peaceful sleep.
When Lillian woke up, she immediately felt her body stiff and numb, the sensation as if millions of ants were crawling under her skin. Her limbs and bones couldn’t move at all.
Conrad picked up their daughter with one hand and looked down at her. “I’ll take her back to the room.”
Lillian lowered her gaze. “Okay.”
He moved quietly towards the door, but Jasmine suddenly woke up with a start. She turned in Conrad’s arms and, with a whimper, said to Lillian, “Mommy, I want Mommy.”
Lillian, not caring about the tingling sensation all over her body, quickly got up. She almost lost her balance, but managed to rush to Conrad’s side and took Jasmine from his arms.
“Mommy’s here. Mommy won’t leave you.”
Jasmine, still crying, clung to her. “I keep having a dream. In the dream, Mommy’s in a dark room, with no windows. Mommy’s scared. Every day, you talk to me a lot, and I can hear her, but I don’t know how to respond. But I can’t remember where that room is.”
Jasmine grew more anxious as she spoke. “Mommy’s in the dark room.”
As she spoke, her voice softened, and her little head drooped onto Lillian’s shoulder as she fell asleep in her arms.
Conrad watched her, her gaze shifting from infinite tenderness to emptiness, and tears the size of beans began to roll down her face.
He was at a loss, unsure of what to do.
Lillian blinked, then pressed her face against Jasmine’s and quietly walked past him. Conrad watched her back and followed.
It wasn’t an issue for two people to sleep in Jasmine’s small bed, but for three, it was a tight squeeze, especially with Conrad’s tall frame. When he lay down, there was hardly any space for his feet.
Lillian gently placed Jasmine on the bed, but her hand still clung to Lillian’s clothes.
“Do you want to wash up in my room?” Conrad asked, immediately adding, “Your toiletries are all replaced every quarter, and they’re the ones you used to use.”
He remembered her habits-how she couldn’t sleep without washing up or taking a shower.
“No.” She couldn’t bear to leave Jasmine, and she definitely didn’t want to step into his room.
It was the answer Conrad had expected, but hearing it still left him feeling disappointed.
“Then you two sleep, and I’ll squeeze onto the couch.”
He walked over to the single sofa where he used to sit and tell Jasmine stories every night. He could only sit and sleep there.
When had he ever felt so wronged?
He adjusted the light to the softest setting, sat quietly, and watched them sleep in each other’s arms.
Lillian couldn’t sleep at all because Conrad’s presence was too overwhelming to ignore. She could only focus all her attention on Jasmine, resting her face against her daughter’s delicate skin, feeling a small part of her heart heal.
She wasn’t sure how much time passed before Jasmine suddenly woke up again, crying and shouting, “Mommy, I saw Mommy in the sky and chose her! I’m a little warrior. I have to save Mommy!”
Lillian immediately woke up and tried to hold her to comfort her, but a pair of hands moved faster than hers, flipping Jasmine over. With his long frame bent at the waist, Conrad patiently and rhythmically patted Jasmine’s bottom. Before long, her anxious emotions calmed down.
Conrad, seeing the worried look on Lillian’s face, said softly, “She’s been like this since she was little. She can’t sleep alone at night. The doctor said it’s because she was often frightened while in her mother’s womb.”
“So, Lillian, what exactly happened back then?” He looked into her eyes and asked.
The mystery of Jasmine was solved, but what had Lillian gone through to make her believe her daughter was gone?
What had she endured that made her refuse to come back to him?