Caleb’s [POV]
I hadn’t moved from Ren’s bedside, and I didn’t plan to either as I watched my mate fight for her life. When we got here, I expected things to go fast. As shifters, we healed easily and quickly, but I hadn’t considered a few things.
Ren hadn’t shifted in a long time. She was small, she wasn’t as strong as most shifters, and most importantly, she must not think she had much to live for.
Desperate, I stepped closer to the bed and felt my eyes burn as I took her in and saw just how small and defenseless she was. And I’d hurt her. Maybe not physically, but I’d hurt her in ways so deep and irrevocable I hated myself.
“Baby? Please. Please wake up?” I begged, a sob escaping when the machine keeping her alive kept going, but Ren didn’t stir.
Near to insanity because it had been hours now, I leaned close to her and sniffed, hating the fact that her shifter scent was so faint. She smelled nearly human. Had her wolf let go, I wondered, a shudder wracking me thinking about it. If it had, Ren would die, and then nothing I did would fix it.
Bite her, a voice grumbled, the sound of my wolf so unexpected I flinched and frowned, shaking my head.
I couldn’t have heard.
Bite her.
It snarled again, this time clearer, and when my bear grumbled its agreement, I didn’t fight it. Leaning in, I sank my teeth into her shoulder, being as gentle as I could be. Ren was so fragile, broken, and weak that it brought tears to my eyes.
It was my last hope, the mating bite, and though I’d given it to her before, this one was all me. It wasn’t about my animals or mating but about how much I needed her back, and I poured every ounce of love I had into it before licking her and pulling back.
She didn’t stir, not even when I kissed her lips softly, and then I fell back into my seat, praying.
Because if Ren didn’t make it, I didn’t want to live.
And this time, I wouldn’t fail.
Ren’s [POV]
I woke up fast, my eyes blinking open in an instant. With a clarity that startled me because I saw nothing but darkness for a minute, I turned my head and saw Caleb. He was fast asleep in a chair beside my bed and looked so haggard I felt a smile curve my lips.
Served him right.
Yeah, but look how adorable he is sitting there all sad and pathetic. I sighed, holding in a snicker before I took stock of my body. I hurt, but not in an ‘I just fell off a cliff and hit bottom’ way. No, this was more like stiffness, as if I’d been immobile for a long time and my muscles hadn’t woken yet.
I didn’t want to be awake.
It wasn’t upsetting to be alive, but I was also not yet ready to face the next steps in whatever was to become of my life. Things hadn’t exactly been peachy keen between us before this happened, and I was still angry.
Oh, Lord, you’re finally down to my level.
“I don’t want to be! I’m not this snide, spiteful person. I like people happy, and I like to be happy!” I whispered. “I’m happy.”
But I wasn’t. And that was on Caleb. It wasn’t that I didn’t forgive him because I did. But he’d been so awful and hurtful, and I didn’t think I could let it go so easily and be sunshine and daisies right off the bat. I deserved a man to work for me, to try, to woo me, and I realized no one ever had. With Shane, it was instant, well, lust, to be honest.
He wasn’t always an ass. For the first while, until after we’d married and settled into the Walker pack, he was quite something. But he never wooed me, and that was my fault. I guess I didn’t feel like I had deserved it, and yeah, a lot of my thinking was about being lucky enough to have landed him.
With Caleb, it had been a rocky ride of me always trying, smiling, doing, and right now, I didn’t like that. I’d done my part and been worthy, and now he needed to be worthy of me. Yeah, I understood he had hang-ups, and yes, I felt terrible for him, but he wasn’t the only one with problems. You didn’t see me throwing them around as justification.
“Fucking asshole,” I grumbled, curling my lip before I stared up at the ceiling and thought about what had happened.
I was still pissed off that Shane was alive. A tiny part of me-fine, a huge part of me- was disappointed that I hadn’t killed him, even accidentally. Now, I had to deal with the fact that Caleb probably did. Hell, I knew he had because if he were there like the Knowing showed me he was, I’d bet money I didn’t have that Caleb Chase ripped Shane a new one. Probably bit his head off.
Or ripped his guts out.
The lucky schmuck!
But, whatever. I could get over it all and deal with everything just as soon as I stopped feeling mad about my mating and the fact that I hadn’t had one date, one sweet romantic word, or a freaking flower.
I deserved those things.
Yeah, you do. You’re worth it, Ren Chase. Don’t you ever forget it, my mind whispered, happily and with so much pride. I smiled and teared up.
You know what, you’re not so bad. I mean, you’re insane, and you drive me nuts, but I’m glad you were with me when I fell. That joke you made about Caleb whining to his brothers about losing another mate was hilarious. As was the image of him pouting. Before he carried on with his life.
Girl, I was just distracting you while we fell to our death. That’s what real friends are for!
I snickered, hearing her happy, and knew this was rare because I’d be right back to the bitchiness soon enough.
And I was okay with that because I liked myself. I finally liked myself enough to accept myself as I was. Now it was Caleb’s turn to work for me. And God helps the man if he didn’t because I was pretty sure the new me would kill him if he didn’t.
Caleb’s [POV]
I was a pathetic creep and didn’t think I’d heard it all, but I didn’t give a shit as I stood in the trees and watched Ren leave the clinic. She was smiling, and I felt like I was seeing the sun for the first time in days. I was miserable too, which wasn’t much of a surprise seeing as my mate woke up, cussed me out, kicked me in the balls, and promptly moved in with my brother.
“This is getting fucking weird.” I heard Cole sidle up beside me and groaned, taking one look at me and curling his lip. “When was the last time you showered? Jesus, Caleb, you smell like dirty nuts and broken dreams!”
He snorted, unable to hold in his laughter, and I growled as I flushed with embarrassment. He wasn’t wrong. I hadn’t slept or eaten properly in days, and showering was too much effort when all I wanted to do was see Ren. I missed her so much, nothing mattered anymore, and if I couldn’t have her, I could at least be close to her the only way I knew how.
“I was guarding the house last night and the night before that,” I mumbled, my eyes narrowing when she walked into the store across the street and disappeared from view.
I wasn’t allowed in there anymore, and the last time I tried, Walker walked in and threatened to kick my ass if I didn’t leave Ren alone. All I did was fall to my knees in the middle of the aisle and pour my heart out. You’d swear I was a danger the way Trey hustled her out of there after she sneered at me and told me to get lost.
“Bro, you need to stop. She’s trying to heal.”
“She should heal with me. She’s my mate!” I whined, eyeing the clinic while worry toe through me.
Was she sick? Did she have some sort of lingering injury from the fall? The fact that I didn’t know killed me, but I was going to fix that.
“Yeah, well, she’s your mate who’s trying to deal with one split personality, a weak wolf, and now the echoes of your bear and wolf. What were you thinking, biting her twice?” he snarled, rolling his eyes when I smiled, preening.
I was thinking I wasn’t ready to lose the only female I ever really loved. I was thinking if she died, I wasn’t far behind, so giving her part of myself wasn’t that terrifying. Mostly, I was thinking I would do anything to save her and have those blue eyes smiling at me.
What I got was disgust, a mule kick to the gonads, and Ren’s assertion that I didn’t pass muster with her.
“I knew my bear and wolf were strong enough to save her. She was dying.”
“She was in a coma, rightfully so, but she would have woken up. Eventually.” Cole argued, leaning against the tree beside him while I shook my head and sighed.
“She was dying. I could scent it.”
“So you bit her and gave part of yourself to her? Caleb…” he groaned, smiling tightly when I growled, and my bear got so testy, I felt my hands shift into paws before I shook it off.
Fucking bear. Calm down! You’re supposed to be the calm one.
When all she did was grunt, I groaned and rolled my eyes. Ever since I let them out, giving them more control than I had ever, it’s been one thing after another. What I’d discovered, to my horror and surprise, was that my bear was way stronger than my wolf. The animal was sly though, a lot stealthier and patient than my wolf, and where I’d always tried to control my wolf, it was the bear I needed to watch.
Sneaky bastard.
“I bit her to save her because I would rather spend my life waiting for a chance with Ren Chase than have a life without her. She’s me…everything.” I said softly, not caring how sappy or pussy whipped I sounded.
It was true. She was everything. When I did sleep, I woke wanting her, missing her, needing her so badly it hurt. And it wasn’t just about sex, although my animals were all about that and never shut up about claiming her. It was natural to want to reclaim my mate after nearly losing her, so I couldn’t blame them.
But what I wanted was one moment of her. To see her eyes, to taste her breath, and smell her scent. One touch of her hand against me. A word. Anything.
“Oh, Caleb. Christ, man, you’ve turned into a sap.” Cole muttered, but he smiled softly as he said it without the sting of his usual mockery.
It wouldn’t matter if there were. People laughed at me daily. Hell, Walker called me up late at night after he’d run me off and ordered me to stop stalking my mate, and he laughed his ass off about how hard and far I’d fallen.
None of that mattered, and I’d discovered it never would. With Ren, I had no pride, and I liked it that way because I’d realized love wasn’t about saving face and what others thought of me. With Joyce, I was always working my ass off to provide her with the stuff she wanted because I was terrified everyone would see how much I didn’t deserve her.
She was this dream I’d had, a mirage that I fooled myself into thinking I wanted. Hell, fated or not, sometimes I didn’t even like her, and that wasn’t about her; it was about me. I’d wanted a mate who would love me and create a loving, warm home for me to land in after the horrors of my day. I’d wanted cubs, laughter, and chaos, and what I got was nothing like that.
Joyce didn’t fit any part of that dream. She didn’t cook, she hated cleaning, and the one time I talked about starting a family, she’d laughed and told me she wasn’t ready and didn’t know when she ever would be. I’d accepted that the fasting was so strong I’d convinced myself I was okay with that. As long as I had her, I could give up any dream and still be happy. But I wasn’t. I was miserable. I worked sixteen-hour days sometimes, picking up as many shifts as I could to make more and more money.
I’d wanted to give her everything so people could see I was a good male, a good mate, and in return, I got nothing.
I guessed… a huge part of my grief after she left me was because I’d not lost her; I’d lost everything I’d wanted in the pursuit of what I thought was right.
“No, Cole. I’ve finally fallen in love.” I whispered, smiling sadly when he sighed and shook his head.
“Told you from the start, Joyce wasn’t right for you. Fating or not, you two didn’t fit. Just like your wolf, man. I know he’s there, and I know he’s part of you, but you’re a bear. Who you were in your other life, that wasn’t you, not really. This dating with Ren proves it. I’ve never seen you happier than you are with her. Even when you try not to be.” He chuckled, slapping me on the back when I grumbled and blushed.
“I don’t know how to fix this,” I whispered, swallowing when he sighed and shook his head.
“I’d tell you if I knew, I swear, but I have my fucking female problems, and trust me, bro, I fucked up worse than you did. At least your female is here, close enough to touch.” He muttered before nodding and turning to walk away.
I wanted to stop him, but my curiosity peaked, but instead, I let him go and turned to the clinic, my resolve growing. Breathing deep, I skirted the place, keeping to the trees as I approached the back, and then sidled up to a window. One peek inside, and I saw there was no one around, so I used a claw to pop the latch and lifted it.
It was probably wrong to sneak into the clinic and read Ren’s records, some sort of privacy violation or some shit, but I didn’t let that bug me as I scented the air and climbed inside. My first stop was the filing cabinet, where I knew Dr. Triss kept patient records.
Flicking through the files, I hissed when I didn’t find her under the C’s but under the S’s. Ren Sheppard. Fuck no. Chase, I snarled, grabbing a pen to cross the last name out and correct it. Satisfied, I flipped through the folder and then stopped breathing when I saw what was written there.
Joy hit me first, the happiness so great it nearly choked me as I reread the words over and over again while pride and fear, and panic melded inside me.
“Pregnant.” I rasped, the image of my Ren carrying my seed, turning my heart into a runaway beat that knocked so hard my chest physically hurt from the force of it.
Fuck. Pregnant. My Ren was pregnant, and she wasn’t with me where I could take care of her and make sure she ate and watch her like a hawk.
She was with Trey. My brother. Who would take care of her, feed her and make sure she was happy?
No way. That wasn’t happening. If a male was going to care for my mate, it was going to be me. Not my smooth, good-looking little brother who could charm the panties off many a female. Ren wouldn’t stay there and fall victim to his charms, and I wasn’t about to sit back and let him show her how wonderful he was.
She was mine, and no other male could have her.
“Never,” I growled, closing the file as I started to plan.
It was all wrong. Hell, Ren had been through a lot, lived through an abusive marriage, and had been kidnapped and nearly killed. Plotting a kidnapping probably wasn’t smart.
Hell. As she had pointed out the day she woke up and nailed me in the balls.
I was smart.
Instead, I was a fool, a fool in love, and this fool was about to steal his mate back.
For good.