Ren’s [POV]
I woke with my head pounding so hard that, for a minute, I wondered if it was the result of a hangover. Maybe lying to myself was silly, but that was wishful thinking and when you knew something was wrong, lying to yourself was sort of okay. I knew I was just trying to lie to myself now, and as I kept my eyes closed, my senses took over.
Stifling a shriek when I realized I was bound to a chair, I slowly blinked my eyes open and winced. God, my head hurt, and my body felt stiff and-
“If you wanted kinky sex, you could have just asked!” I joked, my mind attempting to make light of this even now because the alternative scared me so much I almost wet myself.
Okay. Okay. Don’t panic.
My wolf screamed, her cowardly ass whimpering loudly when I looked around me and saw where I was.
This wasn’t my trailer, and I wasn’t living out some kinky sex scene with Caleb. Oh no. This was me in a strange place, tied to a chair and sporting a splitting headache because someone hit me over the head and knocked me out.
Girl, if Caleb had hit you over the head, I’d have ripped his throat out and lectured him about what good sex requires.
“Would you shut up!” I hissed, tears filling my eyes because this wasn’t funny, and it was no time to joke.
Oh, God!
“Stop it. Sheesh, you’re such a baby.” I hissed at my wolf, a nervous giggle escaping when she kept trying to tell me this wasn’t real.
Just a sex game. Just…
“Well, well, well. Still talking to yourself and telling yourself those lies.” A voice mused, the familiar snarl turning my blood to ice right before Shane walked into the kitchen and smirked at me.
Okay. Now I know we’re dead. I told you we’re going to hell for our inner thoughts! Being dead with this bozo means we’re damned.
I snorted, a small hysterical cackle leaving me as I rolled my eyes.
I wasn’t dead or in hell. I only wished I was when I took a look at my rat-bastard ex and sneered. I should have known!
“You don’t seem surprised to see me, baby.” Shane mused, his grin turning my stomach.
“Not that much. I should have known you weren’t dead. Cockroaches can survive a nuclear blast.” I spat, a cry leaving me when he suddenly lunged and slapped me, rocking my head back.
Pain burst through me, the sting in my left cheek burning even when he slapped the other side and shoved his face into mine.
“You shut your mouth, bitch. You’re already on thin ice with me after fucking that feral mutt, Caleb Chase.” He screamed, spittle hitting my cheek and making me gag before I twisted my head and held my breath.
Still the same angry, drunken asshole, I thought, old fears rearing up along with my temper, which thankfully was so strong, I didn’t start crying.
“Oh, puh-leeze! Like, I give a shit. We’re divorced, asshole, and you’re supposed to be dead.” I huffed, ignoring the anger in his icy gaze and the way my coward wolf kept whimpering.
I’d deal with the idiot later, I decided, high-fiving my inner voice when she agreed and sniffed with disdain.
“Only because you fucked my life up. You think I wanted to fake my death and leave my pack!” he yelled, twisting to stalk to the fridge and punch it.
“What I think is, you’re a freaking idiot coward, and you’ve made a huge mistake. Caleb is going to kill you.” I sang, chuckling when he stiffened and turned to glare at me.
“Shut up!”
“What’s wrong, punkin’? You scared?” I taunted, my giggle turning evil when he shuddered. “You always were a coward, you know. Beating up on a woman”
“Female! Jesus, why can’t you say male and female like normal shifters? You always have to be different.”
“Uh, hello, I am different, and I like it. Caleb likes it, too, and so do Cole and Trey. I don’t care what you think.”
“Bitch”
“Don’t. Those two baby slaps will still go unnoticed. I promise you if you leave marks, Caleb is going to rip your intestines out with his teeth and chew on your swollen, cirrhosis-riddled liver!” I warned, snickering every time he flinched at the mention of Caleb’s name. “We’re fated. Trust me, he’s going to get testy when he finds me. Might as well not annoy him more.”
“You think I’m afraid”
“You should be. You know he once ripped a man’s arms off and beat him with them?” I crooned, giggling when Shane stiffened. “Of course, he was feral then, and Walker says the guy deserved it for smacking his kid. What do you think, Shane? Think he’ll do worse to you for hitting his mate?” I asked, ignoring the ache in my chest as I lied.
I wasn’t his mate, not really. Hell, we didn’t even sleep in the same bed. Okay, fine, so that was kind of my fault because I was the one who insisted on the guestroom. I was expecting him to lose it eventually and come make hot, nasty love to me and drag me to our bedroom. Not for him to ignore me!
Suddenly I was pissed again. Maybe that was why I didn’t see the warning signs before Shane lunged and backhanded me. The force knocked the chair back hard enough that my already-pounding skull hit the lip of the counter when my chair flew back.
“You’re mine. Mine, Ren. I told you that the night we were mate”
“Married,” I yelled, spots filling my vision until I shook it off. “We didn’t mate. Walker never recognized the marriage, which is why I wasn’t considered a part of the pack.”
“I don’t care what he thinks. He isn’t my Alpha, not anymore.” He hissed, backing off when I spat out blood and bared my teeth at him.
“What do you want?” I muttered, tired of playing games with him.
I was this close to losing it and going off into la-la-land, and even as I said it, I started to smile and think thoughts that were just crazy. Like, Caleb was seconds away from bursting in and tearing Shane’s head off with his bare hands. Or ripping his throat out. He’d come and save me, and I’d be home for supper in no time.
I wondered what I’d cook tonight. Pork chops sounded good, and oh! Brownies with ice cream, I thought, my mouth salivating thinking about it. After that, I was drinking a gallon of wine while I watched Titanic and cried about Jack dying.
She could have shared the freaking door!
“I know, right? Or if she’d stayed in the lifeboat, Jack would have made it.” I sighed, shaking my head because every time I watched that movie, it grated on my nerves.
Maybe we could just watch Steel Magnolias again.
“Would you hush? This is no time to be thinking about a movie. We’re in trouble here.” I sniffled, even though I’d probably watch it again.
Much later. You know, when I haven’t been kidnapped, and I’m not tied to a chair while a psycho laughed at me.
And make Caleb watch it too, I thought, cackling along with my inner crazy while Shane gaped at me and groaned.
“Jesus, you’re still nuts!”
“Caleb likes it. I’m crazy.” I sing-song, snickering when he growled and swiped a hand through his hair.
The light brown strands were thinner, and those eyes of his were bloodshot. God, what did I see in him? I wondered as I took in his disheveled clothes, the gut he’d started growing before we divorced, and the fact that he was just plain…gross.
“Jesus. When’s the last time you bathed?” I huffed, revulsion filling me.
And pity. Don’t forget pity, honey. The man used to be hot.
“Shut up. You’re gonna regret every word out of that mouth of yours as soon as I get what I want from you.”
“And that is?” I mused, a giggle erupting from my wolf as hysteria threatened.
Jesus. I was going to lose it.
“Your gift.” Shane mused, smirking when I frowned. “Thought I didn’t know about it, didn’t you? Oh, I knew. And I hated it. You were so creepy when you’d sit in a trance for hours on end and come to crying. At first, I thought it was just you being you, but when you cried like that right before my grandmother passed away, I figured it out.”
That shocked me. I mean…
Self-denial. It’s a beautiful but terrible thing, honey, my mind whispers gently.
I know. Shit, I’m going to have to stop lying to myself.
“So? What do you want? Jesus, Shane. Just spit it out already. I’m not feeling well, and the stink of your booze sweat is turning my stomach. Tell me what you want, and let me go.”
“Let you go?” he laughed, scaring me when he lunged forward and snickered, his eyes so crazed I flinched.
“Oh no, baby. I’m keeping you. That was the deal, you see. The Janus pack wasn’t exactly recruiting into the ranks until I promised them some help, but I had conditions of my own. Your gift for their help in getting to you. You think this was easy with all those Enforcers walking around, always watching you so closely?”
“Shane”
“Even my brothers started protecting you. That pissed mama off, but I wasn’t surprised. They were always weak and too nice to you. They killed Joe, you know?” he asked, making me frown because Trey told me about the dead shifter in the woods, and now it all made sense.
“Why?”
“Because he was there, scouting, creating a distraction so I could get to you without everyone sniffing around your trailer. But you weren’t there!” he snapped, pulling back when I flinched.
“Out whoring with that feral loser again. Tell me, how does it feel knowing you mated a male who doesn’t even want you?”
That hurt, but as usual, I found a way to ignore the truth. It helped. I mean, I had my problems right now, and crying about Caleb’s sucky mating wasn’t a priority. But as soon as I could, I was telling him how unacceptable it was.
“Better than being stalked by an alcoholic loser with a booze gut!” I yelled, and this time, I expected the slap and smiled through it.
Which wasn’t easy. I was no badass, and I wasn’t courageous. I wore pink crocs and yellow socks and cried when I watched cute kitten videos on YouTube, dammit. Last week I cried while watching a TikTok video reel of people getting married! I was soft. A soft, cuddly, weak woman who silver-lined everything and didn’t do smarmy.
Which made me quake with terror and pray harder that someone was looking for me. Preferably Caleb, but honestly, that was such a long shot it was going to take a lot more lying to convince myself of that one.