Aria Ruso
Matteo had sent texts all week, and I read and deleted each of them. He asked for guard rotations, business associations, business partners, and any other useful information. When I hadn’t answered, the texts became more consistent. I couldn’t stop the ache in my chest at the thought of finally having a brother again, but I couldn’t imagine betraying Cade in such a way when he’d shown his loyalty without anything in return.
Why did I have to give up on this friendship with Cade just to have a relationship with my brother? Why couldn’t he just forgive me the way Cade had seemed to. It had been a mistake-an unavoidable one.
If I could go back now, I would have done things so differently, but that wasn’t an option, and Matteo had to understand that.
I had to make a decision, but it didn’t feel like a decision at all. That was the most difficult part of the entire situation-the fact that I knew what had to be done but couldn’t stomach the idea of doing it.
I had to cut ties with Matteo and tell Cade the truth, but how could I give up my brother that easily?
Cade came into my room sometime later, pausing at the threshold and looking around for a moment before addressing me. “I had a conversation with Matteo about the alliance.”
My heart lurched. “Yeah?”
“I need to know what you think about all of this. You’ve been around him a lot more than I have, and I need your insight.”
I had no idea where to start with my insight into my brother. Cade had no idea what he was asking of me. “I have been away for years, and I’ve barely seen him recently,” I said honestly.
He nodded slowly. “What can you tell me?”
I had to be so careful about what I said here. I didn’t want to betray my brother, but I also didn’t think I could continue betraying Cade. I knew I couldn’t play both sides, though. It was a dangerous and impossible game. But I could deter Cade from trusting him. I didn’t necessarily have to tell Cade about Matteo’s plans to dissuade him. “I told you this before, and I
need you to understand. He’s not the same man you were friends with. I don’t trust him, and I don’t think he’s given you any reason to trust him, either.”
“He hasn’t,” Cade admitted.
“I don’t know why you’re clinging to this alliance so hard,” I told him. “I don’t think it is worth it for you. If you’re already being attacked from all fronts, including his own men, the alliance has gone to shit. I know it’s not my call, but I can’t think of one reason you’ve held onto it for so long.”
He looked conflicted as he nodded and took a few steps forward, resting his palm on my cheek. He shook his head as if pushing away whatever he was thinking. “There’s only one reason,” he admitted.
“What is it?”
From where I stood, I saw Cade deliberately not attacking my brother, despite having all hell rained down on him from Matteo and the other families. Without the alliance, he could fight back. He was gaining nothing by trusting my brother. Even without knowing what I knew, it didn’t look like a good business move.
He raised his brows as if I should already know the reason, but I had no idea.
“You,” he finally told me.
My stomach sank. Had he been going through all of this heartache for me? Cade may have been hard and brutish. He was cruel when people opposed him, and he was the last person I would want as a genuine enemy, but he did have a soft spot-just one. I couldn’t believe it had taken me until now to realize it.
“I thought holding onto it would be beneficial for a while, but I recently realized the reason I have been clinging to this is that if I don’t, I’ll have to give you back.” He left a lingering kiss on my lips-a soft one that surprised me. “I’m not giving you back, Aria.”
My breath caught as he said those words. The way he said those words sent chills down my spine. He didn’t just mean them. He said them in a way that insinuated he would fight to make sure that they were true. “I thought you’d want to give me back,” I told him.
“You clearly don’t see the situation clearly if that’s what you think.”
We hadn’t had a moment like this, and I realized it quickly as he stared down into my eyes, searching for something that I couldn’t place. We’d been intense with one another. We’d shared some emotions, but we’d never stood face to face like this, and he had certainly never admitted that I meant something to him.
“We’re having dinner, and we’d like it if you would come,” he told me.
“Elizabeth would be especially pleased.”
“Would you?” I finally asked as he stepped toward the door. He chuckled lightly. “More than you would know.”
***
Dinner started tense, only Carter bothering to start any sort of conversation. He mentioned training, and we discussed the next steps for a while before even that conversation felt stiff.
“Okay, I’m done,” Elizabeth said, shaking her head. “There’s an elephant in the room that nobody else is going to address, so I’ll get to it.” “An elephant?” I asked.
But she continued, unfazed by my question. “We’re probably not going to keep the peace with your brother, but we all want you to stay here. We want you to be with us.”
I gaped. “Oh.”
“I know we’re asking a lot by saying this, but we love you here. You’re like the only friend I have, and we all love spending time with you. Serg looks forward to training you every morning, and I don’t think I’ve seen Cade as happy as he is when you’re in the room. You keep him on his toes, and he needs that.”
I looked between them, setting my fork on my plate. My betrayal would destroy them, I realized. Carter and Elizabeth looked at me as if I were a part of their family, and Cade looked at me like… well, I couldn’t tell how he looked at me. But he had told me that he’d wanted me to stay. He’d wanted me.
Matteo had never shown the same sentiment.
I shouldn’t have even thought about this as hard as I had. I should have known what I’d do when I realized that Matteo’s love for me would only ever be conditional. What would happen if I pissed him off in six months?
Would we be right back where we started?
But he was still my brother, and he still deserved at least a fraction of loyalty from me. I could at least keep the betrayal to myself and give him time to change his mind and make the alliance worth it for each of them. If he got bold and attempted something, I would tell Cade. But until then, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. I wouldn’t feed him information, and I’d let him decide to make the right decision alone.
I nodded, making up my mind.
“I’ll stay,” I told them. “But only if you promise to keep training me,” I said, looking at Carter.
He chuckled and nodded. “As long as you promise not to be late to our morning sessions.”
I groaned. “Listen-”
“No, I expect you to show up on time. Not ten minutes later.”
“I don’t do mornings,” I told him. He raised his brows as if to say, ‘you do now.’ I huffed. “Fine.”
I glanced briefly at Cade, and I couldn’t overlook the relief that covered his face. He hadn’t been sure about my decision, I realized.
He took a deep breath, taking in everything. “I’m still planning on trying to make this work,” he said. “I’m still going to have deeper discussions with your brother. I’ll wait a little while longer and see if he pulls through. I don’t feel that calling off the alliance will be worth it right now, but if he attacks again-if his men act out of line and he doesn’t correct it-there will be consequences. I will be forced to act.”
Cade was being more than reasonable. “Are you being merciful because he’s my brother?” I asked.
“I’m being merciful because he’s an old friend, and I want this to work out. But if it doesn’t, I’m not going to put myself and my people at risk for an old friendship.” He met my eyes and held him. “If I have to kill your brother, I will.”
I was suddenly reminded of the way he’d been responsible for my father’s death, and I knew that he was telling me the truth. He was giving me more of a warning than anything, and I wanted to be pissed. I wanted to shout that he was being unreasonable, but we both knew that wasn’t the case. We both knew that it wasn’t the case with my father, either. He was, after all, my family’s enemy. He was a dangerous criminal, and he had only survived this long because he knew how far he could allow situations to escalate before stepping in.
I’d never stop grieving that my father had died, but from Cade’s perspective, I knew that there was nothing else he could do.
Matteo was leaving him in a similar situation, and I knew it would only continue to escalate.