Kayla
I was motionless. I couldn’t even utter a word. This wasn’t how I wanted my first time to turn out. I still didn’t want to believe that the man I loved wholeheartedly, would wake up and act like he regretted the heated passionate moments we spent together. I watched in tears as he followed Emily down the stairs like a lost puppy.
His reply and action to Emily’s question were more than enough to convince me. Now, I know where his heart lies. He wanted her and I was just in his way. I needed to stop hoping that he would come around and let go of him.
I quickly rushed up the stairs, pushed our chamber door open, and grabbed a small bag from the closet. Everything I owned here was given to me by Asher. I decided to take a few things for memory’s sake. I wouldn’t be back here again. This was it for both of us. I had finally made up my mind.
I was almost done with my packing when Asher barged into the chamber. I didn’t look up but I could feel his eyes burning into my skin.
“What are you doing?” He asked. His voice was gentle but there was a hint of fear in it.
I shoved in the remaining clothes, picked up the bag, and lifted myself off the floor. After gathering the little courage left in me, I finally turned to face him.
He searched my face for answers and I didn’t even try to hide anything that I was feeling at the moment. I needed to let everything out or I would never be able to live with myself.
“You can’t choose, right?” I asked as I felt tears streamed down my face.
Asher’s eyes widened in both fear and pain the moment he saw me begin to cry. He took a step forward and I stumbled backward, trying to put as much distance as possible.
“Don’t,” I said, with a raised hand.
He paused mid-way and stared at me in despair
“You know what hurts the most? Even before we got married you never wanted me. You’ve always pushed me away and tried to ignore whatever attraction that was between us. From the first day, you made it obvious that your priority was Emily. You were always concerned about not failing her, and you have always blamed yourself for her fake death. I stayed with you and listened to your story and shared in your pain. But all this time, I was secretly hoping for the day you would freely open your heart to me.” I closed my eyes, and let the tears fall. “I just realized that you are incapable of giving me your heart or even creating a space in it for me.
Your heart, soul, and mind have always been in one place and that’s with Emily.
Asher, you asked me to give you some time to make your decision, I am sorry, I can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep pouring my emotions into you while you keep draining me.”
“Kayla,” he mumbled. “Please.”
“No,” I yelled. “Don’t make this any harder than it already was for me. I am leaving Asher. I can’t continue staying here, I can’t stand the hurt anymore. I have been in pain while waiting for you to love me back. I can’t continue waiting for you while dwelling in pain. I’m making this entire thing easier for you. You clearly can’t choose and you definitely don’t want to lose Emily after longing and waiting for her all these years. I have made up my mind and it is for the best of both of us.
I tightened my hands on the bag and moved past him. I stiffened when he grabbed my arm and forced me to stop.
“Kayla,” he whispered. “Please don’t go.”
I closed my eyes and ignored the way my body reacted to his touch. Something within me wanted to stay and fight for us but my conscious self didn’t want to go through that pain anymore.
“Let go of me”
“Kayla, please you can’t do this to me”
“If you care about me at all, then you should let go of me,” I said
I felt a coldness rush down my spine when he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in a tight hug as though he was afraid I might disappear from his sight. I could hear the strong beating of his heart through the thin maroon color t-shirt and it only made me crave for him.
After a few minutes, he finally loosened his arms around me, my heart broke into a million pieces. I felt so shattered and my earlier confidence suddenly dissipated into thin air. It was obvious he was giving me a chance to leave, giving me what I was asking for. I couldn’t let him think I was having a second thought so I turned on my heels and rushed out of the chamber, not bothering to take a glance back.
The emotions suffocating my chest were too intense to bear. I rushed down the stairs and met Robin and Emily at the bottom of the stairs. I could see the look of victory on Emily’s face and I tried not to pay attention to it.
Robin rushed to me, engulfing me in his arms. I leaned into his arms.
“What’s going on? Why do you have a packed bag with you? Where are you going?”
I pulled out of Robin’s arms and shot a pleading look at him. I needed him to let go of me.
“I’m sorry. I can’t stay here any longer. I have to go.”
“I don’t understand. Why are you leaving? Didn’t you and Asher spend the night together? How then did it go from that to this? What happened Kay, did he do anything to you? Please talk to me.” He asked,
I sighed. “I appreciate your care Robin but none of that matters right now.”
I glanced back, expecting to see Asher pleading for me to stay back but I was disappointed. Robin pulled me into his arms again and held on almost as tightly as his brother had done.
“Please take care of yourself, Kayla, and remember that anytime you change your mind, the castle gates are widely open to welcome you back. I will miss you.”
I smiled in between the tears running down my cheeks. “Thank you so much, Robin, I sincerely appreciate your genuine love and friendship towards me. I will miss you so much. Goodbye.”
I took one last look at the house I had once called my home. This was it. My story with Asher was now coming to a close. Even though Asher didn’t recognize me as his, I would forever consider him as mine even without us not being together.