I hadn’t been back here since the night of the accident. I wasn’t sure how I was feeling right now. My heart was hammering in my chest, my stomach tightened as I pulled into the driveway.
I couldn’t stay away forever. This was my home, our home and I’ll be damned if the law was going to keep me out of it. I couldn’t let them win. They had already taken something from me but never again.
“Mommy”.
“Hi baby”.
I turned the car off got out and helped her from her car seat.
“How are you feeling baby?”. I took her hand in mine as we walked the short distance to the front door.
“Hungry mommy. I want milk and chips”.
Oh, she was definitely feeling better if she wanted to eat chips. I opened the door letting her go inside before I followed making sure to lock the door behind us.
“How about you watch peppa and I’ll get you some snacks?”.
“iPad mommy”.
“Okay baby”. That was me told.
I set her up on the couch with her iPad and the tv on in the background. I don’t know why but she loved to have her programs playing on the tv as well as playing away on her iPad.
You can tell who ruled the roost in my house.
I made her a little snack plate so she wasn’t just having chips. Pouring some milk into her cup I took them to her.
I swear she was 3 going on 13 at times. Laying on her stomach, her hand propped against the side of her head her eyes glued to peppa pig.
“Does your tummy still hurt Everleigh?”. I asked.
“I okay mommy just hungry and sleepy”.
Yeah, baby I feel you on the leeping part.
I kissed the top of her head placing the snacks beside her. “Mommy is just going to talk with uncle Jared I’ll be right back”.
That was my go to when I was slipping out the back for a cigarette. It was the worst habbit I ever picked up again and I wished I’d never started. Although a few a week weren’t going to keep me hooked forever.
I took the hidden pack of cigarettes and made sure to grab the cooker lighter before heading outside. I had just lit up when I heard the knock on my front door.
I wasn’t expecting anyone but that didn’t mean someone wouldn’t show up uninvited. I stubbed the cigarette out and placed it on the step for later and made my way back inside.
Another knock.
“Mommy”. Everleigh pointed towards the door.
“I know baby mommy’s going to get it”. I unlocked the door and pulled it open. The shock on my face was evident.
He couldn’t be here.
“Bail’s posted he’ll be out in the next few hours”.
Nothing else was said. He walked back towards his car got inside and drove off.
Wait what just happened?
I didn’t like the feeling that rose in my stomach. Nate posted bail, Blaze was coming home, and I had no idea what was going to happen. I closed and locked the door as I made my way towards the kitchen and back out into the garden.
Everleigh was fine. Eating her snacks and playing away on her iPad. I scrolled my call log until I clicked on Jared’s name bringing it to my ear.
“The fuck did I tell you?”. He sighed.
“I didn’t do anything. He showed up at my house”.
“He do anything?”.
“What, no”. I made a face. “All he said was bail had been posted and then he left. I didn’t do this Jared”.
“McColl said the bail was posted anonymously”.
“So, he won’t know?”. I chewed the inside of my cheek.
“It’s fucking Blaze the fucker knows everything”.
“But if the lawyer said it was anonymous, and we’re the only ones that know then how could he possibly find out?”. I know I shouldn’t even be going down this road, but I didn’t need another fight on my hands.
“And if he finds out months later?”.
I didn’t have an answer to that question right now. I hated lying to him, but it was better for everyone if we prevented him finding out the truth. All that matters is he was coming home.
“Then let’s hope he doesn’t. I have to go, bye”. I ended the call and finished my cigarette before heading back inside.
My stomach was churning. I was never a good liar but over the years my poker face had become surprisingly good. I would fake it till the buzz of his return was gone and everything was back to normal.
I would do what I needed to do to keep him out of that place and to keep my daughters dad around. And if he found out then I will deal with it when it happens.
I locked the door and went to sit in the living room. Everleigh was still playing away on her iPad none the wiser that she was going to see her dad soon. Would he get out today? It was late afternoon and yes bail had been paid but wasn’t there paperwork to do upon his release?
A sigh fell from my lips. I was anxious and I was anxious because I wasn’t sure what he was going to be like. He had only been gone 5 days, but a lot can happen within that period.
I didn’t visit, didn’t feel the need to and honestly, I didn’t want to. Not because I didn’t want to see him, I just couldn’t bring myself to see him like that. I had no idea what his mood was going to be like. Was he going to be pissed off? Who knows.
Was he going to come here first or straight to the clubhouse?
My head was starting to hurt, and I hated the dryness in my mouth. I was nervous about seeing him in case he saw straight through me. I changed the tv channel and settled for law and order.
For once Everleigh didn’t protest. I don’t know why kids liked having free reign on every device in the house. Surely, this didn’t just happen in my house. I went to make myself a drink and start dinner.
You could say I wanted a somewhat early night and seeing I was doing a double tomorrow I was going to need the sleep. Josh knew I wasn’t coming in until I dropped Everleigh off so it would be 9 at the latest.
I grabbed a wine glass from the cupboard and the bottle of rose from the fridge. I wasn’t a big drinker, stopped drinking in the house for a while but I felt this glass was needed today.