‘Hey, I hope you’re okay! I’ve moved into my house finally. Pop round if you’re free. I hope what happened last night doesn’t ruin our friendship. Please call me Ally’
I sent the message. My stomach was full of butterflies, I didn’t want to lose her. We had been through so much together. My phone pinged; I was scared to look.
‘Don’t be silly my girl we’re good! I’ll drop by around 5 I’ll bring dinner and wine’
My body relaxed just as my phone started to ring, Blaze’s name flashing on the screen.
“Hello”.
“Hey darling”. He sounded better.
“You, okay?”.
“I’m good baby just checking in before I hit the hay for a few hours. You at the house?”. I wish he was here sleeping in our bed. I just wanted to take care of him.
“Yeah, I love it, I love what you’ve done with it, and I can’t wait until your home”.
“Good sweets that’s good. Jared with you?”.
“He’s at the store getting me some goodies. I’m going to make him drink wine and watch crappy tv”. I could hear him chuckling.
“Your mom still got Everleigh?”.
“She wanted to keep her another night so I could get settled in a little better. She’ll be home tomorrow though”. My mom was good at sending me hourly updates on what she’d been getting up to. I couldn’t wait for her to see her room.
“Okay baby-.”…
“I want you home”. I whispered cutting him off. I wanted him here with me so badly.
“Soon sweets I promise. Gonna get the head down I’ll speak to you soon. I love you beautiful”.
“I love you too”. The line went dead, and I held my phone to my chest. It was always the worst when he wasn’t here. My stomach was in knots and would be until he was back home. I was snuggled on the couch watching catfish when Jared returned.
“Did you get the goods?”. Muting the tv I pushed the cover off me and got to my feet.
“Ice cream and I grabbed a few bags of chips. I’ll put the wine in the fridge until I see you eat something”. Rolling my eyes, I took the bag from him. “I’ll order takeout, what do you want?”. He asked.
Wine. I wanted to drink my way through the two bottles of wine I was putting in the fridge.
“It’s too early for takeout Jared”. It was still early afternoon. “It’s only three o’clock. We’ll order food at four, okay?”.
“As long as you eat something I don’t care what time we order it”. Pulling out his smokes he offered me one which I gladly took.
Opening the back door, I took a seat on the back step. I was having Deja-vu, the last time we were in this house together I was pregnant.
“Scoot over”. Sitting beside me he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “Last time we were here you were preggers with Everleigh. I fucking knew something was going on with you”. He chuckled.
“I wasn’t planning on telling anyone”. Taking a draw of my smoke I leaned against him. “I was set on moving away and bringing her up on my own. I never once thought I’d be back here. If Tommy hadn’t of passed away, I wouldn’t be here”.
“Yeah, you would darling. This is your home; you’d have come back eventually”.
“Maybe”. I shrugged. “I’m scared Jared. I keep thinking he’s not going to come back”.
“You’re overthinking again sweetheart. He’ll be home just let him do what he needs to do. He’ll come back to you”.
“That’s easy for you to say, you’re not the one he left before. I swear Jared if he leaves me this time I’m done. No more giving him chances, no more crawling back to him. I will leave and he won’t see me again”. He couldn’t keep running away when it got tough. He needed to start talking to me and letting me help him. “I’m opening that wine now”.
“What’s got you saying all this?”. He asked closing the back door.
Pouring the wine into a glass I took a sip before I answered. “He won’t talk to me. How can I help him when I don’t know what’s wrong. This club is going to kill him Jared”.
“It’s all he knows Ava; he’ll be stepping up soon”.
“Whatever”. Heading into the living room I curled back onto the sofa pulling the covers over me.
“No not whatever you need to chill the fuck out and stop thinking the worst. He fucked up once before Ava, he’s not going to do it again. I had to pick the fucker up off the floor all those years back”.
“He left me remember not the other way around so don’t sit there and say he was the one that suffered”. Blaze may as well have ripped my heart out of my chest, it would have hurt less. “He always thinks I deserve better; he needs to man the fuck it and take care of his family”.
“That’s the Ava I like”. He smirked. “The little spit fire I met all those years ago”.
“All those years ago I was weak. All I did was cry and for what, what did I gain out of it?”. I was on a roll, and I didn’t know if I was going to stop. “He broke my heart, he cheated on me and then he left me. That doesn’t say very much about me, does it?”.
“Ava”. He warned.
“It’s the truth Jared but here I am. I came back and fell straight back in love with him and what does he do. He runs off on a job because he needs to clear his head. Why does he need to clear his head, what happened last night that was so bad?”.
“Club business darling. You know you shouldn’t be asking me that”.
“Of course it is”. Rolling my eyes I got to my feet. “It always is”. Grabbing the wine from the fridge I filled my glass to the top bringing the bottle with me. “Blaze forgets I’m tougher than I look. He forgets all the shit I went through because of this stupid club”.
“Do you not think that broke him. It kills him every damn day what they bastards did to you”.
“Do you not think it broke me?”. I yelled. “I was the one that was gang raped Jared”. I hadn’t spoken of that night in years. “I was the one they took turns on; I was the one they cut like a piece of meat”.
“Stop it sweetheart”.
“But here I am”. I scowled.
“You’re running your mouth Ava. Everything he does is for you”.
“No everything he does is for the club”. I sighed falling into the couch. “But I stay, I’m still here because he’s the love of my life and I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I just want him home Jared”.
“Fuck this, get ready I’m taking you to him”.
“What, no. He’s on a job, he doesn’t need me there distracting him”.
“Nah darling that’s exactly what he needs. When he’s like this we all know there’s only one person that can fix it. Pack a bag and be ready in 5”. Pulling out his phone he brought it to his ear.
…
“Please tell me he knows I’m coming?”. I didn’t want him to be angry because I decided to show up.
“He doesn’t darling, but he’ll be glad you’re there. You just need to look after him and get his head back in the game”.
Luke had dropped off my car and Jared took it upon himself to drive us to Markos. “Should I give him a heads up?”. I didn’t want to just show up unannounced. His head wasn’t right when he was feeling like this, and I didn’t want him to take all his shit out on me. We all know he had a way with words.
“That’s your call Ava”.
“I swear Jared if he’s pissed off then I’m kicking you in the nuts”. Bringing my phone to my ear it started ringing but I wasn’t getting an answer. “It’s just ringing out”. Now I was a little nervous. Hanging up I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip.
“He’s not going to be pissed at you for showing up, calm down woman”.
Turning on the radio I leaned my head against the window. It would take us a few hours to get to Markos. “Why is it that you don’t off load on your wife’s after a job?”.
“Don’t have a wife darling”. He smirked.
“You know what I mean. Why does he have to keep everything to himself?”. He tells me the bare minimum.
“He tells you what he needs to”.
“Right”.
“It’s best you don’t know everything anyway sweetheart. You wouldn’t approve”. He grinned.
“So, are you going to tell me where Sasha is?”. I asked deciding to change the subject.
“She’s safe if that’s what you’re asking”.
“That’s not what I asked Jared. Are you two okay or-…”
“We’re trying to work things out but it’s not going so well. I’m struggling to move past her sleeping with someone else”.
“Do you love her?”. I asked. He was the one always reminding me why I loved Blaze.
“I was gonna marry her Ava, but I guess she couldn’t wait any longer. You wanna stop for coffee?”.
“You were on and off for a while were you not?”. As he pulled into a gas station, I guessed we were stopping for coffee.
“I didn’t fuck anyone else during that time though Ava. You want coffee?”.
“Tea please”. He may not have had sex with anyone else, but I knew he wasn’t always faithful. You don’t need to have sex to cheat. “And maybe some hot flavoured chips”. I was in the mood for something spicy.
Dialling his number again I brought the phone to my ear, but it was still ringing out. Sighing I ran a hand over my face. This was a bad idea, but I had to see him. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to run.