I remember being that girl. I knew exactly how she was feeling, and it wasn’t nice. I knew my truth and when I look back at what I went through, what we went through I didn’t quite believe that I would end up back where it all began. I didn’t ever believe that it would have ended up the way it did, but love was love and it was a powerful thing.
Feeling his presence behind me he placed his hand on my shoulder. “You good baby, need anything?”. And deep down I was thankful that I was here and that I was surrounded by the people I loved.
“I’m good”. Placing my hand on his I squeezed. “You good?”.
“Always beautiful”. Bending down he kissed my cheek. “Got a little business to take care of with your old man but I’ll be back soon”.
“Okay”.
“He really loves you”.
“He does”. I agreed. “Luke seems like one of the good ones Kasey. I wouldn’t give up on him so soon. Getting patched into the club isn’t easy and you can see how badly he wants it. It’s up to you on what you decide but I’d maybe wait it out just a little longer”.
“Maybe you’re right”.
The clubhouse was quiet, everyone had headed out only a few club girls were left. I couldn’t stop thinking about Kasey. Talking with her brought back a lot of bad memories and a lot of pain.
Frowning I looked down at my ring and it brought me back. It wasn’t all bad memories; we had some good times together. I would never forget my past, but I was more excited for my future. We were finally where we wanted to be. Smiling I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip. Blaze wasn’t home yet but it was nearly midnight, and I was getting tired.
“Sandra?”.
“Yes sweetie?”. She smiled.
“You lock up if you’re leaving, I’m going to head to bed”.
“Sure thing. Goodnight Ava”.
It was the coldness of his skin against mine that woke me. Groaning I turned around opening my eyes. “What time is it?”. I whispered.
“Late baby”. Brushing his nose against mine he kissed my lips. “You, okay?”.
“I’m okay”. Moving closer to him I lay my head against his chest. He’d been for a shower; I could feel the wetness against my cheek. “You smell good”. I mumbled.
“How about tomorrow we go pick up a few things for Everleigh starting preschool?”.
Last time we were meant to go out as a family he forgot. “You sure you aren’t busy?”. I asked. He was always up to something.
“Nah sweets. We’ll make a day of it and its bout time I take my girls out”.
Hearing him say his girls always made me smile. “Okay then. It’s a date”. I smiled.
…….
It was quiet.
Everleigh was enjoying her breakfast whilst I was onto my third cup of coffee. She had been awake before the birds. Blaze was yet to make an appearance, but he did have a late one.
“Mommy all done”. Pushing her plate away from her she grabbed her iPad and ran off through to the living area.
I hadn’t told Everleigh what we were doing today because I still wasn’t sure it was happening. I wasn’t convinced that he wasn’t too busy to take us out.
I didn’t want to get her hopes up, I didn’t want to get mine up. We hadn’t spent much time together as a family. I knew he was busy; I knew he didn’t like to tell me what he was up to but that didn’t stop me from worrying every time he left.
It was still early. My dad didn’t stay around the clubhouse much anymore. My mom preferred him home with her. Anytime he was here I knew they’d had a disagreement but that was none of my business. He was getting old, too old to be hanging around here looking at young tits and ass.
Rolling my eyes at my own thoughts I stared out the window as I heard the roar of the first bike to arrive. Sipping my coffee my eyes squinted as he pulled his helmet off.
What was Duke doing here? Wasn’t it time he went back to him own club. I didn’t not like Duke, but we still bumped heads whenever we were around each other. It’s probably the reason he joined Markos club instead of coming home. I didn’t blame him; it was better this way.
He saved my life, but I still hadn’t forgotten what he did when I first met him. I extended my olive branch and he accepted that was that.
Putting on some fresh coffee I went about making some breakfast. If he was here, then he was here for a reason.
“Awk sweetheart you shouldn’t have”. He smirked removing the shades from his eyes. The smell of the bacon was making my stomach grumble.
Rolling my eyes I poured him a cup of coffee. “Always nice to see you Duke”. Smiling tightly, I passed him the mug.
“Pleasure is all mine darling. He here?”. Taking a seat, he pulled out his smokes.
“He’s still sleeping. He didn’t get in till late”. Turning over the bacon I cracked some eggs into a bowl mixing in some cheese. “You staying for breakfast?”. I asked already knowing the answer. If it was one thing I learned, they loved to eat especially when someone else was cooking it. “Of course, you are”. I sighed putting the eggs onto the stove.
“Stupid question if you ask me darling”. Grinning he lit up a smoke. “Besides we’ll need a big breakfast for the day ahead”.
Instantly I had a bad feeling in my stomach. He was here to see Blaze which meant there was probably a job waiting to be done.
Putting some bread in the toaster I turned down the heat on the stove. If Blaze had a job on, then why did he agree to take us out? Grabbing a plate from the draining board I started to plate up the eggs and bacon.
“So, what are you getting up to today then?”. Spreading some butter on the toast I placed it on the side of his plate and passed it to him.
“Now that would be telling”. He winked taking the plate from me.
Was worth a shot.
Turning my attention to the dishes I didn’t hear him come in.
“The fuck are you doing in my house eating my food cooked by my woman”. He growled causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand.
“You should have some it’s delicious”. Duke laughed.
Drying my hands I poured a new cup of coffee. “Calm down cave man I’ll fix you a plate”. Kissing his cheek I gave him the coffee. Gripping my wrist, he pulled me in for a proper kiss.
“Morning baby”.
Cheeks flushed I went about fixing him a plate.
“Why are you here so damn early?”. He asked Duke as he took a seat.
“I fucking knew you’d have forgotten”. Duke sighed shaking his head. “We gotta ride out to Markos he’s got that thing for us to take care of”.
I knew right then I needed to make myself scarce. I also knew that we weren’t going to be spending the day together. Placing his plate in front of him I went to see what my child was up to.
“Hey baby”. I whispered taking a seat next to her. “What are you watching?”. Lifting her onto my knee I breathed deeply. This little human was my life, and I was going to make sure that she had the best of what I could give her.
“Peppa Mommy”. She giggled. “It’s funny”.
My heart.
“How about we go to the park today. We can get some ice cream and you can pick out a new dolly. Does that sound fun?”.
“Yeah, mommy ice cream. Uncle Duke”. She screamed pushing her way off my knee. “I get ice cream”.
Smiling I watched as he swung her up and into his arms. “Wanna come have a shot of Uncle Dukes bike?”.
“Duke, don’t you dare”. I yelled but it was no point. Sighing I ran a hand through my hair a yawn escaping my mouth. I had been up for hours; I was ready for bed already.
“Tired sweets?”. Sitting next to me he placed his arm around my shoulders. “Should have woken me this morning”.
“No point in both of us being tired”. Leaning my head against his shoulder I shut my eyes.
“Look babe about today-…”
“It’s fine”. Opening my eyes, I sat forward. “I didn’t tell Everleigh so she’s not going to be disappointed”. I shrugged getting to my feet. I was a tiny bit pissed off. This happens all the time. I know he’s got things that he has to do and that he can’t say no too but come on.
I was lonely.
“Wait a damn minute Ava”. Shooting up from his seat he grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward him. “I gotta do this babe”.
“And I said it was fine”. My voice was stern. I didn’t mean to sound pissed off, but I couldn’t help it. “I’ve told her we’ll go to the park; we’ll get some ice cream. You’ve got stuff to do and that’s okay”.
“You’re pissed off”.
“Used to it”. The words were out before I could stop them. “Sorry”. I winced.
“Not the life you expected, is it?”. Rubbing a hand over his face he grabbed his smokes.
“You’re never around”. I sighed “She needs you in her life Blaze”.
“Don’t start this, Ava. You know what I do, you know I don’t have a choice”.
“I’m lonely”.
“Babe”.
“I’m going to shower and get ready I won’t be long”.
“Are we fighting Ava?”.
I didn’t have it in me to fight. I just wanted him to be around more. Was that too much to ask? Or was I just overreacting?
“No Blaze we aren’t fighting. Keep an eye on her I won’t be long”.