“Ava”.
The anger in his voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand. I wasn’t afraid to admit that my dad was terrifying at times. Turning around a sigh fell from my lips as I pushed the door open further.
“Get in here and shut that door”.
Doing as I was told I stood awkwardly at the other end of the table. He was sat, a drink in front of him and smoking a cigarette. My old man was getting old. The worry lines, the grey hair and yet he was still fighting, still running around as if he was twenty.
Would he ever give up his title?
“You trying to take my grandbaby away from me?”.
His question broke my train of thought. Was he joking? Rolling my eyes, I jumped when his hand slammed down on the table.
“Don’t fucking stand there and roll your eyes at me. Fucking walking around here running your damn mouth, who do you think you are?”. Rising from his seat I took a step back. “Talking smack to your mam, your attitude fucking stinks Ava and its time you realise where the fuck you are. This is my house, my fucking rules. Speak down to your mom like that again and you best run and run damn fast”.
A lump had appeared in the back of my throat. I was in shock at what he had just said. I wanted to be strong, I wanted to say something, but no words came out. Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip a lone tear slid down my cheek.
“And enough with the fucking crocodile tears. You wanna be an old lady Ava, well start fucking acting like one and do as your told”. Watching as he knocked back his drink my eyes fell into slits as I glared at him.
“Fuck you”. I hissed my hands balling into fists. Who did he think he was? I wouldn’t allow him to speak to me like that. Dad or not he was being a fucking asshole.
His eyes darkened; his nostrils flared.
“The fuck did you-…”
“Fuck you”. Gritting my teeth, I took a step forward. “I’m not my mother and I won’t stand here and let you speak to me like that. And as for being an old lady, I don’t fucking care anymore, and I don’t care about your club. I’m done”.
His eyes shifted; his expression changed. He knew I was serious.
“No one will ever tell me what to do, no one will ever control me. It’s best you remember that old man”. Turning my back on him I slammed the door shut behind me.
I was shaking, I was angry. I had never stood up to my dad like that.
Leaning against the door I placed my hand over my heart and tried to calm my breathing. I could hear the faint sound of music and the smell of food made my stomach growl. Taking a deep breath, I headed back into the bar area.
Everyone was here. Drinks were flowing and the room was filled with chatter.
The first thing I noticed was the banner.
‘Congratulations Ava & Blaze’
Blaze was sat with Jared, Cage and a few other brothers. No one had noticed my appearance, but I was taking everything in. The chat, the laughter. I didn’t want to celebrate. Not like this. I wasn’t sure Blaze, and I were even speaking, and I had just had a bust up with my dad.
“There she is”. My mom grinned. “Come get a drink”. Linking her arm through mine I stopped her from trying to pull me away.
“I’m going to check on Everleigh”.
“No need, she’s running around here somewhere”.
“Mommy”. Her high-pitched squeal alerted every one of my presence. Blaze’s eyes met mine but for the first time ever I looked away.
“Hey baby”. I grinned lifting her into my arms. “Has she had sweets?”.
“Awk Ava she’s a kid she’s meant to have sweets”. My mom sighed taking her from my embrace. “Go play with Leighton while I get mommy a drink sweetheart”. As she kissed her head, she placed her back onto her feet.
“Yeah, but she’s my kid and I don’t want her teeth to rot”.
“Seriously A what is wrong with you tonight?”.
“This”. Waving my arms around I shook my head. “I don’t want any of this. I never asked for any of it and yet you went ahead and did it anyway”.
“You’re getting married”. Her voice was soft as she reached out and took my hand.
“Am I? Because my so-called husband to be can’t even move in with me. Wants to wait it out. It’s always about the club and do you know what I’m sick of it”. I hissed pulling my hand from hers. “I’m not staying but by all means you guys enjoy my engagement”.
Disappearing out the front door the cold air hit me like a train, but it was welcomed. I didn’t know what I was doing. Was I being stupid? Should I slap a smile on my face and go back? Was I making a big deal out of nothing?
On a more serious note, did I just call off my engagement?
Lighting up a cigarette I sighed as I heard the creek of the door being opened. “I just want to be on my own for a few minutes”. I didn’t want to argue with anyone else tonight.
“But you’ll make an exception for me”. Hissing he gripped my shoulder as he sat down beside me. He shouldn’t even be here. His body needed to rest.
“You should still be resting. What is it with guys in this bloody clubhouse. None of you know how to look after yourselves properly”.
“That’s what an old lady is for”.
I turned my head so fast I’m surprised I didn’t pull a muscle.
“I’m kidding”. He laughed pushing on my shoulder. “What’s going on with you?”. Stealing the smoke from between my fingers he brought it to his lips taking a draw.
“Nothing I’m fine”.
“You really having second thoughts?”. Passing me back my smoke I gladly took it. “Come on Ava, this is me you’re talking to”. Truth, was I didn’t know what was going on with me. It was like every time we took a step forward something came up and knocked us two steps back. “Has this all stemmed from what happened tonight?”.
I wasn’t giving anything away because I genuinely didn’t have an answer. Yes, it freaked me out and I got scared but the more I think about it the angrier I become. I told myself I wouldn’t let anyone hurt me again and the first sign of trouble hits and what do I do?
Fucking cry.
“I fucking cried Jared. I panicked and I had Everleigh. I should have been strong. What if I couldn’t have protected her?”.
“You are fucking strong and don’t be thinking like that”. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was getting angry. “Fuck Ava, after everything you’ve been through, and you still came out shining at the end of it. You’re a boss darling and don’t let anyone tell you different”.
“Thanks Jared I needed to hear that”.
“Anytime princess”. Smirking at me I gave him the middle finger. “Now I have to make sure he hasn’t shot a prospect”. Helping him get to his feet I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him in for a hug.
“I’ve missed you”. And I did. Jared always knew what to say. He always steered me back in the right direction.
“Missed you too. You gonna save me sometime and go speak to him?”.
“Is he pissed?”. I asked pulling out of his embrace.
“He thinks he’s losing you. You take what you want from that, but I’d get in there before he drinks himself into oblivion”. Kissing the top of my head he left me and headed back inside.
He wasn’t losing me my head just seemed to be all over the place. I wasn’t trying to be pushy or moody I just wanted us together. To have our own space. I knew the club was important to him and at a time in his life it was the only thing he had. Was I being selfish to want him all to myself at times?
I wasn’t ready to go back inside right now and by the sounds of it they were really enjoying my engagement. It should be me that’s enjoying it, I should be in there happy and celebrating but tonight just wasn’t the night for it.
One thing for sure, they all did love a good party.
Walking out into the lot I headed for the play area my dad had built for Leighton. Taking a seat on the swing I looked up into the sky. The stars were out, and it was beautiful. I always liked to come out here, it was always so quiet, peaceful.