Roxanne’s POV:
“You see, my parents were both loving to me, and they did their best to let me know how lucky I was to be born in their care. I knew they had some problems with the coven; sadly, I was too young to understand what they were,” he said, then closed his eyes for a second and opened them. In them, I could see anger as well as sadness.
“The day my parents died was the day I took over the role of master. I inherited it all: properties, lands, and the name itself. Although I had everything, I was broken and empty inside. When I became of age, I turned to look for comfort in women and parties,” he said as I frowned.
My heart was beginning to pick up and ache over his confession.
“I fucked and fed from many elegant ladies who presented themselves to me, but that didn’t make me feel less lonely. I actually became lonelier,” he said as I found myself standing up.
I felt sorry for him, and I really did want to hear the whole story, but it was getting hard for me with each sentence he spoke.
“I know it’s not a pleasant story to hear, but please bear with me,” he said as I turned to face him seriously.
“Did you truly turn to women for comfort?” I asked in a low tone.
He sighed softly, then brushed his hand against his forehead.
“Yes, because I was confused and hurt at that time. I couldn’t understand what was going on with me, and no one seemed to care when I needed them the most. What was I supposed to do? It is and was in my instinct to feed and crave for warmth. No matter what, I couldn’t change back then because my young self was very convinced that it was my only way of survival. I know it must be hard for you to hear, but do you prefer that I lie to you?” he asked seriously.
“No,” I answered in a whisper.
“Then come back here,” he said as he extended his hand to me.
I took it without hesitation and moved, sitting on his lap again, this time facing my back towards him.
He was right. Although I felt jealous over his confession, he did what he thought was right to stay sane at that time. I was supposed to be more understanding as his mate.
“There was a time when I got so tired of everything and lost my will to live. The day I attempted to take my own life, that’s when my lycan made his presence known. It was a shock to me because I had thought I was born a vampire, despite having a lycan mother. The council took it badly, and I became a greater threat to them than I was before. As my lycan grew stronger, I noticed that I had acquired some abilities that were unseen to vampires. As much as I wanted to keep him hidden, he was a part of me, so I began to learn a lot of things about him,” he said, then leaned in and rested his chin against my shoulder.
“My lycan is called Roman, and he is somehow similar to me but very different at the same time. Unlike me, Roman is usually calm and collected no matter what situation we are facing. He is also way more violent compared to me when angered or pissed. You can never truly know at times when he is serious about something or not because he mostly appears playful when in truth he keeps most of his true feelings to himself,” he said, then continued.
“He enjoys things that I don’t, like hating people I respect or going against the coven elders while putting our lives in danger. He manipulates my mind and feelings whenever I become stubborn or go against him,” he said, then laughed softly to himself.
“He is very fond of you, and he is more than willing to protect you from anything and anyone at all costs. To him, you are more than an Alpha queen; you are the woman of his dreams and what he has been waiting for,” he said as I quickly turned and faced him.
“What?” I asked in disbelief.
“Why do you look so surprised? Roman is a lycan; that means he understands wholeheartedly what a mate or bond is to us and feels strongly about you more than I do. I do not mean that I have no feelings for you, but I meant to say he feels more than I do when it comes to emotions. He is as smart as he is deadly, and he is who the council fears the most. That’s why they had to use Bianca to get to me,” he said as I glared at him.
How could he be so calm when he knew that the lady was being used by the coven elders to get to him?
“Bianca was a close friend of my parents who did everything in her power to protect them when they were alive, and because of that, I have so much respect for her. There was a time when I shared a bed with her, but that was a long time ago. When she asked me if I was willing to work hand in hand with the coven elders, I was reluctant to agree. In fact, I was ready to refuse. But when she assured me that they were going to avenge my parents’ death, I agreed instantly because I wanted…” he trailed off.
“To kill Ian. Since then, I became their puppet and did as they wanted, even when Roman was against it. My life was…”
“I have heard enough,” I said and then stood up.
I was angry and so fucking jealous of his relationships with other females, but nothing could compare to how I felt about Bianca. I wanted to crush that bitch’s heart or rip her head off each time her name was mentioned by him.
“Won’t you tell me about your wolf?” he asked.
“She’s an Alpha queen. That’s all there is to know,” I answered coldly.
I was pissed at him for being so fucking weak to sex, and at Roman for not showing his presence to me all this time.
“You aren’t playing fair,” he said softly as I chuckled.
“Says the man who was sleeping around like a fucking madman,” I spat mockingly.
When the room went quiet, I looked at him apologetically.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling bad about my words.
“I had no way of predicting the future. Do you not know that? How the fuck was I supposed to know I would be mated to a she-wolf? I wouldn’t just keep my chastity like some freak. I’m a man, an old one at that. Just because I look like I’m in my late twenties, it doesn’t mean I am. For crying out loud, I’m nearly forty years old!” he exclaimed as I angrily pointed at myself.
“I’m a virgin, okay? And I’m past twenty years old, so I guess that makes me a freak, old man!” I screamed at the top of my voice.
The room went quiet, and all we could hear was our heavy breathing.
How did we go from talking nicely to each other to screaming? Was it because I couldn’t contain my emotions?
He sighed heavily, then stood up and moved closer, standing in front of me.
“Roxanne, you are not a freak at all. You staying pure is you being strong. You are way stronger than I was back then, and that makes me very happy. I was really weak back then. I’m sorry,” he said as I blinked back the tears that were forming in my eyes.
“To be honest, Roman and I look forward to experiencing all your firsts with pride,” he said. I felt my cheeks heat up.
I quickly faced the ground and nervously rubbed my eyes. I wasn’t expecting him to apologize or react in such a way. With each passing hour, I felt us getting closer than we already were.
“So, will you tell me a little bit about your wolf?” he asked softly.
I looked at him, then swallowed hard.
“Well, her name is Astrid, and she is very different from me too. She is an Alpha queen, not in name alone, but in actions. She takes pride in leading the warriors in training and taking on tasks that are usually hard for a normal werewolf to deal with. She bows to no one except our parents, and she goes hard for those we love, and that includes putting our lives in danger for their sake,” I said, then ignored her when she growled at me.
She wanted me to only say nice things about her and leave out the other things that didn’t sound so good.
“She has never experienced love with any man besides you. She actually hated Larson way before I began avoiding him. To her, he was a hindrance and a nuisance to finding you,” I said as he laughed softly.
“She holds me down whenever I feel sad or confused, and she takes no pride in nonsense. She never hesitates or thinks twice about taking an enemy’s life who proves to be a threat to us, and she rarely talks. The only time I witnessed her talk so much was when she took over to go out hunting with my mother,” I said, then tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
“She is also patient, kind, loyal, understanding, and loving. When we first met you, she was so happy to finally be in your presence because she looked forward to that day a lot in our pack. Even when you had hurt us, she got upset but easily forgave you with time. I really can’t say everything about her, but all I know is that she is quite unique and different,” I said honestly.
He frowned for a second, then smirked.
“I think we are a match made in hell because she sounds exactly like Roman’s type,” he said as I laughed loudly while Astrid purred in approval.
“She’s happy to hear that,” I then seriously looked into his eyes.
“That makes the two of them,” he answered as he closed the space between us.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“For what?” I asked.
“Everything,” he answered, then grabbed my hand.
“Let me walk you to your room,” he said as I forced myself to nod.
I wanted to spend more time with him, but at the same time, I was very grateful that he kept his word of not embracing me against my will.
“Thank you too,” I whispered as I ignored my wolf’s growl of disapproval.
She wanted to stay and mate with him today because the mood was perfect at the moment, and she feared he might change his mind and actions any day it would hit him how Ian was still our father.