Josh
Over the next four months, Lena and I grew closer. By unspoken agreement, we didn’t see each other outside the club, except on the occasions I drove her home. We kept our physical distance, although she took to hugging me hello and goodbye, and now and then one of us would venture as far as a cheek kiss.
Mentally, though, it seemed as if we got closer every time we talked, sharing details of our lives that most people didn’t know. I couldn’t get her out of my mind and looked forward to every club night with an enthusiasm that part of me found kind of pathetic.
We still provoked each other, testing the depths of our mutual attraction, and at times, all I wanted was to order her to her knees. Your resistance had crumbled somewhat, but since her moment of weakness in my car-when she’d asked me to kiss her-she’d rebuilt her walls a little. If I moved too soon, she’d only build them higher. Since I now knew why keeping her distance was so important to her, I was content to let it go on for a while. She needed her autonomy for now, and if she needed to carry on with our game to be comfortable with what she felt for me, I could live with it.
Even though sometimes my sexual frustration was overwhelming.
After the incident with Ben and his gambling buddies, the club’s patrons seemed to grow less interested in what happened between me and Lena. That was a relief-Lena was complicated enough on her own. I didn’t need the extra conflict.
She topped Tamara and Danny on occasion, and I continued to play with Alex, though only ever at the club. We dissected each other’s techniques, flirting whenever the chance came up, and she let me know a little something more about her preferences as a submissive by the end of every club night, dropping them like breadcrumbs for me to follow.
On one such night, I watched Lena dancing and pondered the
wisdom of asking her to kneel for me. It was nearly eight months from the date of our first meeting. All this time, I’d been waiting for her to act, but part of me wondered if she were just testing me, expecting me to take matters into my own hands and prove my dominance. I wouldn’t have put it past her.
Before I could decide one way or the other, Alex grabbed Lena’s arm, pulling her to a stop and yelling something into her ear.
Lena’s eyes widened, then her gaze flitted to me for the briefest of moments before she pivoted to look toward the club’s entryway. She smiled-genuinely, as far as I could tell-and ran toward a tall blond man who had just walked in, throwing her arms around him and then yelling something in his ear.
Watching her reunion with someone I’d never seen before, I became slowly aware of the gazes of some of the other patrons resting upon Lena, then upon me. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this guy was an ex of hers-maybe even the guy Mel had mentioned, the one she’d submitted to in the past.
I didn’t know how Lena would react to the new development, but if she decided to submit to him, that would be her choice-no matter how much a certain part of me snarled possessively at the idea.
The guy asked Lena something, and she took his hand in reply, grabbing Alex’s at the same time. Dragging them both behind her, she led them to the dance floor, whirled into his arms for a brief moment, and then away again.
Tamara slipped into the seat Lena had vacated ten minutes earlier. “Don’t worry, Josh. You know she’s yours, in everything but name.”
I’d gotten to know Tamara pretty well over the past few months, and I shrugged, sipping my beer before replying. “I’m not gonna take that for granted. First thing I said to myself when I met her.”
Lena’s casual sub shook her head. “I’ll give you the context. That’s Matt. He’s been gone for around…three years, now? Close enough,
anyway. Lena subbed to him for a good few months, and they stopped a little while before he left town. He was never her boyfriend, as far as commitment goes. Just a regular play partner with benefits.”
I’m not even that. I shook my head at her, appreciating the sentiment, but not wanting to seem too insecure about it. “You don’t have to tell me this. None of my business, after all.”
“Yeah, it is. I want you guys to get together, and not because of some stupid betting pool. Because, duh…if there’s chemistry between any two people in this room, it’s you and Lena.” Tamara watched the dance floor as the current song ended, and Lena began to make her way back over towards us, Alex and her newly acquired friend in tow. “She’s just excited to see him. Nostalgia, you know?”
“I know.”
We didn’t have time to say anything else. People were getting up to welcome Lena’s ex-Dom back, and Lena herself took the opportunity to slip away before I could catch her eye. She was heading for the ladies’ room,
and after Tamara had given Matt a brief hug hello, she excused herself. I guessed it was time for a girl talk, however those things worked.
If she told Lena I was jealous, Lena wouldn’t be the next one tanning her hide in the dungeon.
* * * *
Lena
I stared at my reflection in the mirror, conflicted. Of all the times for Matt to show up, it had to be now. I’d been thinking of giving in and kneeling for Josh…if not tonight, then at the next club night in two weeks. And then Matt had walked through the door and spoiled my plans.
Okay, it shouldn’t have mattered. The past was the past, and I was over Matt. Acting submissive around him was pretty instinctive, though. What if Josh notices? What if he backs off? What if I’ve missed my chance?
Tamara interrupted my train of thought, pushing through the door and leaning on the counter by the washbasins, her eyes sympathetic. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I met her gaze in the mirror and sighed, knowing I wasn’t fooling her. “No.”
“It’s kind of a mess, huh?” Tamara leaned over to give me a brief hug, and I closed my eyes, drawing strength from her support before pulling back. “Josh is a little blindsided, but he’s cool. Says he’s gonna let you make your own decisions.”
I wondered how exactly she’d gotten that information. “What, did he make a public announcement?”
Tamara rolled her eyes. “No. I told him not to worry, and he said it was your call.”
That made me feel a little better, at least. “What do I do when I go out there, Tam? Where do I sit? Who do I talk to first? It’s like this horrible, messy minefield of protocol, and I don’t know what to do.”
“Go sit at Josh’s feet. Screw what Matt wants.”
I imagined doing just that, a tiny shiver of desire traveling down my spine. It would be a good solution, except… “What if Josh thinks I’m just doing it to prove a point to Matt? That wouldn’t be fair to him, not after all these months.”
Tamara shook her head, making a few minor adjustments to her hair, and using the mirror for guidance. “It’s a mess. But it’s nobody’s fault. How about you just go out there and have a drink? Sit with me and
Danny, and just take things as they come?”
“But then Josh might think I’m ignoring him, and Matt might ask me to play, and…” My brain felt scrambled, and I gave a wordless cry of frustration, giving up. “Fuck it. I’ll deal with it when it happens.”
Tamara laughed. “Good call. Ready to go back out there?”
I thought about it. Deep breath in, and then out… “Okay. Let’s go.”
We headed back out into the club, and I sensed more than one curious pair of eyes on me as I approached our group. Josh caught my gaze as I sat down a couple of seats away from him, and I smiled at his obvious
concern. Whatever he saw in my face, it was enough to reassure him, and he turned to listen to something Izzy was saying-not dismissing me, but letting me do my own thing. Thank you, Josh.
The atmosphere was fairly relaxed, but as a few people jumped up to dance, Matt scooted over to talk to me. “How’ve you been, Lena?
Really?”