She starts up the movie and we sit back, both digging into the meals that will surely ruin any appetite for dinner. We are halfway through the movie and our pints when Tessa’s phone rings.
“You’re interrupting girls’ night, I’ll have you know. And the penalty for your crime is death by dick removal.”
I giggle around my spoon, my eyes widening as Leonardo DiCaprio snorts coke off some chick’s ass.
“Hmm, you’re so hilarious. And that’s none of your business. I think you’ve done enough damage to warrant a lifetime of therapy.” I meet her eyes briefly before she turns her head. “Just leave her alone. If she wants to talk to you, she’ll talk to you.”
I don’t need two guesses to know who she is talking to. And a part of me that I don’t want to acknowledge wishes she is on a land line so I can pick up and listen in.
“I have no idea, but whatever it is, it won’t be involving you. Now leave us alone so we can watch all this coke get snorted in a way that is definitely heating up everything south of my waist.” She tosses her phone onto the coffee table. “Sorry about that. Apparently, you’re hard to forget.” She smiles coyly at me and I brace myself for what she’s about to say. “But that wouldn’t affect you, because it’s my brother we’re talking about.
Right?”
“Right,” I affirm without hesitation. I’m not falling into that trap. I keep my attention on Leonardo and far away from thoughts of Benjamin Kelly.
“I mean, it’s not like he was sweet and playful with you or anything.”
“Nope. Not at all.”
“And it’s not like he gave you this beautiful experience to treasure for the rest of your life. That so wasn’t Ben.”
“It so wasn’t.”
“And he’s definitely not the guy that as you so sweetly put it, worked your pussy until you hummed between your legs for hours afterwards.” I hear her smile through her words, but I don’t turn away from the TV. I don’t want to crack.
“Definitely not him.” I’m struggling, really struggling not to break. I feel keyed up all of a sudden, like my body is fully charged and ready to go. I’m beginning to fidget and it doesn’t go unnoticed.
“Quick question. What did Ben call you when he fucked you, since he didn’t know your name?”
“Baby. Angel. Pretty girl,” I blurt out in the most crushing on a boy sort of way. Even my voice raises an octave. Fuck. I turn toward her then. She won and she knows it, and the smile on her face only adds to my irritation. “I hate you.”
“You put up an impressive fight, I’ll give you that.” She chucks a pillow at me, hitting me square in the face. “Just admit that you kind of like the idea of my brother knowing all the intimate details of your body.”
“Never.” I tuck the pillow she hit me with behind my head, taking a giant spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. I need a gag at the rate she’s going with this conversation. I know the more we talk about this; the greater chance of me slipping up and saying something I don’t want to reveal.
“This might seem borderline inappropriate.”
“Oh, God. Please spare me.” I’m shoveling ice cream into my mouth at an impressive rate now. Borderline inappropriate for Tessa means cover your ears and please escort all children out of the state.
She turns her body, tucking her legs underneath her ass. “Is he like really big? Because I’ve heard rumors.” She holds her hands out in front of her, measuring a distance between the two. “Nine inch rumors.”
“Jesus Christ.” I shouldn’t be surprised. I really shouldn’t. This is Tessa Kelly we’re talking about. She is comfortable enough talking about sex with anybody. Confessional priests included. I’m sure the number of Hail Marys she’s been told to recite is in the hundreds. I drop my spoon into my empty container and sigh heavily. “Why would you want to know that about your brother? That’s incredibly weird.”
“So I can high five you. Losing your virginity to someone as massive as he may or may not be is worthy of a damn award.” She places her hand lovingly on my knee, but there is nothing tender about this chat. Her tactics are a ploy, a cover to make this conversation seem innocent. “And since your mouth was wrapped around his nine incher, I’m figuring you’d be able to vouch better than anyone.”
I push her dirty hand away. “For your information, my mouth was not wrapped around him. All of his nine inches stayed in between my legs the entire night.”
“Ah-ha! So I can believe everything I’ve heard.” She holds her hand up to me, and after several long seconds of debating her gesture, I oblige her with a high five. “Fucking right. I’m jealous. Eight’s my biggest number.”
“How unfortunate.” I grab the remote and turn up the volume. “Can we please watch the rest of the movie? I’m done discussing your brother’s anatomy with you.” His damn fine anatomy.
“Alright, alright. But answer me one last question before we finish this.” I look over hesitantly. Lord knows what she could hit me up with next. She smiles. “How are you, anally speaking? Still virginal?”
“Very.”
“Well, that’s probably wise considering what he’s working with.”
The pillow that she used to hit me with is now striking her against the face. “You really should come with a warning label. Please keep away from small children, the elderly, and anyone with a pacemaker.”
She chuckles, pulling her long auburn hair back into a pony. “As should you. Please keep all dicks less than nine inches away from this pussy, because the bar has been set.”
I feel my face heat up instantly. Is it weird to agree with her on that assessment? I mean, surely there aren’t many dicks out there that could compare to what Ben was so beautifully graced with. I’ve seen my fair share of pornos, and even those dicks couldn’t hold a candle to his. I slam my head back onto the sofa and stare at the TV. Damn it, Ben. Not only have you ruined my life, but you’ve also ruined all average dick sizes for me. Now I’m going to compare each and every appendage to yours. Thanks a lot, asshole.
* * *