Robbie
I was defending her, and she kicked me out. That makes absolutely no fucking sense. She should have booted the little dickhead that thought he could push me around. Does he know who I am? Little fucking twit.
I can hear her talking to them; the walls are thin. I hear her saying that we’re not together, that we’re nothing, and that they don’t have to worry about us. That hurts more than I expect it to. I want her to tell them, yeah, we’re together! What business is it of yours?
I want her to announce our relationship as though it was obviously written in the stars and always meant to be. It makes me feel so insignificant that she won’t fess up to it.
I wait outside as the men file past, each of them giving me filthy looks. I try not to smirk at the guy sporting a black eye because of me. I watch them all shuffle down the stairs and away, and then I turn to see Dina coming out, looking directly at me.
I shiver slightly. It’s the coldest look she’s ever given me, which says a lot, considering what she thinks of me and what I did to her when she was twenty-five.
“Go home, Robbie.” It’s another command. She’s acting the boss again, and I step forward so our faces are inches apart. “I promised to protect you, lass. I’m not going back on that.”
“I’m staying at the Sorvino estate tonight. Someone is already outside to collect me. Go home. You’ve caused enough trouble.” As cold as her stare is, I see the hurt in her eyes. This isn’t about letting me go. This is about showing any prying eyes that we’re not a thing. It’s for show.
I nod and sigh. “Fine. I’ll go home. Boss.”
I turn and walk away, leaving her standing there. I saw the tremble in her hand, even if she thought she was hiding it. I take the stairs to get out quicker. I tell the front desk guards to make sure she gets out safely, and then I get in my car and leave.
It’s late in the day now. We’ve been here for ages. I decide to drive around New York for a while to clear my head. I feel like something is wrapped tightly around my chest, and someone is pulling it tighter and tighter. I consider sending her a text numerous times, and eventually, I message Carmine to ask him if she reached the estate alright.
I get a thumbs up and know she’s okay, especially with the Sorvinos to protect her. I turn around and head back to the pub. I’m late for dinner, and when I walk in, everyone is already eating.
“You’re late.” The comment from Ronan is to tease, but I shrug. I don’t want to talk. I don’t trust my mouth and heart to keep my voice straight and emotionless.
Daniel picks up a plate, dishes some roast meat, potatoes, and vegetables, and pours a generous amount of gravy over everything before passing it to me.
I hate when they baby me, but at the same time, I know it’s the only way they can show me they care without showing weakness.
They did help raise me and Jarryd after our parents died, so they are very protective of us.
I nod as I take the plate and start eating, stabbing the potatoes hard. Ronan leans in and smacks my head softly. “You’re going to damage my dishes, you little shit.”
I smile up at him, my mouth full of potatoes. I sigh and nod. We eat in a more comfortable silence now that Ronan’s broken the tension, and once everyone’s filtered out or moved on to drink at the bar, we sit together, just me and Ronan.
“You want to talk about it?” he asks as Molly sets down a Guinness in front of each of us. I take a deep swig and then wipe my mouth on the back of my arm.
I wait for Molly to be off behind the bar, then look at Ronan. “Have you ever loved someone you shouldn’t have?”
“I don’t know about shouldn’t love them, but I have loved someone deeply. They wouldn’t be with me because of the things I have to do to protect our family and keep everyone where they belong. So we both simply didn’t fall in love with anyone else. She and I probably love each other more than anything, but I respect her.”
I glance over my shoulder as Molly yells at one of the younger lads to get out and then walks from behind the bar toward the kitchen, stopping to take Ronan’s plate. “Take a bath, you smell like a pig.”
“Thanks, Molly.” He chuckles, looks at me, and my mouth drops open.
Molly has been Ronan’s friend since they were wee kids, but she’s not… she’s not… I mean, she’s pretty, but she’s not like drop-dead gorgeous like the lasses that throw themselves at Ronan. She’s plump, and her hair is curly and all over the place, held up with several bobbing pins. Her face is round and pale with a splatter of freckles. She has grey eyes, not deep blue, like most people assume. I cannot picture her as sexy or with my brother because she’s like a ma to me.
Then I suppose Ronan is like a father.
“I’m going to do as she says before I get another earful. Have a good night, lad.” Ronan starts to stand, and I shoot out to grab his arm.
“Ronan, is there no way… You should be happy…”
“When you’re truly in love,” my brother says, “the way Dan loves Nat and the way I love… You put that person’s happiness above everything else. It works easier if you both accept who you are and what you must do, but if what you do goes against everything they stand for… I’m grateful for the company I get. That’s enough.”
He takes his crutches and slides his arms into them. “And if you’ve found someone who accepts what you do is fine, I’d hold onto them tight.”
Ronan leaves, and I sit staring into my pint. Dina needs this position, and she needs the respect. She can’t have me undermining her all the time.
I down the rest of my Guinness before I get up. Molly is coming back from the kitchen, and I smile at her.
She frowns. “And what do you want, you scallywag?”
I chuckle. “Nothing, Molly. Have a good night. I’m off to bed.”
“Good thing, too. Today’s had enough troublemakers.” She clicks her tongue and pats my cheek. “Be careful.”
She goes off, and I walk out of the pub. I can’t believe Ronan has a thing for Molly, but they’ve always been a duo. I never really understood why she hung around us. It isn’t a secret that she disagrees with our lifestyles. I guess now I know she loves Ronan.
I feel what they feel, though, because Dina is my Molly. She needs to do this on her own; she needs to gain the respect of men of all three families, and she can’t do that with my temper outstripping her calm every other meeting.
Once I’m in my apartment, I shower, put on my gray sweatpants, and sit on my bed. I can smell a faint hint of her perfume. I take out my phone and send her a text.
I hate that you’re right, but I see what you mean.
It would be good for us to take a break from each other because all we do is distract one another. I need to take a week anyway to get the men loyal to my brother in one corner. I know you can handle things, and I trust you’ll call me if you need me.
Have a good night, Dina.
I send the text and turn my phone off. I don’t understand why, if it’s the right thing, it feels like someone has shoved their hand through my chest and is trying to rip my heart out.
I miss her already. I want her back in my arms because I know that’s where she belongs.
Isn’t it where she belongs?
Dinara
As I read his message, it’s clear to me that this isn’t what I actually want, no matter what he thinks. I want to be in the apartment, in his arms, safe and sound, knowing that he will destroy the world to love me. Isn’t that the difference between a hero and a villain? He’s a villain. He’ll sacrifice everyone to spare me, to save me, to protect me.
He’s my villain.
But we distract each other, and I agree with him. The traitors are within our ranks, and it’s a good idea to see who is truly loyal to the heads of the family. Whoever it is clearly thinks that the families have gotten soft.
They probably haven’t seen Alessandro recently.
I know his youngest isn’t feeling great, and he isn’t getting sleep, which doesn’t make for a fun, psychotic boss.
I need to weed out the people who are not loyal to the family. I know there are few that I can trust, so when I wake up the next day, I decide to start with Carmine. He’s closely tied to the family through his marriage to Ariana. He’s out at the soundproof shooting range on the other side of the property. I make my way there, my mind trying desperately to stray back to thoughts of Robbie. It doesn’t help that my thoughts are of him driving into me while I’m on my back on the floor. Fuck.
I take a moment to take a breath.
That man.
I push thoughts about him out of my mind as I walk into the shooting range inside the barn-style building. I walk over to where he is loading his gun.
“Hey, Carmine,” I say.
“Hi, Dina. Your message said you needed some help with something?” he asks, setting his gun down. “We’re alone, so you can speak freely.”
“I think someone inside of the families is betraying us. They’re making it seem like the families are attacking each other, but they’re not. I can’t try to weed out both the Italian and Russian sides. Firstly, the Italian men don’t trust me; secondly, it’s just too many to get through. Could you try to see what’s going on? Robbie Quinn will work with the Irish to see who’s still loyal.”
Carmine nods as he listens to me. “I can see who’s still loyal without raising some flags. Alessandro told me this morning that I should share some intel I found with you. There was a witness when the Russians were attacked. Here, this is his address. He goes by the name of Joe.” He hands me a piece of paper, and I take it.
“Thanks, Carmine.” I look at the address written on it. “Hopefully, he’s willing to talk to me.”
“Well, let me know if you find out anything interesting. I’ve been instructed to help you in any way I can in between doing my regular duties.” We both turn to look at the door as Ariana walks in.
“Are you ready for our lesson, Carmine?” she asks, smiling at me.
“Sorry, Dina. I’m going to steal him for an hour.”
I shake my head. “Not at all. I was just leaving. Thanks, Carmine.
I’ll report back my findings.”
I walk out, listening to the two of them giggling. I shut the door behind me, and my heart aches. I want to laugh and tease Robbie and be with him. But I can’t, and I have to learn to accept that.
I get a driver to take me to Joe’s address and knock on his door. An aged man opens the door and looks at me fearfully. “Yes?”
“Hi, Joe? Is your name Joe?”
“I don’t want any trouble.” He’s scared, and I smile reassuringly.
“Mr. Sorvino just wants to know a few things, then I’ll make sure you’re left alone with a little something to help you along.” I smile again, and he nods, glancing around before he lets me in.
He makes us espresso and sits opposite me. “What do you want to know?”
“The day those Russian men were killed, you saw that, right? You saw who it was? Can you tell me about them?” I don’t drink the espresso. I don’t trust drinks from people I don’t know, but if he notices, he doesn’t care.
“There was one man who stood out,” he says shakily. “He had bright blue eyes and pale white skin, and he definitely wasn’t an Italian. I know Italians. I come from a long line of well-bred Italian men.” He gives me a cheeky smile.
I nod. “Go on.”
“I also know Sorvino men. Those weren’t them. They didn’t know I was there, and I heard them mention another family. I can’t be sure, but I
think it was Balducci.” He shivers.
“Balducci? It’s not a name I’ve heard before,” I muse. “Did you tell anyone else this?’
“No one but Mr. Carmine knows what I saw,” he says. “I asked him not to involve me.”
“I won’t either,” I promise as I stand. “I promise you’ll be compensated. Thank you, Joe.”
Before he can say anything else, I leave. I asked the driver to take me back to the main offices. Once in my room, I sit down and use my access to the police database to search for the Balducci family. I don’t find anything on any families known as Balducci.
I message Carmine to ask for his advice.
Can’t find anything on a possible lead. Do you know a Balducci family?
I wait impatiently, and then my text goes off.
Asked Arianna, and she said it can be spelled Baldocchi. Try that. It sounds familiar.
I enter it into the database, and hits immediately start popping up. It’s primarily crimes relating to a young family that are new to the police in New York. New to us, too, I guess.
I immediately call Carmine. “The old man says that someone not Italian was there, someone pale with blue eyes. We need to figure out who that was to see who’s betraying the family.”
“It will be a bit difficult, considering all the video footage for that spot was erased. Whoever did it knows what they’re doing.” Carmine sighs.
“What about traffic cameras?” I ask. “The cameras leading out of that area. Can we search those?’
“It’ll take long, but if you can get the footage, I’ll help you go through it. I don’t mind. Do you have a connection?” he asks.
“Yes, I have a way to get the footage, but it will take us a couple of days to go through it. I suggest we set up a room at the estate. We’ll be safer there.” I logged out of the system and shut down.
“Okay, let the driver bring you back once you’ve got the footage. If we can find video evidence of these fuckers we can put out a target on them and also hopefully find out who their inside man is.”
We hang up, and I leave the office, instructing the driver where to take me. I sit back and think about Robbie. It’s barely been twenty-four hours since we last spoke, and I miss him desperately. And that’s a problem.
That I return the same feelings he has for me, and that’s going to get the two of us killed.
I can’t avoid him forever, but I need to put some distance between us somehow.
The days tick by as we spend every waking hour, with hardly any sleep, combing through the various exits from that area. It takes just over a week, but we finally figure out which car our attackers are in.
“Yup, it’s definitely these guys. There’s a hit on every one of them on the police database,” I say, yawning slightly.
Carmine nods, downing another cup of coffee. “Still can’t tell who the other guy is.”
“We have to keep looking, but at least we know and have proof the killers aren’t our men.” I smile. “That should ease the Russians quite a bit.”
“I’ll get this information to Alessandro,” Carmine says. “You get some rest.”
“I think that’s a great idea,” I say, yawning again. We need to keep looking for the traitor, but tomorrow is another day.”
We part ways, and I go to bed, flopping into it and imagining Robbie there beside me, proud of my hard work.