Natalia
Daniel initially said we wouldn’t be at the apartment long, but it’s been a few weeks, and no one has found us, so I’ve told him to let us stay for now. I’ve considered going out of state and country, but I won’t do that without Ivan’s approval.
If I can get him alone, away from my brother, I can convince him. I can show him that Daniel doesn’t work for the Quinn family anymore and that we are meant to be together.
I stand in front of the mirror in a tank top. My belly protrudes slightly in front of me. I put my hand on my stomach and smile as I look at my side profile in the floor-length mirror.
I want to enjoy my pregnancy and be happy with Daniel, but I can’t stop stressing over my family wanting to attack him, forcing me to go back to them. They’re treating me like a possession instead of a family member.
If I can’t convince Ivan and if the Dons won’t stop the bounty, what kind of life will we give our baby? We will always be on the run, teaching our child code words to know when they’re in danger and where to hide if they hear gunshots. What if we get killed? What will happen to our child then?
Daniel has tried to comfort me. He keeps trying to impose his power and telling me he is a threat to everyone, but it’s not helping.
We’ve been arguing over every little thing for the last two weeks. He leaves, not telling me where he’s going or how long he will be. He has bought things for the baby without me, not even letting me look online.
I feel like he’s treating me like an incubator instead of the woman he claims to love.
I walk to the little spare room where we’ve made a temporary nursery. The bedding is yellow. That was yesterday’s fight. He insisted it had to be yellow where I wanted a mint green. I hate yellow. He refused to budge; he said his decision was final.
He slept on the sofa last night.
I stare at the yellow baby blanket. I know it’s an adjustment, having to think of other people. Since I was young, I was independent. I’ve never needed anyone in my life, but the pregnancy hormones are releasing at full steam, and I’m feeling overwhelmingly emotional.
It is clear as anything that Daniel has never had any sort of relationship. He acts like I can’t do anything, as though I will break if someone so much as looks at me. He’s brought the doctor to the apartment twice to do scans and refuses to let me get fresh air. I’m going crazy being cooped up.
I can make freaking decisions; I’m emotional, not stupid.
I turn around as Daniel comes in carrying shopping bags. As he passes it, he glances into the room. “You should be resting.”
“I’m not an invalid,” I snip. I leave the room and go over to the table where he is setting the bags down. “Did you get more groceries?”
“No, baby stuff.” He lets out a breath. “I wish they’d fix the elevator. Climbing all those stares with packages is getting to be a pain.”
I frown. “I wouldn’t know. I’m being kept prisoner.” Daniel rolls his eyes. “Nat, you’re being unreasonable again.” Again?
Did he say again?
“Okay, that is fucking it,” I scream at him. “I am fucking done with this fucking apartment and hiding and fucking everything.” I storm toward the bedroom to get my coat and put on shoes. “I want to see my brother and sort this out.”
“You go to your brother, you better fucking stay there,” Daniel roars behind me. His words sting, and I glare at him as tears well up in my eyes. I put my coat and shoes on as he fusses in the baby room, I grab my cell phone, and as I leave, I shout, “Fine. I won’t come back.”
I slam the door as hard as possible and start down the stairs. I slow down, though, when I nearly fall over. I listen, but Daniel isn’t following. A panicked part of me wants to go back up, but the angry, stubborn Russian part of me pushes me on. I grab a cab and give him my brother’s address.
I message Evgenii to let him know that I’m on my way to visit and that he’ll have to cover my cab. Then I sit back and burst into tears. I hate that Daniel and I are fighting so much. It feels like I was wrong, and this can’t work out. But I love him so much.
Fuck I’m so confused.
I cry right up until the cab stops. He sits silently, so I glance up and see we’re outside my brother’s house. A guard walks over and gives the cabbie his money and a hundred-dollar tip to make himself scarce.
I climb out and stare at the house. The guards stand near me but don’t say anything at first. I am trying to pluck up the courage to go in when a guard whispers, “Miss Volkov, you’re a sitting duck out here.” “Of course,” I murmur back.
I walk toward the house, open the door and walk in. I glance at the wall calendar as I pass it near the entrance. It’s Tuesday, and Shirley won’t be home. Evgenii comes out of his office and walks in big strides toward me. When he reaches me, he gathers me up in his arms.
I bury my head in his chest and let him hold me. He kisses my head after a few minutes. “I’m so glad you’ve come to your senses and come home.”
My phone goes off, and I glance at it. It’s a message from Daniel.
I’ll fix things. I promise.
Love you
I glance at Evgenii. “I, uh, I was just coming to visit. To make you see reason. Hold on…”
I call Daniel’s phone, but it goes straight to voice mail. I start to worry about what he’s planning to do.
“Ivan is here,” Evgenii says, taking my arm and leading me toward his office. “He wanted to see you when I said you were coming here.”
“I’m… sorry. I’m trying to reach Daniel.”
I walk into the study, and Ivan sits there drinking some whiskey. Ironic, seeing as that’s an Irish drink. I want to reach Daniel and tell him not to do something stupid. What if he dies and the last thing we did was fight? “Natalia?” Ivan snaps his fingers in front of my face. When did he stand up?
“Sorry, I’m distracted.”
“Are you okay? Did he drug you?” I open my mouth to answer, but Ivan talks over me, “Don’t worry. The important thing is that you got away and knew where to go. I’ve already arranged for someone to have your marriage annulled.”
I stare at him. “No, Ivan…”
“Don’t worry, we’ll still welcome your child as a full Volkov despite who his father is,” he says as though he’s assuring me. As though that is what I’m worried about.
I look at Evgenii, who gives me an encouraging smile. “No, I wasn’t planning on staying. I was coming to ask you to call off the hunt for us. I’m tired of hiding. Daniel might have the Quinn surname, but he hasn’t worked for his family in years. He isn’t part of them.”
“By birth, he is, and you should know better than anything that in our world, blood is thicker than water,” Ivan says, sipping his whiskey.
Evgenii tries to get me to sit, but I pull away from him. “I want to be married to him.”
“Natalia, it’s already done. It is my order. You will be a single mother, and yes, that sucks, but you’ll have the family’s full support, which is all you’ve ever needed. I don’t see why it’s not good enough now.” Ivan downs his whiskey and stands, but I glare at him.
“I’m not a fucking possession Ivan. I’m not an immaterial thing you can change ownership of when you feel like it.” I look up at my cousin, but his eyes are cold as he steps forward.
“You have forgotten our ways, the decorum of our society. Now I will forgive you for talking back to me with attitude because you’re pregnant….” I open my mouth, but his glare silences me. “I’m putting it down to you seeing everyone so in love, but Natalia, you knew what this life entailed. You never wanted children or a husband. Now you want to stay with someone who is an enemy of the family. No, don’t tell me about the Sorvinos.” He holds his hand up. “You forget that I am the one who chooses the fate of this family and who we bring into this family, and I’m not bringing in some inbred mutts. My decision is final, and your little adventure with the Irish is over. Evgenii will ensure that you are with a guard all the time so they don’t try anything stupid.”
I sniff and fight back the tears, but he just walks past me. He’s never been that cold to me, and I know there’s no fighting his decision.
I am a prisoner in my own family.
Daniel
I shouldn’t keep fighting with Nat, but I can’t help it. I’m constantly worried that she will get seen or caught, which would cost us everything. I let her walk out that door and regretted it before she was even through. I need to make things right for both of us, so we can be in a relationship without having to look over our shoulders all the time.
There’s only one person who could even begin to help me solve this problem.
Ronan Quinn is my older brother by five years, and he’s never let anyone forget it. He’s the powerful boss of the most prominent Irish family in New York City. Like my father and grandfather before him, my brother likes things to be old-school and traditional, and although his reputation is well-known, people keep his name off their lips.
I stop outside the pub and park. I exit the car but ignore my brother’s men staring at me as I walk into the pub and sit at the bar. My brother is leaning against the back counter, polishing a glass with a cloth. I signal to the waitress behind the bar and nod. “Pint of whatever’s going.”
“I got this, lass,” Ronan says, setting the glass down. He takes a fresh one from the shelf and then goes to the tap and fills the glass. He sets it before me and leans on the bar. “What have you gotten yourself into?” “I need to get some Sicilian families off a bounty. I need your help.” “Have you considered my offer?” he asks, looking at his hands.
“Can’t. I married a Volkov. I was hoping to pay cash for this favor.” I sip the beer, not looking at him.
“A Volkov? Before I tell you what I know, tell me how you got onto her scent.” Ronan takes a whiskey bottle and pours himself a shot.
“I was hired to kill her.” I finally look at him.
Ronan nods. “By these Sicilians?”
“She killed the one Don’s son to secure a great deal of money for
Ivan Volkov. So she cost Don Russo a son and a lucrative deal with an African dictator.” I set my beer down and, holding the glass stare into it. “I love her.”
“Enough to risk your own life, apparently, little brother.” He downs his whiskey and smacks his lips. “But you needn’t worry about the little fact you’re married to her. Apparently, your marriage to the Bratva girl is annulled. She’s not your problem anymore.”
The words sting more than I expect. She had the marriage annulled?
Was she really that angry with me? I sit and think about Ronan’s words. The hurt I’m feeling is a new emotion for me. New? No, maybe just something I haven’t felt since I was a lad. Before I learned that life is unfair and harsh and doesn’t give you a chance. Maybe it hadn’t been Natalia’s decision, or maybe Ivan had forced her to do it or did it without her knowing.
I want to message and ask her, but I must first fix everything and explain why she must marry me again.
“You’re a free man, Danny boy.” Ronan pours another shot of whiskey and pours a second, pushing it toward me. “We can toast to that. Now, I’ll arrange a meeting with these Dons so you can bargain with them if you swear you’ll join the family again.”
A group of men walk into the pub and sit in a booth at the end of the room. I down the whiskey and shake my head.
“We can negotiate the terms, but I want what I want, and you won’t change my mind.” I look into his eyes, my eyes, our mother’s eyes.
Ronan leans on his forearms so his face is close to mine. “What’s that?”
“Natalia.” I don’t shy away from the request. “I want her to be my wife, I want her to be mine, and if you can make that happen, I will be the little soldier that you need.”
Ronan chuckles. “You always were stubborn as a mule. Ma would say once you got something into your head, it would be impossible to change your mind.”
He stands straight and nods behind me. I glance back and see both my younger brothers coming toward us. Robbie is smoking a cigarette while our baby brother, the golden child is what I call him, smiles at me.
Jarryd was a late lamb, twenty years younger than me, and sadly he only got two years with our Ma before she passed. Ronan and I raised him, taught him how to survive life, and protected him until he was old enough to care for himself.
I stand and turn and hug my little brother-all four brothers in one room, all dark red-haired soldiers of the Quinn family.
“It’s good to see you, Dan,” Jarryd says happily, pulling away.
“You’ve missed a lot since you’ve been gone.”
“You haven’t changed at all. Neither has Robbie.” I jerk a thumb behind me in Ronan’s direction. “And this dickhead aged a thousand years.”
“I’m like fine wine,” Ronan announces. “I get better with age.”
“You’re an alcoholic, firstly, and secondly, you wouldn’t be wine; you’d be vinegar. Wine is soft and elegant, and unless you took up ballet, then I don’t think so.” I turn back to him, my brothers laughing at our banter. I won’t take it too far, though. We’re brothers now; in other circumstances, he is my leader-even if I’m the more notorious killer.
“So, can you help me?”
“What are we helping him with?” Robbie asks. “And are there gonna be girls?”
I snort and sit back down. Ronan pours each of my brothers a beer and fills a glass with whiskey for himself. He pulls a chair up to the counter, facing us. “Aye, we’re going to help little Danny Boy. He has a little crush on someone he can’t have, and we must help him make it happen.”
Jarryd spits out his beer. “Sorry?”
Robbie laughs. “Brilliant! A plot twist. Iceman melts and has a heart.”
I sip my beer slowly. By the time I’m half done with it, my brothers are a quarter-way into their second pints.
Jarryd has told me animatedly about the girls he’s been chasing with Robbie and how his record store business is doing well-both legally and illegally. My baby brother has always loved music, so when Ronan bought him the record store, he fell in love.
Then Robbie tells me about the work he’s been doing for Ronan, how they’ve established a high-end bodyguard hiring company.
I laugh when he tells me he wears a suit, that’s so unlike him, but I suppose my falling for a girl also isn’t within the realm of norms for our family. They’re starting their fourth by the time I finish my first.
“Another?” Ronan asks.
I hold a hand up and shake my head.
Jarryd smacks me on the shoulder. “Come on, Dan. Have a beer and tell us what you’ve been doing with your time?”
“You know I don’t divulge clients’ stories.” I give him a small smile.
“At least tell us about the girl, then. Ronan says you are seeing someone you aren’t supposed to be….”
“Shut your gob now, Jarryd. He doesn’t want to talk about it, so leave him be.” Ronan hands me a soda, and I nod my thanks.
Robbie has smoked almost a box of cigarettes and has lit another one. He exhales and shakes his head. “Girls are trouble. I’m telling you, lads. Make love and leave. That’s my way.”
“That was my way,” I comment. “But I must admit, some girls are hard to leave.”
There’s silence for a moment, then Jarryd and Robbie burst out laughing. Ronan hushes them up and lights a cigarette himself. “I assume you’ll stay here while we sort things out?”
“Yes, if you have space.”
“You know we always do, though these clowns live in their own places now.” Ronan motions to Jarryd, who is busy on his phone. “He has an apartment upstairs from his store, and Robbo here, well, he bought a little semi-house not far from here.”
I nod. “And you still live in the flat above the pub.”
“I’ll never leave it. It’s the last home we had with Ma.”
I nod. “I assume it’s my old room, then. I’ll take my things up there while you gents visit. I’m tired and want to get an early start.” I stand up, and Ronan stands as well.
“Danny, you can stay and chat. It won’t kill you.”
“It’s not my way,” I comment. He doesn’t press it and lets me go back to my car and collect my bags. I head upstairs and to my old room. It still has the single bed in the corner and the poster of Steve Earle above it.
I set my stuff down with a sigh. I am going to have to sacrifice my freedom, but it’s worth it if Nat’s life is spared.