Two weeks had slipped by in a haze of raw emotion and endless training, leaving only three weeks until the Advanced Showdown. I glared at the crumpled note lying on my bedside table, hating it and hating myself for ruining my one chance to read it. My mom had written it before she rushed off to help with the rogue attack. But in my blind rage that day, I knocked over countless half-empty coffee cups, drenching the note in my negligence. It lay there, overlooked and soaked, for nearly a month before I could summon the courage-or desperation-to finally return and find it.
A scream of frustration clawed at my throat, aimed at both my mom and myself. She’d always had this habit of leaving half-finished cups scattered around the house, starting a new one before she finished the last. Now, the dark ink on the thin sheet had blurred and dried into an illegible, fragile mess. Only a few words stood out on the page-“Sorry,” “forget,” and “remember”-but none made any sense. They were the only words that hadn’t been stained, preserved like remnants of her voice reaching out from the past. Yet they meant everything and nothing, those fragments of what she’d wanted me to know, left behind in case something went wrong. Now, her last words to me were useless.
With a frustrated growl, I crumpled the note and tossed it across the room. I didn’t want a faded message with smudged secrets-I wanted her, here, to tell me herself. Ever since I’d stormed out of Carlo’s meeting room, anger had been festering inside me, blurring into resentment I could barely contain. Some days, it battered me like a relentless wave, leaving me confused and shaken. I was furious with myself, with everyone around me.
Sofia and Enrico had been kind enough to let me stay in one of their spare bedrooms and had even gathered my things from Carlo’s house. Though I hadn’t seen much of Carlo lately, Sofia said he was giving me space, waiting for me to be ready to talk. I wanted to tell him I understood his reasons, that I knew why he did what he did-but that didn’t lessen the sting of betrayal.
As for Leonardo, he hadn’t come back since Carlo sent him away, nor had he tried to reach out. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that; his absence only fed my anger. I hadn’t felt that all-consuming fire since his departure and wondered if he finally realized the pain he’d caused me. Still, I couldn’t find any explanation for how he’d heard me during the fight, nor could I understand the tangled connection between us.
Most days, I trained, pushing myself harder for the Advanced Showdown coming up in a few weeks. I lost myself in each punch, each kick, letting anger drive me until I had nothing left. And it was after one of these grueling sessions that Carlo found me, pulling me aside with guilt written all over his face.
“Ella, can we talk?” His frown tugged at something in me, his seafoam eyes holding a haunted look only I could soothe.
The feelings I’d once had for him still lingered, stirring up a quiet ache whenever I saw him. It wasn’t as overwhelming as the pain Leonardo caused, but it was unwelcome nonetheless. My gaze caught on the cobalt mark on Carlo’s neck, the outline of a wolf howling at the moon, and I clenched my jaw, pushing down the hurt.
“Sure,” I replied, waiting until I knew my voice wouldn’t break.
Training had just ended, and the groups were dispersing, the warriors’ voices fading into the distance. I leaned against the railing of Carlo’s porch, watching them go, refusing to meet his gaze.
“I know what I did was wrong,” Carlo said, his voice full of regret, “but I swear, I only wanted to protect you.”
“I know.” I finally looked at him, the smallest crack forming in my wall of anger. “But it should have been my choice, Carlo. It wasn’t your decision to make. I had the right to decide if I wanted to see him or not.”
“And… do you? Want to see him, I mean.” There was a hint of possessiveness in his tone, but I brushed it off.
“No, I don’t,” I admitted, the truth of it sinking in. I’d replayed countless scenarios in my head, testing my resolve. “But that doesn’t make what you did any better.”
“I know.” He looked down at his hands, a shadow passing over his face. “If I could undo it, I would.”
“There’s no point in holding a grudge,” I sighed, feeling the weight of my anger begin to ease. “Though I half expected Leonardo to come back. What did you say to him?”
“I told him that you didn’t want him anymore, that you were happy here,” Carlo said, looking away with a sheepish, guilty expression. “I told him if he cared about you, he’d turn around and never return.”
His words hit me, but I pushed down the familiar urge to be angry at him. Holding onto resentment wasn’t worth it. Carlo knew he was wrong, and I believed he’d never make the same mistake again-though Leonardo wasn’t likely to come back. I brushed off the idea that he might’ve left out of any real care for me.
“Don’t do anything like that again, Carlo,” I said firmly.
“I won’t,” he promised, standing abruptly with a gentle smile.
“Can we be friends again?” he asked, an almost boyish hope in his eyes. “It’s not the same without you, and my mom hasn’t stopped lecturing me since you left.”
“We never stopped being friends,” I replied softly, returning his smile. “I just needed some time.”
“Are you-are you going to move back in?” he asked, hope flickering in his voice.
If only he knew how much I wanted to. But it wasn’t that I missed our romance. I missed our friendship, the way things had been before feelings complicated it all. The carefree Carlo who protected me, who stayed up to help when my powers became too much. But I couldn’t move back. Living with him meant facing reminders of what I’d lost, what we could never get back. I had to protect my own heart.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I winced, seeing the disappointment shadow his face. “It’s better for everyone if I stay with Sofia and Enrico.”
He absentmindedly touched the mark on his neck, and I forced my gaze away, willing myself to forget it was there. Even as I tried to ignore it, I couldn’t escape the reminder of how his and Laura’s scents had blended-they’d completed the bond.
“Laura knows we’re just friends,” he assured me, offering a small smile. “She wouldn’t mind if you came back.”
“I know, but I can’t.” I nodded, turning to walk down the porch steps. “You can visit, though. If you want.”
I forced myself to walk away, each step harder than the last, my head forward and unwavering. Blue-the strength within me-helped me find the resolve to keep moving when all I wanted was to turn back, to accept the comfort Carlo offered so easily. But I didn’t need anyone else to protect me anymore. I could guard myself and those I cared about. And even as the ache remained, I couldn’t tell if the pain stemmed from what I’d once had with Carlo or the life I’d hoped for with Leonardo.