54

Two Months Later
Carlo and I had formed a close bond, perhaps the tightest of the entire group. Sofia and I had also become inseparable; she reveled in my utter lack of fashion sense and eagerly took charge of selecting my outfits. She often paired cute skirts with tennis shoes, occasionally introducing me to dresses that I surprisingly didn’t mind wearing.
In the month since I’d arrived, I had blossomed with newfound confidence. I exchanged jokes with Vito and Enrico and engaged in girl talk about boys with Sofia and Chiara. I often spent time with Carlo, who, contrary to Enrico’s portrayal, was far from grumpy.
Yet, despite my progress, Leonardo lingered in my thoughts like a ghost. The first two weeks in this new town were a nightmare; I’d wake in the middle of the night, screams clawing at my throat, my insides ablaze with an agony that felt all-consuming. Mom would rush into my room, her soothing voice attempting to quell the storm within me. After a few days, she finally revealed the truth, a revelation that shattered my heart: the pain was a consequence of my mate being with someone else-physically with someone else.
Two month passed, and though the pain became easier to bear, it never fully disappeared. I learned to contain my screams as the fire consumed me. Mom couldn’t save me; no one could. This torment was simply a part of being rejected by my mate. I often regretted not accepting the rejection when I had the chance, as doing so might have eased my suffering. But the thought of returning to my old pack was unbearable.
That anguish remained a dark shadow over an otherwise bright situation.
Christmas arrived swiftly. Beta Tommaso and Vito joined us for part of the day. It was astonishing how close my mom and Beta Tommaso had become, bonding in a week’s time. He was right; her cooking had vastly improved after meeting him. No longer did she burn everything; now some of her dishes were actually edible.
For Christmas, Mom had gotten me what she could: a few new items and some clothes. When the doorbell rang, I dashed to answer it, surprised to see Carlo and his parents standing there, a goofy grin plastered on Carlo’s face.
“I wanted to deliver your gift personally,” he said, settling onto my bed beside me.
My room had transformed into a cozy haven. I had a new bed set and even let Mom hang a few pictures on the walls.
“You got me a present?” I gasped, a smile breaking across my face.
“I saw it while out with my parents,” he shrugged, his grin unwavering. “Just don’t tell Enrico; he’d never let me hear the end of it.”
“My lips are sealed,” I chuckled.
Carlo placed a small package on my lap, wrapped in festive paper adorned with cheerful reindeer.
As I unwrapped the gift, my jaw dropped at the sight of the familiar cover. It was a replica of my father’s lyric book, pristine and untouched by time.
“I always see you carrying that around,” Carlo said, his face flushing slightly. “I figured you’d appreciate a new one since yours is falling apart.”
“This book belonged to my dad,” I smiled at him, my fingers gliding over the pristine cover.
“Oh,” he said, his expression dimming. “I didn’t know. If you don’t want it…”
“No!” I shook my head, still gazing fondly at the book. “I love it. Now I can transfer all his writings into this. It’s one of the best presents ever.”
“Top three or top five?” he raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk crossing his lips.
“Hmm,” I pretended to deliberate, “maybe top ten?”
“Top ten?” Carlo scoffed, mock offense etched on his features. “I had to fight an old man for that book, and it’s only in your top ten?”
“Please tell me you didn’t!” I laughed, clutching the book to my heart as giggles escaped me.
That Christmas was the best I’d had since my dad’s death. Yet, even amidst all the joy, Leonardo’s shadow loomed ever larger in my mind. The pain of losing my mate hadn’t subsided. He haunted my dreams, tormenting me both awake and asleep. I could only wish that I haunted him too, a specter reminding him of the bond he’d thrown away.
Three Months Later
A month had slipped by since Christmas. I spent New Year’s with Carlo, Vito, Enrico, Sofia, and Chiara, who introduced me to my first real party. Sofia and Chiara worked their magic on my makeup and helped me choose a dress. Enrico and Vito coaxed me into drinking, urging me to get drunk for the first time, while Carlo playfully scolded them, making me laugh.
After the party, the six of us went to Carlo’s house to spend the night. The pack house was enormous, complete with multiple bedrooms. Carlo even had a whole room dedicated to his gaming setup. We spent hours there, the guys teaching me how to play video games.
At one point, Carlo lost a game, and his face fell, stripping away all his earlier joy. My heart raced as the resemblance to Leonardo struck me. I forced myself to remember the differences: Carlo’s hair was darker and shorter, and his grey eyes lacked the brightness of Leonardo’s. Yet still, my heart shuddered at the fleeting resemblance.
I must’ve made a noise, as Carlo turned to me, his brow knitted in concern. “You alright, Ella?”
Ella-a nickname the twins had coined for me, one I was beginning to cherish. Isabella was the girl rejected by her mate, while Ella was the girl who fit in seamlessly among friends.
But then the familiar pain surged through me. Invisible flames licked at my skin, searing my nerves and cells. I could stifle my screams alone in my room, but here, surrounded by friends, it was much harder. Carlo’s eyes locked onto my contorted face as I fought to suppress the agony.
“Yeah,” I nodded, my voice shaky. “I just need some air.”
I stood up and stepped onto the balcony, welcoming the cool breeze. The moon hung brightly in the sky, a radiant beacon for my kind. I couldn’t help but think that Leonardo was looking at the same moon at that very moment.
Carlo followed me outside, and I gritted my teeth as he touched my shoulder. His contact felt all wrong, and I recoiled inwardly.
“What’s wrong?” He crouched down to my level, concern swimming in his grey eyes.
I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want to burden him with my pain.
Another wave of fiery agony shot down my spine, forcing a painful hiss from my lips. Carlo turned to rush inside for help, but I stopped him.
“Don’t-don’t,” I shook my head, gasping for control. I had always dealt with this pain in the solitude of my room, never needing to act “normal” in front of anyone else.
“You never told me why you came here,” he said, turning to face me again.
“No,” I admitted, clenching my teeth. “I didn’t.”
“Does it feel like you’re on fire?” Carlo’s voice was soft, probing, filled with a mixture of curiosity and something deeper.
“Yes,” I replied, barely understanding the direction of his questioning amidst the pain.
“My mom’s sister went through something like that,” he said gently, sympathy lacing his words. “How old did you say you were?”
“Sixteen,” I hissed.
He was putting the pieces together, understanding my situation better than I did.
“Did your mate reject you, Ella?” he asked, a frown forming on his lips.
When Carlo frowned, he appeared so young, despite his height and muscular build.
“Yes,” I whispered, the words hanging heavy in the air between us.
Carlo wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. For a moment, I pushed aside how wrong his touch felt and surrendered to the fire within me.
I still woke at night, my skin ablaze with an unseen torment. I could only assume that Leonardo was with another female, making her his Luna. The pain persisted, but I was learning to live with it. I was getting used to the sudden, stabbing pangs of agony that would leave me breathless when they finally receded.
It was then that Mom approached me with a question, her eyes open and pleading. I could sense she was vulnerable, laying herself bare.
“I like Tommaso, Isabella,” she said quietly, her voice small.
She looked at me like a child afraid of disappointing her mother. “I want to give this a try. I deserve that, don’t I?”
Two months prior, my answer would have been different. I would have lashed out, questioning how she could betray Dad this way. But I had changed in the three months since we’d moved here. I was slowly building confidence and learning to recognize my own worth.
“Of course you do,” I smiled at her, even as my own heart ached. If Mom could find her happy ending, why couldn’t I?
“Then why do I feel so guilty?” she sighed, sinking into the couch beside me.
“Because Dad was your mate,” I shrugged, offering her a sympathetic smile. “He would want you to be happy, Mom.”
“Tommaso understands your situation,” she said, a frown marring her gentle smile. “The same thing happened to him. He wants to talk to you about it sometime, if you’re okay with that.”
I couldn’t be angry with her for confiding in Tommaso, especially since I had told Carlo about my rejection. But I wasn’t ready to discuss my pain with anyone, least of all Tommaso. I wanted to suffer quietly, pretending the anguish didn’t exist.
“Sure,” I nodded, forcing myself to agree. “If he can help, then I’m down.”
Even though I longed to keep my suffering hidden, I recognized that strength lay in admitting I needed help, and right now, I needed it more than ever.