Alethea
Dread washes over me as my heart begins to pound in my chest, wondering what my father is about to tell me.
Perhaps he’s about to reveal that my entire life has been a lie from the start.
I cradle Declan in my arms, while he starts to doze with sleep.
Selena stretches out her hands, offering to take him to his room, but I hold on tighter.
I know she’s been itching to hold him, but she retreats, perhaps sensing my need to bond with him after being away for long.
My father clears his throat. Selena and I both turn and look at my dad.
Whatever my father is about to say, it’s clear that Selena already knows.
“Ally,” my father started with a low voice,
“I’m proud of the woman you’ve become. It hurts me deeply to know that I wasn’t the pillar you needed to grow into the strong woman you are today. That alone makes me feel like less of a father to you.”
I look at him and see that his eyes are glistening; I can tell that the emotions he is showing now are raw and unguarded.
“But I want you to know that I love you. You are a reminder of the sacred bond I had with my mate.” He pauses, his gaze shifting to Selena. “Even though it tore me apart when she rejected me, even when I was ready to leave Sally for her.”
His words are heavy with regret and pains that he has locked up, he looks back at me, waiting for a response.
I turn my face back to Selena and notice their eyes locked on each other, it is as if we have become invisible.
“Oh, Goddess,” I groan, rolling my eyes. “Dad, can you please go on and leave Selena alone?”
Sometimes I wonder why I haven’t fully mastered the act of calling Selena “Mom.”
But I know she doesn’t mind.
My father snaps back to reality, his gaze shifting awkwardly, with a faint grin spreading on his face.
“I can’t help it, Ally,” he admits, with a rare warmth in his voice. He grins wider, and I turn and notice the faint blush that colors Selena’s cheeks.
For a man who is a noble warrior, always stoic and composed, seeing this side of my father is both strange and endearing.
I never knew he could be so openly affectionate, swept up in emotion. I always see him as one who kept his feelings hidden.
I let out a small sigh, hoping this is just a fleeting moment. I hope he will be leaving today because I can’t imagine the torture I’ll have to endure when these two are alone in a room.
The thought alone makes me cringe, and I shake my head to clear the unwanted images from my mind.
My father clears his throat, drawing our attention back to him. and I can tell he’s struggling with what he’s about to say.
“As I mentioned earlier,” he begins, “after your mother rejected me, I was heartbroken. It felt like my heart had been ripped apart. I didn’t handle it well, Ally. My wolf went feral, and I lost control.”
I roll my eyes, frustrated. “Dad, I know that part already. How does this relate to me? Why are you dragging this out?” I ask, impatiently urging him to skip the familiar part.
He exhales deeply, avoiding my gaze. “You were asked to become Xavier’s breeder because of what I did that day. Despite Maya being Xavier’s mate, they saw it as a fitting punishment for my actions.”
I stare at him, and with a stunned look, his words swirl in my mind, but I struggle to comprehend them.
“Wait, are you saying that one mistake you made caused me to endure years of brutal treatment at the Blood Moon Pack?” I ask with my voice trembling slightly with a mix of anger and disbelief.
My father lowers his head, nodding slowly.
“Yes, Ally. It was investigated, and they knew the reason I went feral was tied to my connection with Selena. They took it out on you, believing it would serve as a punishment for me. And I… I stood by, watching from the sidelines, unable to do anything. I am so sorry.”
My heart sinks as all I can think about are the years of pain, neglect, and bullying I endured because of a decision that wasn’t mine.
My heart feels hollow making it hard for air to pass through my lungs right now. I’m torn between the love I still feel for my father and the resentment bubbling.
I can’t explain it, but I can feel my anger rising, but it’s mixed with something I can’t quite put into words.
I’ve spent so many years blaming him for everything that went wrong, for the pain and the isolation I suffered, but hearing him admit it so plainly, it’s too much to process.
I finally find my voice, but it’s quiet and strained as my emotions are all over the place.
“You stood by, watched, and did nothing?” My heart is pounding in my chest, but I try to keep my voice steady.
“All those years I was treated like nothing more than a tool for their punishment, and you just let it happen?”
He couldn’t see my eyes, but I noticed his shoulders slump, and I could tell that the pain of the past years was crushing him.
“I was weak, Ally. I couldn’t find a way to fight back without making everything worse for you. I thought… I thought if I stayed away, they’d stop treating you like that. But it didn’t work. I was a coward.”
I didn’t expect him to admit defeat openly, it stings more than I expected.
Many times I have imagined that if he had just fought for me, everything would’ve been different.
But now I see it wasn’t that simple. He wasn’t trying to hurt me. He was just lost, unsure of how to fix the mess he’d made.
I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting, lost in my thoughts, but when I finally feel the wetness on my cheeks, I realize that tears have been streaming down my face without me even noticing.
The emotions are too much to handle, and I just let them flow, without no care of how messy everything feels.
Amelia slowly stands up as she comes closer to me. She pulls out a handkerchief and carefully wipes the tears from my face.
Amelia has become such a big part of my life. She stayed with Declan while Selena and I were at Redwood.
She never once hesitated to look after him, always there when I couldn’t be.
And to think that we were connected in a way we didn’t even know about until now… it’s almost surreal. It’s strange to realize that all this time.
My father lifts his head and stares at Selena perhaps she is the path giving him the strength to continue.
“I can’t change what I did, Ally. But I can try to make it right now. I’ll do whatever it takes to make up for the time I lost, for the hurt I caused.”
I know what he says doesn’t fix everything And they erase the years of pain, the memories of being abandoned by the person who should’ve protected me.
I know that this is a start. And for the first time in a long while, I feel a spark of something I haven’t felt in years-hope.
But Declan stirs in his sleep, his little body shifting restlessly in my arms.
I hold him closer, trying to soothe him, but it’s clear he’s struggling with something.
Oh, Goddess, it seems my son is caught in a dream. Then, he whispers a word in his sleep-a word I prayed I would never hear.