Asher
I stand still as I watch the glass Maya throws narrowly miss my face. A wave of anger bubbles up inside me.
I close my eyes for a moment as I try to calm myself, my wolf clawing at the surface, wanting to take control. My fist clenches, my jaw tightens, and the only thing keeping me grounded is my attempt to keep the rage in check.
What the hell is she thinking, throwing a glass at me?
I take a slow breath, but Maya doesn’t let up. Her voice cracks as she screams, “I am sick and tired of your good-for-nothing, silly attitude, Asher! What the fuck is wrong with you? Where did I ever go wrong with you?”
She’s right, I know it. I’ve been distant, conflicted, and all over the place. But this? This doesn’t help either of us.
Maya’s eyes are wild, her hands gripping her head in frustration. “I don’t get it, Asher!” she shouts, with a trembling voice. “Don’t you want me again? Because this is driving me to the edge!”
She’s hurt and confused. And I’ve contributed to all of it. The chaos, the pain, the mess I’ve created-it’s all my fault.
I open my eyes, meeting her gaze, but I don’t know how to answer. The words are stuck in my throat because I’m not sure what I feel anymore.
I steady my gaze on her, we’ve had this conversation a thousand times. She’s hurt and desperate for something I’m not sure I can give her anymore. And I don’t know how to convince her any further that we’re still good together because, deep down, I know we’re not.
My heart is divided, torn between the woman in front of me and the one who’s invaded my every thought. Alethea. It’s hard to think straight with her in my head.
Maya sobs uncontrollably, with her chest heaving but I can’t bring myself to comfort her. I want to, I do.
But how can I hold her, kiss her, make love to her, when Alethea’s image is so vivid in my mind? How can I make her feel loved when I can’t even think of anyone else but the one who’s in so much pain?
I should be angry at her for throwing the glass, but I can’t bring myself to be. I haven’t been the best to her. She deserves more than what I’ve been able to give her
I took a step toward her and I opened my mouth, but the words didn’t come. They’re stuck, just like everything else.
She notices the silence between us; slowly, she wipes the tears from her face with shaky hands before standing up and walking toward me.
“What is it, Asher?” she asks with a shaky voice, and my heart bleeds for her. “What is it you aren’t telling me?” The pain in her voice is enough to stop my breath.
I shake my head slowly, unable to meet her eyes.
She pauses for a moment, and suddenly her eyes widen, and she gasps. “Oh my gosh, Asher, have you found your mate?” The words fall from her lips and for a moment, everything stills.
I school my emotions, pushing everything down, locking it away so she can’t see it. I can’t let her know what’s going on.
“What do you mean by that?” I ask, with a steady voice, though inside, I feel like I’m being torn apart. I refuse to give her the answer she’s looking for. Because if I do, everything will change. And I’m not sure if either of us is ready for that
She pauses, still staring at me, trying to make sense of my silence. “I don’t seem to understand you,” she says, in frustration.
“One minute you want me, and another minute, you just pause. You don’t give any reason. You drive me to the edge of ecstasy, and then just let it flop like that.”
The hurt in her voice shows that I’ve failed her. She’s right. I’ve been sending mixed signals-pulling her in, only to push her away. And I don’t know how to explain myself, not without ripping both our worlds apart.
“Asher,” she whispers, with a soft voice that’s filled with desperation. “I want you back.”
She takes a step closer, resting her head against my chest. I can feel her tears against my skin, staining my chest as they drip down. Seeing her crying breaks me.
How do I explain to her that I’ve found my mate and rejected her-only for my stubborn wolf to refuse to accept the rejection?
How do I tell her that I can’t be what she needs when my heart is still so divided?
Kaido’s ears perk up, and he wags his tail, looking up at me like nothing is wrong. Like he doesn’t sense the pain I’m in.
I need to say something to convince her that we’re still good together. But the words feel hollow in my mouth.
“I…” I start, but I can’t find the words. How do I make her understand without breaking her heart even more?
It feels like a betrayal, and I can’t bring myself to say what’s true. At this point, I don’t know what to do.
I bring my hand gently soothing her back, hoping the small comfort might ease some of her pain. Slowly, she raises her face to meet mine, her eyes are vulnerable and full of questions I can’t answer.
“Asher, do you still love me?” she asks, with a trembling voice. “Do you still want me as your Luna? Do you still want me as the mother of your pups?”
I freeze, searching her eyes desperately, looking for anything that could help me find a way to turn the table, to make this right. But there’s nothing there. Just vulnerability, her raw heart laid bare and I know, deep down, I’m the one who’s caused this.
I shake my head, unable to meet her eyes anymore, guilt and pain knotting in my chest. “You should rest, Maya,” I say in a low voice, even as I pull away from her grip. I can’t answer her questions without tearing everything apart.
“God damn you, Asher!” Maya shouts, in frustration. “That’s all you ever know how to do-run and shy away from responsibility. You have a Luna, and when was the last time you ever made love to me? The elders are waiting to hear if we’re having an heir soon.”
Her words hit me like a slap, and the anger bubbles up, threatening to spill over. I can feel my wolf bristling, my muscles tensing, but I can’t seem to shake the weight of everything she’s saying.
I seethe in anger, my voice low but dangerous. “You know I’m not ready.”
Maya snaps back, her eyes blazing. “When will you ever be ready, Asher? When will you ever look at me the way you used to? And I know it’s because of ‘her’.”
My heart stops. My eyes snap to her face, trying to make sense of what she’s just said. “What do you mean, ‘because of her’?”
“You know who I’m talking about.” Her voice drops, barely a whisper, as she says, “Zoe.”
My heart sinks, and everything seems to go cold. “Zoe?” I ask.
“There’s something off about that woman, something I can’t quite put into words. And Goddess help me when I figure it out because she stands in the way of me having you completely to myself.”
I freeze, and a flood of memories rush in. The panic in Alethea’s eyes at the gala when she saw Maya everything starts to make sense.
Maya’s jealousy, her fear, it’s not just about me; it’s about Alethea, too. And I know better than anyone that Maya doesn’t make threats lightly.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself, “Don’t you dare do anything stupid because of your insecurities,” I warn, my voice hard, as I assert some control over the situation.
“Really? You call it insecurity?” she retorted. “Just watch me, Asher. You know I don’t back out of my threats.”
The finality in her words is like a warning. And suddenly, I’m faced with the reality that I can’t keep ignoring what’s been brewing between us.
Maya’s not just a woman scorned-she’s a force to be reckoned with, and her threats are as dangerous as they come.