Alethea
Do you know that saying about your worst enemy is your thoughts? Well, right now, the universe must be playing some cruel joke on me because this is exactly what I didn’t want-him asking questions about my past.
“I was beginning to feel something for you,” he says, with a soft voice but it’s piercing enough to make me stop.
I turn slowly, meeting his gaze. “Feel something?” I ask, unsure where this conversation is headed.
“Yes, Ally.”
The way he says my name sends a shiver through me, but I fight to keep my expression neutral.
I paused for a moment, my eyes searching for him. “We were never close,” I say finally. “We never talked because you were always with the Alpha. And me? I was just the wolf-less, worthless son of a pack warrior. A daughter cursed with the inability to shift.”
He blinks, startled by my words. The bitterness laced in my voice is palpable, but it’s the pain in his eyes that cuts deeper. He tries to mask it, but I see it before he hurriedly schools his features.
“I know you went through a lot,” he says, “And there was nothing I could do to help.”
“Really? There was nothing you could do, Xavier?” My voice rises, trembling with the anger boiling inside me. “Is that the excuse you’re going with? You stood there and watched me get bullied and humiliated, and you said nothing!”
I take a step closer, my hands clenched into fists at my sides. “You were the Beta! Your words carried authority second only to the Alphas! So tell me, why couldn’t you stand up for me? Even just once? But no-you chose to watch from the sidelines.”
The words tumble out of my mouth faster than I can stop them, years of pent-up frustration and pain pouring out in a flood.
“I know I’m not that girl anymore,” I continue, my voice shaking now, “but what if I hadn’t broken free from that life? What if I was still stuck in that hellhole of a pack? Would you have come to me then, talking about how you’re on a mission to make me yours?”
He flinches, the hurt in his eyes unmistakable now, but I don’t care.
“I know I shouldn’t take it out on you,” I say, but it makes no sense, Xavier. None of it does.”
I turn away, trying to calm the storm raging inside me.
“I made a move, Ally,” Xavier says, his voice breaking the silence, with frustration. “I tried what I could to make you be with me.”
Goddess, please don’t let this be something else I can’t remember. My heart races as I turn to him, my curiosity winning over my caution.
“What move did you make, Xavier?” I ask.
He looks down, his jaw tightening as though he’s weighing his words. Whatever he tried, it’s clear he’s not ready to reveal it-or maybe he’s ashamed of whatever it was.
“But why did you leave, Ally?” he presses, lifting his gaze to meet mine. “I felt something for you-strongly but then, out of nowhere, you disappeared.”
“I searched everywhere for you,” he continues, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. “It was like you vanished into thin air. Your parents weren’t helping, either. They…” He trails off, shaking his head, visibly frustrated. “Never mind.”
I stare at him, my mind racing. His revelation feels like a missing piece to a puzzle I’ve been trying to solve, but when I reach for it, it slips through my fingers.
I try to think back, try to recall anything about what he’s saying. But the harder I push, the more my mind resists, and a sharp pain flares in my head.
I clutch my temples, wincing at the headache. The blankness in my memory feels like a wall, and no matter how hard I press against it, it refuses to budge.
“Ally, are you okay?” Xavier has a soft voice. His concern is palpable. One moment he’s across the room, and the next, he’s right beside me, his piercing gaze searching my face.
“I think I’m coming down with a headache,” I admit, pressing my fingers against my temple.
He frowns, “I’m so sorry about that. You need rest. Take the day off, Ally. Seriously, you should rest.”
I shake my head quickly, refusing his offer. “Oh no, no, sir. I can’t do that. I have loads of work to get through, and I can’t leave it. Besides, I don’t want to fuel the nasty office gossip about me getting special treatment just because I know the boss.”
His expression darkens slightly. “Can you drop this ‘sir’ thing already?”
I give a small laugh, trying to lighten the tension. “But you are my boss. It’s only professional to refer to you as ‘sir.'”
“Whatever, Ally,” he mutters, stepping closer.
My breath hitches as the rich scent of his cologne fills the space between us, warm and intoxicating.
My pulse quickens, and I silently curse my body for betraying me, for reacting to him this way. I swallow hard, my throat suddenly dry, wishing I could control the way his closeness sends my senses into overdrive.
I lift my gaze to meet his blue eyes, and a swirl of emotions I can’t quite name. I can feel them, though.
Years ago, I would have been over the moon if Xavier were standing this close to me, but now? Now, everything is different. Too much is at stake.
My job. My life. My career. And the unanswered questions that haunt me-questions about who I am, about my past, about everything I don’t remember. I can’t afford to let this complicate things more.
“I should go,” I say. I notice him leaning in, his face moving closer as if he’s about to kiss me. And I fight the urge to stay.
“Oh, okay,” he says softly, his voice almost a whisper. He brushes his hand lightly across my cheek. Goosebumps rise on my skin, and I suddenly find it hard to breathe.
I take a step back, breaking the moment, and make my way to the door. My heart races as I turn to look at him one last time, forcing an awkward smile.
“See you,” I murmur, stepping outside, the door closing behind me with a soft click.
When I finally reach my office, I slump into my chair, exhaling a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding in.
The tension in my body melts a little, but it’s quickly replaced with a nagging feeling at the back of my mind. One question keeps swirling in my head: ‘How did I leave the BloodMoon Pack?’
Xavier said I disappeared, but the memory is a complete blank. The more I try to dig into it, the more it eludes me.
Maybe Selena will have the answers. If anyone knows the truth, it’s her. She was there. She must be able to tell me what happened and how I ended up leaving BloodMoon.