I couldn’t comprehend that. It made no sense.
“How could you claim to love her and yet hurt her as much as you did?” I asked in a soft, cold voice. “How could you love her, but you put your hands on her? Hit her and scare her? Manipulate her, so she remained submissive and broken?”
“I was messed up,” he answered in a pathetic tone. “I know I was. I know what I did to Kate was wrong. If I could go back and redo everything, I would. I’d love her the way she deserved to be loved. I wouldn’t lay a hand on her, and I’d do everything I could to make her happy. There is nothing I want more than the chance to undo all that I did, but I can’t. It’s too late for me to make things right with Kate, but it’s not too late for me to make things right with Megan!”
I stared down at him, debating whether or not I believed him. To be honest, he did seem to be truly remorseful. I didn’t think anyone could truly fake this kind of emotion.
Still, just because he was sorry didn’t mean he was a better man.
“I don’t trust that you’ve actually changed,” I bluntly said. “You can regret what you did, and even mean it when you apologize to me, but you haven’t proven shit to me.”
He furrowed his brow in confusion. “What do you mean?”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t play dumb. All you’ve done since Kate’s death is try to get out of the consequences of your actions. You ignore a court-mandated restraining order and stalk Megan, and you threaten Sadie, the woman who has been taking care of your daughter. You’ve done nothing but threaten and terrify those I care about. It’s exactly the way you treated Kate, except instead of violence and drugs, you’re using manipulation and mind games.”
Something flitted across Ralph’s expression. Frustration maybe. Anger even. I couldn’t help but wonder what was going through his head. Did he want to hurt me? Threaten me? It didn’t really matter if he did. He couldn’t take me, and we both knew it. A part of me wanted him to try. It’d give me the excuse I needed to fight him. At least I’d be able to tell Sadie it wasn’t my fault.
“You don’t know anything,” he spat. “I get it, I was a monster with Kate, but I did love her. Losing her was the worst thing that ever happened to me. You wouldn’t understand, though. I doubt you’ve ever been in love.”
I bared my teeth at him like a beast. “I am in love, you idiot, and I can’t fathom ever doing to Sadie what you did to Kate. That’s not love. That’s a desire for control and possession, nothing more.”
Ralph looked confused before he murmured, “You’re in love with your nanny?”
“We’re not talking about her,” I said, my face twisted into a beastly snarl. “I don’t even want you thinking about her, got it?”
Ralph appeared hesitant a moment but then said, “Fine, but you can’t tell me that I wasn’t in love with Kate. You don’t know me that well, Cyrus. You never bothered to try.”
“You’re damn right,” I replied without a moment’s thought. “You were never worth my time. Or Kate’s, for that matter.”
Ralph’s eyes narrowed, but I didn’t care if I pissed him off. I was telling him the truth.
Shoving to his feet, Ralph looked up at me and held my gaze. His show of bravado was rather surprising, I had to admit. Not that I’d ever tell him that.
“I was a weak and broken man,” he said at length, pain dripping from his voice. “I didn’t treat Kate right, I know that, and I lost her as a result. I don’t want to lose my daughter, too.”
I gazed back down at him, thinking to myself that he’d already lost her, and he wouldn’t ever get her back.
Chapter 59
Sadie
“It’s okay, sweetie. Everything’s going to be okay.”
I sat in Megan’s room, on her bed, the little girl in my arms. She was still crying, and I rocked her back and forth, rubbing my hand up and down her back, trying to soothe her. She was so shaken up. So scared. I hated Ralph for doing this to her. For doing this to us.
“I don’t want him to hurt Uncle Cyrus,” Megan sobbed, rubbing her face against my shoulder.
“He won’t hurt him,” I promised her. “Don’t worry, baby. Your Uncle Cyrus is going to take care of everything. He’s going to make sure everyone’s safe, all right?”
She nodded but still continued to cry.
There was a soft knock on the bedroom door.
“Come in,” I called, praying it was Cyrus come to tell us that Ralph was gone.
It wasn’t Cyrus. Instead, when the door opened, Mrs. Plumb poked her head into the room, frowning in concern.
“Is everything all right?” she asked softly. “I was out to the market, and when I came back, I heard there was a big commotion.”
“I’m afraid Ralph’s here,” I told her with a sigh. “Cyrus is out in the garden with him right now.”
Mrs. Plumb’s eyes went wide with shock. “He’s here? But…how? How in the world did he get all the way out here?”
“I’m not sure,” I said with a shake of my head. “One minute, Megan and I were walking in the maze, and the next, Ralph was standing in our path.”
“Oh, my goodness,” Mrs. Plumb gasped. “That’s awful. Are you all right, my dear?”
I sighed and nodded. “Yes, we’re…I’m fine. Megan is a little shaken up, but everything’s going to be all right. Uncle Cyrus is taking care of things, isn’t that right, Megan?”
With a whimper, Megan slowly nodded.
“Yeah…Uncle Cyrus will take care of everything,” the little girl murmured.
I smiled softly and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
“Will you be all right if I leave you with Mrs. Plumb?” I asked softly.
Megan tensed in my arms but then slowly relaxed.
“Okay,” she muttered.
I glanced at Mrs. Plumb who nodded and said, “How about we go to the kitchen and have a little snack, Megan?”
Megan lifted her head and looked over at the housekeeper.
“Can…can we have cupcakes?”
Mrs. Plumb gave her a warm smile. “I think that sounds lovely. We have a few of the chocolate ones left. I know those are your favorite.”
Megan perked up a bit at that. She seemed excited by that idea, which was a relief.
I helped Megan climb off my lap. She went to the other woman and took the housekeeper’s hand.
“Will you join us?” Mrs. Plumb asked me.
I shook my head. “No…I think I’ll go check on Cyrus. I want to make sure he’s okay.”
Mrs. Plumb nodded, giving me a cautious look. “Are you certain?”
“Yes,” I assured her. “You two go ahead. I’ll be fine.”
“All right,” Mrs. Plumb replied. She squeezed Megan’s hand and turned to lead the little girl out of the room.
I took a few moments after they left to collect my nerves. I’d had to focus on calming Megan down, but now that I was alone, I let my emotions have free rein for a bit. My heart raced, and it became difficult to breathe. I dropped my head into my hands and forced deep gulps of air into my lungs. It burned, and my eyes watered. I was on the verge of a panic attack, but I fought it back.
Cyrus was still out there with Ralph. I was afraid of what he might do if he was around Ralph for too long. Cyrus had so much anger toward his ex-brother-in-law. It was completely understandable, and I couldn’t blame him for his feelings toward Ralph, but I didn’t want him to do anything rash.
Sucking in a deep breath, I pushed to my feet and pulled myself together. I needed to get back out there and make sure Cyrus was all right. That he didn’t do anything foolish.
Hurrying out of Megan’s room, I ran down the hallway. I didn’t want to leave Cyrus alone out there. If something happened…if he did something to Ralph, or if Ralph did something to him…I’d be devastated.
I loved him. I loved him with my entire being, and I wanted to be with him. I wanted to spend my life with him, and with Megan. I couldn’t let anything happen to him. I couldn’t let anything jeopardize our future together.
If there was a future. If he loved me like I loved him.
My stomach twisted with a sudden worry. What if he didn’t love me? What if this was all in my head?
No, I couldn’t think like that. Not after everything that had happened between us. After everything we’d said to each other.
He cared for me. He wanted me. Even if it wasn’t love yet, it could be. One day.
For the moment, I just had to make sure Ralph left the estate in one piece…not for his own sake, but for Megan’s.
Then, Cyrus and I would figure out once and for all what was going on between us.