Sadie
I tried so hard not to think of that kiss. For two days, I did my best to pretend it hadn’t happened and did my best to avoid Mr. Grave. He made it easy for me, going back to his office and leaving the house each day.
I know he only felt comfortable doing that because we had extra security stationed with us throughout the day. He wasn’t about to leave Megan unguarded.
No matter how hard I tried, though, I couldn’t get the kiss out of my mind. It had been one of the most intense kisses of my life, and it had been with a man I didn’t even like. At least…I was pretty sure I didn’t like him.
No, no, I was positive. That day at the zoo had been good, and we had gotten along well enough, but it was because Megan had been with us. We had to be on our best behavior for her sake.
Yet, no matter what I told myself to try and dismiss the kiss, I couldn’t shake it. I needed to talk to someone about it, and there was only one person that I ever turned to in such circumstances. I arranged to meet with my best friend, Brenda, at a playground near the townhouse.
I didn’t tell her exactly what I wanted to talk about, just said it was urgent, and she agreed to meet without hesitation.
It was a lovely, sunny afternoon when Brenda and I met. We sat together on a bench on the edge of the playground, so we could keep an eye on Megan as she ran around with the other kids. I knew there were bodyguards around, out of sight but nearby, so I let myself relax a bit as Brenda and I chatted.
“I was so glad you wanted to get together,” Brenda said, grinning at me. “It’s been too long! Ever since you got this nanny gig…”
“I know,” I replied with an apologetic smile. “This job keeps me busier than I anticipated, but Megan is such a sweetheart, I don’t really mind.”
“She is,” Brenda agreed. “She’s such a little cutie.”
I smiled as I turned my attention briefly to watch Megan climb along the jungle gym, laughing as some other kids followed her.
“Have you at least been working on your book?” Brenda asked, snagging my attention once more.
I hesitated to answer, feeling a bit embarrassed.
“Well…” I began with a heavy breath. “I haven’t had a ton of time…”
Brenda furrowed her brow. “Sadie, come on. You were so motivated before.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I was…and I still am! I just have to pay the bills, you know? This job requires a lot of me. I’m the person who mainly looks after Megan when she’s not in school.
Even her uncle isn’t around her as much as I am. I can work on my book here and there when she’s napping or at school, but it seems like there’s always something I need to do with that time to prepare for her for when she wakes up or comes home.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I get that, but come on, that’s hardly an excuse. She’s seven, not three. She doesn’t need around the clock supervision. You can do your job, pay your bills, and still work on your book.
Finding a publisher was the whole reason you came here! There’s something else going on. Something you’re not telling me. You seem to forget how well I know you, Abby.”
Sighing, I hesitated in replying. I didn’t know what to say to her, exactly. There was more, but I was struggling to put into words just how confused and lost I was.
“Okay,” I begin with a huff of breath. “All right, here’s the thing…Megan’s uncle, Cyrus, is driving me fucking crazy.”
Brenda’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh? Please, do tell.”
I didn’t like how excited she got at the mention of Mr. Grave. He was not someone to be excited about!
“He’s arrogant,” I grumbled. “Short-tempered, rude, overbearing. I have honestly never met anyone who can piss me off so easily. He’s infuriating!”
Brenda gazed at me a moment before her lips curled into a funny little smirk.
“Is he hot?” she asked with a wiggle of her brows.
“Brenda,” I hissed, my stomach twisting. “That’s my boss you’re talking about.”
“Is. He. Hot?” she repeated.
I stared at her, a denial on the tip of my tongue. However, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to get the words out.
It was as if my body simply refused to lie about how attractive Mr. Grave was or wasn’t. What the hell was I supposed to do?
If I admitted he was hot, I knew how she’d react and the assumptions she’d make, which were all totally wrong! However, if I simply didn’t answer her, she’d nag me relentlessly until I told her what she wanted to hear.
With that thought, I knew I had no choice.
Releasing a long, defeated sigh, I admitted, “Yes, okay. He’s objectively good-looking. Happy?”
Her expression glowed with her growing interest. “I think you’ve got a crush on him.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I insisted, but I could feel my cheeks heating. Of course, Brenda caught it.
“Something happened!” she exclaimed. “Tell me, tell me, tell me!”
“Nothing happened,” I insisted. “And just because I say someone is good-looking doesn’t automatically mean I’m into them. There are plenty of horrible people in the world who are beautiful.” Not that Mr. Grave was horrible, necessarily. Just incredibly irritating and infuriating.
“You’re lying,” she said, gasping, her smile widening. “Tell me what happened, you little liar!”
I could see in her expression that she was not going to let this go unless I confessed the truth.
“Fine,” I said. “We…kissed.”
Chapter 21
Sadie
“Abby!” She squealed my name in delight. Several of the other parents and nannies looked our way, and I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me right then and there.
“Shhhh,” I snapped. “Don’t make a scene. I wasn’t that big of a deal. It just…happened.”
“That kind of thing never just happens,” she insisted. “Who kissed who?”
Licking my lips, I sighed. “He kissed me.” But I definitely kissed him back. Not that I wanted to admit that out loud.
Nor did I want to admit just how intense that kiss had been. I don’t think anyone had ever kissed me that way before. It had been like he’d wanted to devour me, and I had been all too ready to let him.
That part startled me the most…just how willing I had been to be consumed by the man. It was confusing and a little scary. I didn’t like the thought of losing myself to someone else. Especially not someone like him.
“That’s so naughty.” She giggled, apparently oblivious to my inner torment. “Look at you. Strait-laced Abby getting naughty with her boss.”
“You are being ridiculous,” I said, even as the mental image her words conjured up tied my stomach into knots.
“I’m being ridiculous?” She laughed. At my glare, she raised her hands and said, “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I’ll stop teasing you. But, seriously, Abby, if you like this guy, I won’t judge you, but don’t let him keep you from focusing on your book. Don’t lose yourself because of him or this job.”
She was right. As much as I hated to admit it, I had been letting Mr. Grave and this job distract me from my book. I’d been able to get a little work on it done, but not nearly as much as I needed to. It was yet one more reason I needed to be cautious of Mr. Grave and not allow him to suck me into his powerful orbit. I had dreams and goals, and I intended to keep pursuing them. I met Brenda’s gaze and gave her a firm nod.
“I won’t,” I promised her. “I swear. It’s just temporary. Just keeping my head above water.”
“All right.” Brenda nodded. “I believe you.”
I smiled at her and shook my head, then turned my gaze back toward Megan.
She wasn’t on the jungle gym, so I looked to the slide. I didn’t see her there either. I swept my gaze all over the playground, but I couldn’t find her anywhere.
Panic seized me, and I surged to my feet.
“Megan?” I called out.
Brenda looked up at me with a frown. “Abby? What’s going on?”
“I can’t find Megan,” I gasped, spinning in a circle, praying she’d pop out from some unknown hiding place with a wide grin.
She didn’t, though, and I grew more terrified with each second that passed.
Brenda leaped to her feet and grabbed my shoulders. “Hey, calm down, don’t worry. We’ll find her. Let’s just take a deep breath, okay? We can’t help Megan if you’re losing your mind.”
Taking a deep breath, I nodded. “Yes, yes, you’re right. We need to look for her and not panic.”
So much easier said than done. Still, I knew if I couldn’t get my shit together, it was Megan who was going to suffer.
Brenda and I split up and began hurrying around the playground, shouting Megan’s name. A man I vaguely recognized suddenly came jogging up to me from behind a cluster of trees.
“Miss Bruns, what’s going on?” he demanded to know.
“Are you our bodyguard?” I snapped. “Megan is missing! Where were you? Never mind. Find her!”
“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded before turning and running off.
I couldn’t find her. There was no sign of her. No, this couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t that I was afraid of losing my job or angering Mr. Grave, but I was genuinely terrified that Megan had been taken. What if her father had returned for her? What would he do if he got her?
“Megan!” I screamed, tears forming in my eyes and running down my cheeks. “Megan! Where are you?”
I ran away from the playground across the grassy field where older kids played frisbee and sunbathed. There was a street on the other side of the field, and I sprinted toward it, afraid that Ralph had snatched Megan and driven off with her already.
“Megan?” I shouted so hard that my throat began to hurt. “Megan? Please, sweetie! Where are you?”
“Sadie?”
I stopped when I heard the soft cry. Suddenly, my eyes landed on Megan, standing near the road. She stared at me with wide, frightened eyes.
“Megan!” I cried, rushing toward her. I dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms around her. “Oh, my gosh! Are you okay, honey? Are you hurt?”
I pulled back to look her over, inspecting her for injuries. I realized she was holding a stuffed teddy bear that she hadn’t had before. She was clutching it so hard that her knuckles were white.
Tensing, I asked in a soft voice, “Megan…where did you get this bear?”
She had tears in her eyes as she gazed up at me. “My…my dad gave it to me.”
I did my best to hide my fear from her. I didn’t want to freak her out any more than she already was. I pulled her into another tight hug and brushed my hand down her hair in what I hoped was a soothing gesture.
“It’s all right, sweetie,” I cooed as she began to sob softly into my shoulder. “It’s all right, you’re safe. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”