[Camden]
“Shit, I didn’t know it would be that heavy,” he says quietly.
“What do you mean?”
He shrugs. “I mean, I’ve already put it together that you’re sleeping with her.”
“You have?” I gape at him.
“Yeah, I mean, please, Camden. She’s exactly your type and you’ve been stuck with her what, month and a half to two months? Of course you’re sleeping with her.”
“I hate that you know me so well,” I groan.
“But that you’ve knocked her up surprises me,” Dante says, sipping his coffee and wincing. “Yeah, it’s not that great.”
I crack a smile. “I didn’t mean to knock her up,” I sigh.
“You didn’t use a condom?”
I shrug. “Didn’t exactly have time to pick them up on the run from Marco.”
“That motherfucker is sneaky,” Dante curses.
“Yeah, he is. There’s still no leads?”
“Oh, plenty of leads, but none that have panned out.”
I order something simple, just a waffle, because I figure they can’t fuck that up much. Dante does the same.
We sit there in silence for a moment before Dante speaks.
“You know, it’s different now,” he says.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“It’s different, now, how fiercely you want to protect them. Your child and your woman.”
“She’s not my woman,” I snap.
Dante raises an eyebrow. “No?”
“No,” I say firmly. “After all this is over I’m going home and back to my life. I’ll learn how to be a dad, and I’ll take care of her financially, but we’re not together.”
“So, you’re just what? Playing house?”
“I guess,” I grumble. I don’t like this line of questioning. It’s making me think too much.
“You sound a lot like me before I gave in to my feelings for Mia,” Dante says quietly, and I don’t answer him.
I don’t know what to say. I remember Dante when he’d first married Mia, and he had been so focused on the life that he hadn’t realized he was really in love with her for a long time. That isn’t what my situation is.
We eat our waffles, which are mediocre but not terrible.
“I don’t have feelings for Kendall,” I finally say, but I know that I’m lying to him and myself. I do have feelings for her, even if I’m not quite sure what they are, if I’m not quite sure what that means. I’ve never had feelings for any woman, or at least not since high school or before. I’ve always been focused on myself, always been focused on the life, and women are just for fun.
Dante scoffs but doesn’t respond otherwise.
“When is the baby due?” he asks, and I choke on my waffle.
“God, I don’t know. I never thought to ask.”
Dante laughs. “Well, when you find out, let me know. Mia will be over the moon for our little girl to have a playmate.”
“Have you named her yet?” I ask, and Dante shakes his head.
“Not yet. We’re still deciding between Alessia and Maria.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Alessia is much better,” he says.
Dante laughs. “I’ll tell Mia you said so.”
We finish up at the diner and Dante tips the server generously enough that she’s full of smiles before we leave.
She’s kind of cute, and before, I would have flirted with her, but for some reason, I’m just not feeling up to it. I guess it’s because everything has gone so sideways. I’m stressed out about us not being able to find Marco, stressed about the baby, and I’ve been almost shot too many times the past couple of months. This has nothing to do with Kendall. Not at all.
At the car, I ask Dante what I’ve been thinking.
“Do you think I’ll be a good father?”
Dante glances over at me. “Camden, I’ve known you most of my life,” he says. “And everything you set your mind to do, you do. If you want to be a good father, you will be.”
I smile at him. “Thanks, capo.”
Dante gets into his sportscar and drives away.
I head back to the safehouse, and I’m glad that my boss is also my friend. But can I really be a… good father?