[Kendall]
“Just close your eyes,” he says. His voice sounds thick, wet, almost dripping with blood. “It’ll be over soon.”
~~~
I wake up screaming bloody murder, the sound tearing out of my throat, raw and jagged. This time, I can’t hide it from Camden-he has to pull me into his arms, holding me tight, calming me down with his warmth, his touch.
I’m trembling all over, my skin cold and clammy despite being wrapped in Camden’s strong arms. My breath is shallow, each inhale sharp and shaky as if I can’t quite pull enough air into my lungs.
“What happened? Principessa, what’s wrong?” he asks, his voice urgent, rough with worry. His hands rub my back in slow, soothing circles, grounding me. Each circle is like a reminder that I’m here, with him, safe.
“A dream,” I breathe, forcing the words out as I struggle to catch my breath. “Just a bad dream.”
Camden’s brow furrows, shadows deepening the worry in his eyes as he studies me, scanning my face with a mix of concern and something else-something deeper that I can’t quite place. I feel his gaze settle on me, like he’s trying to piece me back together.
“Have you been having these bad dreams the whole time?” His voice is soft, but there’s an edge to it, like he’s frustrated he didn’t know sooner.
Slowly, reluctantly, I nod, looking away, shame burning in my cheeks. I don’t want him to know how often I’ve been spiraling, falling into panic each night, waking up drenched in cold sweat, my pulse racing, feeling more alone than ever.
“You never woke me up,” he says, almost accusingly. His voice is sharper than I expected, a note of hurt in it that stings.
I swallow, my throat feeling tight and dry. “I didn’t want to bother you,” I whisper, my voice barely a murmur in the stillness between us.
“Kendall,” he says, his tone softening as he takes my hand, his fingers warm and solid around mine. “You’re never a bother to me,” he says fiercely, holding my gaze like he’s willing me to believe it.
But I can’t. I shake my head, and a wave of shame rises inside me, heavy and hot. “I’m always upset, always crying,” I murmur, my voice choked with emotion. “You always have to take care of me. I didn’t want you to have to do that all the time.”
There’s so much more I want to say, but I stop myself, swallowing the words before they can spill out. I don’t want him to know how much I crave his approval, how deeply I want to be someone he can enjoy being around, not just someone he feels obligated to protect.
Camden tilts my chin up gently, his fingers warm and steady, forcing me to look at him just like he did on that first night, when everything between us changed. His gaze is soft, but there’s a firmness to it, an unshakable certainty that makes me feel small and safe all at once.
“Look at me, principessa,” he commands softly, his voice a soothing, grounding rumble. I try to resist, but his gaze is so steady, so sure, that I can’t help but meet his eyes.
“You’re safe,” he promises, his voice low, warm, wrapping around me like a blanket. “I’ve got you.”
I take in a shaky breath through my nose, letting it out slowly through my mouth. Camden’s hand rests on my back as he breathes with me, each breath slow and measured, his chest rising and falling in rhythm with mine. Somehow, with him beside me, my heart rate begins to slow, the trembling in my limbs easing, my shoulders loosening as I sink into his hold.
For a long moment, he just holds me, and the silence wraps around us like a cocoon, warm and protective. Gradually, the exhaustion that’s been clinging to me for days starts to overtake the edge of my fear, and my eyelids grow heavy. I close my eyes, feeling the steady beat of Camden’s heart under my cheek, a solid rhythm that feels like safety itself, anchoring me.
“Wake me up anytime you have a bad dream,” he murmurs, his lips brushing against my forehead in the gentlest of touches. “I’m here to keep you safe, even from your own memories.”
His words seep into me, warming me from the inside out, a balm to the cold ache of fear still lingering in my chest. I nuzzle closer against his chest, letting myself surrender to the comfort he offers. Just when I think I’ll never find sleep again, I feel myself drifting, the darkness around us no longer so menacing with him by my side.
But…how long will he continue to keep me safe like this?