Kamrynn’s POV
I should feel something when I think of him.
Butterflies. Warmth.
But there was nothing.
Only familiarity.
Only dependence.
I relied on him. He was the only person I had in this world. The only one I trusted.
I liked him.
I really did.
Lorien was kind to me. He was attentive, always making sure I was comfortable, always treating me with care. He was affectionate, in his own way-gentle words, teasing smiles, an unwavering presence that never left my side.
He was… sweet.
And yet, there were no sparks.
No rush of warmth when he touched me. No butterflies in my stomach when he whispered my name. No longing when he held me close.
I wanted to love him the way a wife should love her husband. I should have loved him that way.
But I didn’t.
I felt safe with him, yes. But not desire. Not connection.
Sometimes, it felt like he was treating me more like a pet than a wife-something delicate to be doted on, sheltered, and kept in place.
But I always brushed it off as my imagination.
I told myself I was overthinking. That maybe love didn’t always have to be passionate or all-consuming. Maybe I was expecting too much.
But now…
Now, I was really starting to wonder.
Was Lorien hiding something from me?
The thought had come before, fleeting and uncertain, a whisper of doubt that I always dismissed. But this time, it lingered.
There were too many gaps in my memory.
Too many things that didn’t make sense.
What really happened to me?
Had there even been an accident?
Why was I never allowed to leave the house without him?
Lorien always had an explanation.
“The outside world is dangerous.”
“It’s not safe for you yet.”
“You’re still recovering.”
And I had believed him.
Of course, I had.
He was my husband-the only person I had in this world. If I couldn’t trust him, then who could I trust?
And yet…
My fingers trailed absentmindedly to the cool metal around my neck.
It was beautiful, in a way-intricate, golden, polished to perfection. Lorien had called it a gift, a symbol of our bond.
Something that made me his.
But it was always there.
Always.
I had never taken it off.
Not once.
And now that I really thought about it, it didn’t feel like jewelry at all.
It felt like…
Like a shackle.
The realization sent a cold chill through me.
I swallowed hard, running my fingers along the smooth metal. For the first time, I noticed something-a tiny groove at the base, a small, almost imperceptible keyhole.
A keyhole.
Why would jewelry need a key?
What was it for?
Why had I never realized this before?
My fingers trembled slightly as I continued to trace the cool metal, my mind spinning. I would have to ask Lorien about it. I needed to know.
Shaking off the unease creeping up my spine, I turned my gaze back to the stars, trying to steady myself.
But the unease only grew.
A tightness gripped my chest, an unsettling feeling that had no explanation.
Like something was wrong.
Like someone needed me.
My heartbeat quickened.
Panic twisted in my stomach, sharp and suffocating.
I didn’t know why.
I didn’t know who.
But the feeling wouldn’t leave.
It was overwhelming-this deep, aching emptiness inside me, like I had lost something precious.
Something irreplaceable.
And I didn’t even know what.
I clenched my fists, my breathing uneven.
What’s wrong with me?
The thought barely formed before a voice-faint, distant, yet impossibly clear-whispered through my mind.
“Our babies are crying. They miss you. It’s time to wake up, Kamrynn.”
I jolted.
A sharp gasp tore from my throat, my entire body stiffening.
The name-
“Kamrynn.”
It echoed in my mind, bouncing off the walls of my consciousness.
Kamrynn.
I whispered it under my breath, my lips forming the word carefully, like it was something fragile.
It tasted foreign.
But it felt like home.
Like a missing piece clicking into place.
My fingers dug into my palms as a strange rush of emotions surged through me-confusion, recognition, fear, longing.
What did it mean?
Why did that name make my chest ache so deeply?
“Elodie.”
The sound of my name-what he’d always called me-startled me.
I spun around, heart pounding as Lorien’s voice drifted toward me from the doorway.
He stood there, his crimson eyes dark with sleep, his long red hair cascading down his shoulders in messy strands. Even disheveled, he looked like something out of a dream-perfectly composed, utterly captivating.
His gaze flickered to me, his lips curving into a small, amused smile.
“What are you doing out here at this time?”
I swallowed, forcing myself to breathe.
“I couldn’t sleep,” I murmured, shifting under his gaze. “I came to watch the stars.”
I hesitated, wondering if I should tell him about the voice in my head.
Tell him about the name.
Kamrynn.
But something held me back.
An instinct.
A whisper of warning in the back of my mind.
So instead, I said nothing.
Lorien chuckled softly, stepping forward.
“You could have woken me,” he said, effortlessly closing the distance between us. “I would have stayed up with you.”
I offered a small, forced smile. “You need your rest.”
He tilted his head, eyes glinting with something unreadable. “And you need sleep, my love.”
Before I could react, he bent down and scooped me up into his arms, cradling me effortlessly.
A startled gasp escaped me, my face heating.
“Lorien-!”
“You belong in bed with me,” he said, voice teasing, yet firm.
I tried to protest, but he only held me closer.
“If I have to sing you to sleep, I will,” he added, smirking.
Embarrassment washed over me.
I turned my face away, unable to meet his gaze.
He always did things like this.
Carrying me. Holding me. Treating me like something fragile.
I should have been used to it by now.
And yet, as he carried me back toward the bedroom, the feeling of loneliness still clung to me.
An emptiness that wouldn’t leave.
A quiet, aching whisper in my mind.
What would it be like to have a baby?
The thought came unbidden.
A child.
A little one to hold.
To love.
But even as I wondered, the feeling of loss deepened, and a single, haunting question remained.
Had I already lost one?