I’ve been calling them since this morning, but they are not answering. Have they forgotten my eighteenth birthday? How can they do this to me? This is the first time I’ve asked them; they haven’t granted me yet. What kind of family are they? I just want to be with them!
Out of resentment, I left home. I didn’t know where I was going, but I got on the bus. I didn’t notice the time even though it was a long trip. I just stared out the window as the light gradually turned into darkness.
Will my birthday be over?
I didn’t even get to celebrate properly because I’ve been waiting for my family since this morning. I wish they would have told me they couldn’t be with me, because I know. I’m only hoping for nothing.
Along with the tears falling from my eyes, the rain started to fall. The drizzle turned into a strong storm, making me feel even more sad.
“What happened? Why did you stop?” I heard the passengers ask to the driver.
“Is it broken?”
I wiped my tears. I saw that people were already alarmed, and I was even more hurt because nothing good had happened today. I stood up before going to the front.
“I’m getting off,” I said to the driver, who looked at me worriedly, but he did nothing. He opened the door and the strong wind and heavy rain greeted me as I got out.
Where am I now?
It had only been a few seconds since I got off, but I was already soaked with rain.
I ran while looking for a place to go. I didn’t know. I just wanted to get away and get rid of this pain I was feeling. Even for a moment. I wanted to forget. I wanted to relieve all the burden.
When I saw a place, I went inside. I was blinded by the white lights that were constantly flickering in the air. Even my ears were deafened by the loud music.
There’s a storm brewing, but someone is having fun inside this place? I smiled. I guess this is the answer to my pleas. It was as if they were celebrating my birthday with me.
I went all the way inside before dancing with the people. They didn’t care even though my clothes were soaked. They were smiling while shouting and jumping.
And little by little, all my sadness disappeared. Especially when they offered me something to drink. The alcohol drew a draught from my throat. Brave. I screamed and burst into laughter.
“It’s my birthday today!” I shouted while laughing.
“Happy birthday!” they greeted me, and soon after they gave me a happy birthday headband. I never expected that I would receive these kinds of warm greetings from strangers. They were the ones who really made me happy. They were my companions, instead of my family.
“Cheers!” They raised the bottles of beer in the air. I also joined in and accepted the alcohol they offered me. “Cheers!”
I gulped down the entire contents of the bottle. I immediately felt dizzy from what I had drunk, but I just laughed like crazy. The intoxication was hitting my brain.
I said goodbye to them for a moment so that I could go to the chair and rest. I was already feeling dizzy, but someone stopped my hand. “Where are you going, miss? Just stay here,” said a man who was also in the group celebrating my birthday.
“Yes! We’re not done having fun yet, sis! Drink more!” They grabbed me again, but when I didn’t accept it, they themselves made me drink. I heard their loud laughter.
I don’t know why I felt scared at that moment. And that temporary happiness of mine earlier turned into sorrow.
“I’m going home!” I shouted loudly, but they just continued laughing. I tried to break free from their tight grip on me before I ran away.
I was about to leave that place when I bumped into someone. I looked up to see the face of the person I bumped into.
Am I already in heaven to see a guardian angel?
“Save me, please save me,” I whispered while holding onto his collar. My tears gradually fell as I saw that he was surprised.
He just stared at me while I was losing hope. I closed my eyes and completely lost strength.
******
“You…” I mouthed. I approached Ismael and grabbed his collar while staring at his eyes. “It was you who saved me that night, wasn’t it?” My lips are trembling as I suddenly remember what happened three years ago, when I was eighteen. “You’re that man.”
His eyes remained staring at me, their happiness shining through as if he had been waiting for me to remember him for a long time. There were tears in his eyes, and I couldn’t help but smile as a smile appeared on his lips.
“You remember me now?”
I nodded. “Not everything that happened, but I remember your face now. I’m sorry that it took me three years to know that it was you all along.”
I cupped his face using both hands. I plucked up the courage to say what my heart’s been suppressing since I saw him earlier. “I’m sorry for what I have done, for breaking your heart every time. I have been regretting every word I said to you that night, even that decision. Please take me back, Ismael. I want you in my life again. Please save me this last time. I won’t promise anything anymore and will just prove it to you. Please take my heart.”
“You tiny little thing.” I saw that he started to cry too, but he hid it from me by hugging me tightly. “How can you forget the first time we met when, for me, it was just like yesterday when I saw you wearing that happy birthday headband?”
I buried my face on his wide shoulder. I couldn’t speak anymore because I was overwhelmed by this moment with him. His warm, tight embrace-I really missed this.
“You were drunk when I saw you. You collapsed on me when I was just about to enter that place. As a concerned citizen, I helped you. I brought you to the hotel nearby, but just like what happened today, a single room was left unoccupied. I had no choice but to take it,” he said. “As soon as we entered the room, you cried and embraced me as if I were the one who hurt you. And you know what? You told me the same exact thing you said when we met again.”
I frowned and looked at him again. “What is it?” He pulled my thighs and placed them on his legs so that I could sit on his lap.
“Take advantage of me,” he continued. I gasped. Did I really tell him that? What kind of alcohol pushed me to say that to him?
But looking at his face, who wouldn’t be hypnotized to give herself to this man?
“So you took advantage of me?” I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck again. I don’t know why it seemed like the two of us never lost our attraction to each other, and in an instant, we were like this again when we were close.
“Yeah?”
I gasped. “Even though I’m just a student?”
“I didn’t know that. You’re begging for it; how am I supposed to reject that?”
“If everyone begs you, you’ll follow through?” I asked.
His eyebrow was raised. “Of course not. What do you think of me? You are the only woman I slept with.”
I covered my mouth as my eyes widened. “Then does that mean-?”
He rolled his eyes, which made me scrunch my nose. So cute. It was the very first time I saw him react like that. “Yeah, that’s my first time. That’s why I panicked and left you, but I felt guilty afterwards, so I looked for you. I was willing to face the responsibility of it if you were pregnant, and that’s when I discovered you were only a student, so I backed off a little and told Mr. Tory to check on you instead.”
I was amazed by his story. I didn’t expect something like this to happen. And he kept it a secret from me for a long time in the hope that I would remember him, but I didn’t; I was drunk at the time, so I only remembered now because we came back to this place.
I smiled and nodded. I understood everything. He never used me. And it took me three years to know that it was him all along-my very first man.
“You are my first too,” I commented, making his cheeks flush.
“I know. There was blood when I tore your middle.”
“Was it good? I don’t really remember now.”
“Yes, it was memorable. We don’t know each other’s names, but I memorized your body, scent, and the sound you make.”
I swallowed. Our gazes became deep, and because of that kind of conversation, we immediately kissed each other.
“Should I make you remember what we did that night?”
“Leave a memory for me that I will never forget for the rest of my life.”
He quickly stood up and walked towards the bed while carrying me. I bit my lip as I felt nervous again. He took my hand and smelled it before kissing it. He then glanced at me with those seductive stares.
“I’ll make every move memorable so you will not think about anything else except for me from now on, my love.”
I closed my eyes as I remembered the terrible things I had done with another man, which was why I was afraid to find a way to get back to him.
“That didn’t happen, Jothea.”
He kissed my cheek. A teardrop from his eye touched mine. I glanced at his face. I could see him crying as he closed his eyes and continued to plant hot kisses on me.
“It was us who had sex that night. I planted kisses just like these… even bit your neck and shoulder…”
“You had no choice but to close your eyes as you felt the warmth of my caress on your body…”
I closed my eyes again and just listened to what he was saying while accepting his strange caress on my body.
“I was staring at you as I started taking off your clothes, your bra, and your underwear… you were all naked as I got naked too.”
He took off my clothes, and I felt him take off his clothes too. I can sense his best effort to alter that terrible memory of that night by replacing it with a memory of what happened to us three years ago. He’s so thoughtful. How can he think of this way to resolve the pain?
“Ahhh…” I moaned in shock when I felt his manhood inside me.
“Yes, that’s right, Jothea. That was your initial response when I first inserted my manhood into you,” he groaned.
I bite my lips. How come, in the middle of a storm, I can feel the heightened heat in my body?
“I was slowly coming in as you tried to adjust yourself to my whole and a moment later I felt your hymen tear apart.”
Gosh. This is too erotic to hear. How can he still remember what happened to us?
“You were crying because of pain, but later on, a smile flashed on your lips and that made me feel like I was in heaven. Your smile alone satisfied me.”
“Ohhh… Ismael… Ahhhh…” I groaned because of his slow movements inside me.
“Do you like it?” he asked.
I nodded. “I do.”
“Then open your eyes now. Let’s savor this moment together now that we’re together again.”
I opened my eyes, and his handsome face greeted me, giving me hope. How come this man can forget all of the stupid things I did? It seemed like yesterday to me when I left him and hurt him. How can he accept me completely?
“Thank you for coming back. I love you, my Jothea. I really do.”