Without another word, she pressed her pussy against my thigh. She roughly made out with me. My lips struggled to keep up with hers. The long, nimble fingers of her right hand caressed their way down my body. She then stuck two of them through my slippery, wet opening. The unexpected, instant fullness caused me to gasp against her mouth. As soon as she began to fuck me, I felt her sex grinding against my skin. The marked change in both pace and intensity was unmistakable.
Whereas her mouth had dotingly guided me to the edge earlier, her fingers were now ardently driving me to the precipice straightaway… With her on top of me and inside me, I could barely breathe. Even if I didn’t want to, I had to stop kissing her due to my need for oxygen. I heard her release a disappointed grunt as she moved her lips to my throat. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, but I couldn’t move. Consequently, they remained lifeless at my sides. She punctuated every other thrust with a curl of her fingers to press on my G-spot. And as if I wasn’t losing my mind enough, her thumb was now tracing circles around my swollen clit.
With a scream, I came so, so hard, my entire body locked up. The pleasure was too intense. It left me feeling paralyzed. Waves of thoroughgoing satisfaction hit me from every direction. North, East, South, West. I was submerged, lost. Back and forth, I saw light then darkness, darkness then light.
Once my orgasm ended, she stilled her hand. Her fingers remained in me though. My inner walls continued to clamp around the long digits as aftershocks zapped through me. She started rolling her hips again, rougher now. This time, she was focused on her release. She lightly nipped my neck when she was coming, but she covered the sore spot with kisses right after. As soon as her body relaxed, she pulled her fingers out of me and licked them clean. She was now straddling me, gazing at my face from above.
“You okay?” She asked and I nodded. She opened her mouth, but she closed it again. She leaned down to kiss me. She got up from my bed, covered me with my comforter, tucked me in and switched off the lights.
I wanted her to stay, but I couldn’t talk yet, so I let her leave my room without a word. All alone and in the dark, I basked in the afterglow of pleasure, of ecstasy. It was hard to believe that although what’d just transpired surpassed my fantasies, it was no dream… I finally had sex with my roommate and it was far more than I’d ever bargained for.
It was pure bliss.
. . .
Sitting on Gray’s bed, I felt myself go white as a sheet. My face lost all of its already-scarce color after hearing her words. My skin crawled in embarrassment, in shame. I literally wanted to ‘go ghost’ and disappear. Like I knew I was supposed to call the ‘Ghostbusters’ if I wanted to get rid of a ghost, but what was the hotline if I wanted to become one myself..?
After we’d had sex a few days ago, I hoped it would at least be a semi-regular thing. The way I’d felt when her mouth was on me or her fingers were in me… That was something I craved more and more with each passing hour. She didn’t seem to share the same sentiments though. She’d even refused to watch me film, making excuse after excuse to turn down my invitations.
I knew something was wrong-I just wasn’t sure what.
Swear to god, I’d tried to let it go. I’d tried to convince myself that us sleeping together once was better than nothing. I’d tried to view it as a once-in-a-lifetime experience. One that I should’ve been over the moon about undergoing at all. I’d told myself not to be greedy, but I couldn’t stand it. I needed more-another fix, another dose. So, earlier, I’d entered her room, sat on the edge of her bed and asked her what was wrong. After multiple attempts from her to get me to drop the issue, I’d persuaded her to tell me what was going on. Bad idea on my part.
With the back of her head on her pillows, she’d flashed me a look of discomfort. Then she’d said the sentence that made me go pale. “You were just lying there like a statue.”
“Oh.”
Despite being an amateur porn creator, I’d never claimed to be a sex expert. But to be called a ‘statue’ in bed was a huge blow to my confidence. I’d been ecstatically replaying our time together, while she was recalling the same scene with disappointment. What a stark difference between points of view, huh? From my perspective, our intimate time together was heaven on earth, but from hers, it was the opposite.
“Yeah.” A deep frown was on her beautiful face. “I’m sorry for losing control like I did. I crossed a line I shouldn’t have. And yeah, I’m just sorry.”
“Wait…” We rarely had misunderstandings, so I had to take a second to decipher what she said. “Why are you saying sorry?”
“You obviously weren’t into it. I know I asked you if you were sure, but I shouldn’t have-”
“No, no, you’re so wrong.” I emphatically shook my head. “You once said, when it comes to ‘curious girls,’ there’s a right time, place and person, remember? All those boxes were ticked, especially that last one,” I emphasized. “Embarrassing as it is to admit, I was a ‘statue’ because my brain short-circuited from how amazing I felt. Like I was expecting it to be good, Gray, but I wasn’t ready for reality… I loved every second of it.”
She didn’t look convinced. She was such a principled person. Her personal beliefs ruled her choices, her behavior, her conscience. I was desperate to make her feel better, so I straddled her body.
“For someone so smart, you can be so stupid sometimes.” I leaned forward and kissed her against her pillows. My tongue immediately passed her soft lips. We made out, our lips’ movements were frenzied. “This isn’t like the last time you made a similar apology…” I took off my shirt. “This time, you’re wrong.”
“Cass…”
Since I had no bra on, my tits were now in front of her. My puffy, pale nipples were begging for contact. I grabbed her hands and used them to squeeze my chest. “I wanted you so bad-I still do,” I confessed. “I’ve wanted this for a long while now, but I didn’t know how to ask for it.”
Silently, she sat up and brought her lips to mine again. Her hands took charge of the situation. She gripped my shoulders. She gently pushed me until I was on my back with my head by the opposite end of her bed. She tugged my shorts and panties down my legs. She broke our kiss. She brought her hand to her mouth, between our faces. I watched transfixed as she spat on her fingers. She let gravity slow down the glob. My eyes snapped shut when her long, spit-coated digits returned to my pussy.
I moaned when they wiggled their way inside me. As she fucked me, I held her as close as possible. My arms were wrapped around her, my fingernails were pressed into her tattooed back. All of the skin-on-skin contact was electric. Yet again, underneath her, I felt more alive than I’d ever felt without her. She got rid of her own bottoms. Seconds later, her wet sex was on my skin once more. She moved her hips, using the force to drive her fingers in and out of me as well as to grind herself against me.
I felt Nirvana, I felt Eden-it was a soul-state, impossible to define by simple, flawed adjectives.
Unlike last time, once we’d both orgasmed, neither of us left the room. We stayed in bed, leisurely touching each other and talking. Since we met, we’d had countless conversations already. But still, this was distinct, this was new. And though I’d always believed (meaningful) pillow talk was a deeper form of conversation… Mine and Gray’s pillow talk was in a different ballpark entirely.
It was like we were in a galaxy all on our own, where we could tell each other anything. Our conversations didn’t even have a reasonable trajectory. She told me her twin had no tattoos because she believed it distinguished her from most of her peers. I told her I broke my wrist when I was four because I went down a playground slide not only head-first but also with eyes to the sky. She told me she used to be an atheist, but she’d recently adopted a more agnostic viewpoint. I told her the color purple used to make me dizzy, so during a checkup, I’d asked my pediatrician if I was allergic to it. She told me she’d once bought a tooth from her cousin because she wanted to swindle the tooth fairy. I told her the one and only time I’d tried psychedelics, I cried for eight hours straight. She told me she wasn’t a fan of matching tattoos, but she had one with Green Ranger.
She was now explaining to me that what we were doing was unfamiliar territory for her. Without going into details, she let me know that she’d only ever had one friends-with-benefits arrangement and it ended horribly. So, after we’d had sex for the first time, she kept overthinking things. Not because she was unsure of her performance in bed (she wasn’t modest about that), but because she cared about me deeply. In her experience, sex had always come before love, which wasn’t the case with us. She reminded me that almost six months ago, she’d drunkenly entertained the idea of a threesome with me, but our friendship now was much, much stronger than it was back then, so the stakes were much, much higher, too.