And just like that, she came back, congratulated us, and fussed over the ring and how lovely it would be to have a daughter-in-law again. I turned to say something to dad and the look of relief that his wife was back, if just for a few minutes, was so great that my heart broke for him. I couldn’t be mad at him. I was losing my mom. He was losing the only important thing he had in the world.
God, could I empathize.
Dad, of course, was still trying to fix it. I got my fixer attitude from somewhere. Kitten just stepped up and told my dad he needed to get her help. Now. I’m not the only one who can’t say no to her. Within a day we had a homecare worker.
That was the start of my winter of going back and forth between Toronto and Vancouver. To help out dad and spend time with her while I could. But it became apparent it was a losing battle. She needed to be in a home where she could get more support.
Dad fought the idea tooth and nail, but even he gave into the inevitable when the homecare worker said there was nothing else she could do. My last trip was getting her settled into a care home and getting someone to help with the cooking and cleaning for dad.
It’s a hard thing to lose your mom even when she’s still there physically. It’s hard to watch your father, a rock, slowly break. A year and a half ago I would have been useless. But now I had my rock, even if she was in a 5-foot tall package.
“Look, that was a tough thing to do. I’m not going to say otherwise. But I’ve known this was coming and I knew the risks of me sliding again. That’s why I’ve been talking to my therapist again and sticking with my meds. It’s why I’m talking to both of you all the time.
“Over three years ago, I thought my life was over. Now I have way too much to live for to go off the rails again. So yeah, this sucks and there are going to be some hard days for me,” I said. “But I’ve got people who love me and this time I know it. So yeah, I’m…. ok.”
I could feel Kitten making a snurfing noise next to me. Meg came around the table and hugged me. I was a wiser man than I was last time and I knew better than ever how precious moments like this were.
Finally, I gently broke the hug. Meg looked slightly embarrassed and Kitten was looking at me with bloodshot eyes, but she was smiling. That’s all I needed.
“Soooo,” she said, trying to change things up, “On the good news front, I have a week off coming up.”
“What? Why?” I asked.
“A couple of the stars have promo tours they need to do and they scheduled a break between Victoria Day weekend and Memorial Day weekend. I can come up to the house for the week so you’re not rattling around up there alone,” she said.
That was exactly what I needed. School, work, and my mom meant this had been a rough year for us so far.
“A week alone with you is just what the doctor ordered. I wouldn’t pack much clothing,” I said, trying to get Kitten to blush and a slight rise out of Meg. Instead, Meg laughed.
“Go ahead and tell him the other part,” she said, going to the fridge to grab some water.
“Kitten?”
“I…. may have mentioned to Gillian and Soo that I had a week off and I was heading back to Kingston. And they asked if they could come for a visit for the weekend because they wanted to get out of Montreal,” she said. “I kinda said yes….”
“Kitten,” I groaned, putting my head in my hands. I loved those two girls. They were great and under other circumstances, I’d love to see them, but I wanted a week alone with my fiance.
“And since you were turning your place into an AirBnB for lesbians, I figured I’d come up for the weekend. I need a break to get the stink of Toronto off of me.”
“I thought you were bi?” Kitten said.
“Eh. Who knows these days,” Meg replied.
I was about to protest when Kitten cut me off.
“Nope. First of all, we’ll still have the rest of the week and I promised to do everything your depraved mind dreams up,” she said.
“TMI,” Meg complained. Kitten ignored her.
“Second, we all need breaks and the house is a perfect little getaway.”
“And third?” I said, knowing there was a third point.
“You need to have some friends around for a few days, to relax and have some fun. Meg agrees with me on this. So please, Daddy,” she said.
It was a done deal, but I needed to salvage some dignity. I sighed and got up from the stool and went to look out the window of Meg’s condo. I used to like this condo. I used to love the one Beth and I had back in the day. Now it felt small and all I could see were other condo towers. It was bloody depressing. No wonder Meg needed a break.
“Fine,” I said in a voice that was an attempt at being magnanimous. It fooled no one. “Under one condition.”
“Which is?” Meg said, clearly amused at me trying to negotiate the terms of my surrender. As a divorce lawyer I imagine she heard it all the time.
“You are going to be taking Gillian and Soo out at least once to give Kit and I some alone time. Take them on a cider tour, take them shopping or out to dinner. I do not care. But I’m not sneaking around my own house when I want sex.”
Meg came over and shook my hand, sealing the deal.
“Like I want to hear the two of you go at it anyway,” she said. Kitten came over and tackled me, pushing me against the condo window.
“Best Daddy Ever,” she said, happy I caved so quickly.
“You say that now,” I whispered in her ear. “There’s a price to pay for inviting guests without checking with your Daddy first.”
“I’m counting on it,” she said, leaning up to kiss me.
****
Neither Kitten nor Meg loved the idea of me heading back to Kingston; I would be alone for over a week before the hordes descended on me. I compromised by spending another couple of days in Toronto to make them happy. But they were both busy with work so my time with them was limited. Even catching up with some people from the old days was weird. Several didn’t have time and the couple that I did catch up with, well, we’d all changed over the last couple of years. It was nice but odd. They mostly asked if I was sure it was a good idea to get engaged so quickly. That got old in a hurry.