“You can go home” Elisa said, the doctor’s face was grave and he was concerned.
“Please, you need to rest, I had to restitch__”
I groaned and the man stopped talking.
“It’s not the first time I’ve gotten shot and it’s not the first time I had to restitch the bullet wound. I’m going home” I stood up from the hospital bed.
I couldn’t get the security guard off my mind. I should have checked his ID. I should have seen proof that he was working with the security company. What if he was one of Josef’s goons and I granted him access into the house. What I did was chaotic.
I couldn’t get the thought off my head, I felt as if I forgot an empty pot on the burner and I needed to get home before the entire house went up in flames.
I fucked up real bad.
“You should have just stayed..”
“Shut the fuck up, I can’t hear any more words from you. Shut up”
Elisa gasped, her eyes were beginning to water.
“You’ve never spoken to me like that. What did I do wrong, was it because I tried to touch you earlier?”
I started walking away from her, if I wanted to give her a piece of my mind, it was by straggling her to death.
“It was a mistake…” She said softly.
“What part?” I asked her.
He mouth remained open.
“You think I don’t know your deal with the Russian mob, to sell your daughter so they would clear the debts. Why do you think I intervene?”
“You intervened because you are care about me” she said.
“No kidding.. I didn’t go for you or Marcellino, I went for Jenna ” I was telling her in her face, I am in love with her daughter.
But she couldn’t see the possibility, she was too stupid. Even when the confession was in my voice.
“You’ve always been fond of Jenna and I have too. I just made a mistake ”
“Have you apologize to her yet?”
“I don’t see a need to” she blatantly said.
“She’s your only child and she loves you but in return you violate her and you can’t apologise. You’re a disgrace to motherhood”
She remained in the spot.
We were outside in the parking lot, the sun was already setting and I was eager to hold Jenna in my arms, to make sure she’s safe.
“Elisa get in the car, let’s go”
“You’re right Christian, I’m a disgrace to motherhood hood but I will remain unapologetically so. I didn’t want to have a child. When I found out I was pregnant for Jenna, I went to the hospital for the procedure to get her out__”
My blood froze in my veins.
“When I got there, I got the papers and booked a session with a doctor, it was supposed to happen a few days later… When I came back the doctor cancelled, he was busy with something else. I was so angry and I looked for other ways, pills upon pills but nothing worked so I gave up and decided to keep her to make my husband happy… I didn’t want to have a kid, she forced herself into this world and this many sound strange but she’s not my responsibility.
I got into the car.
“I hope you safely find your way home” what I wanted to tell was that I hope she gets hit by car, I hope some highway robbers do her dirty and I didn’t hide the bitterness from my voice.
Her face was etched in disbelief and I drove off and left her there.
****
The sky was getting dark, Josef was wearing black all throughout, and I was wearing a baby blue tank top and off white colored shorts.
He would sight me from a mile away if I decided to run and I wouldn’t see him even if he were to be standing ten feets away from me, he would be hidden in plain sight.
“You know, you’re smarter than I guessed. Beauty with brains, huh?”
He was trying to by time, he wanted the sky to get really dark so hew would play the game of torture your prey.
“Turn around” I ordered him.
“Are you going to shoot me in the back?” He asked me with a hearty laugh.
“Turn around!”
He nodded and slowly he started moving, he was too slow, too reluctant.
I pulled the trigger, not aiming at him but at something else.
It made a loud sound that scared the shit out of me, it took strength that I didn’t know I had, not to whimper.
Her jerked and he got the message.
“Okay, you have the reason to kill me, but will you really do it?” His voice was taunting, he was trying to scare me.
I laughed but I didn’t dare take my eyes off him.
“Drop your weapon, Josef ”
“I can kill you now, if I want to”
“Drop your weapon ” I said.
I stood up and walked towards him but I made sure to keep a safe distance.
“Drop it”
He heard my voice was closer.
He dropped his gun and he muttered something along the lines of how he would play with me when he gets me.
I wanted to pull the trigger, he was right there but I couldn’t. I couldn’t kill him.
He understood this and he started laughing. He turned around and advanced towards me, slowly and cautiously. Every second was ticking by and I wanted to add more force to the trigger but all the implications came to me and made me freeze.
I would never forget this moment, whether it was to protect myself or not, I would never forgive myself. His face would haunt me, his blood would be on my hands and it would destroy me. I would hate myself.
He took the gun from my trembling hands. He was with his own gun, I didn’t even see him lift it from the door and the last thing I saw him lifting the gun in the air and boom, it hit the side of my head.
I went out loud.
I saw my father, sitting in the breakfast table. A cup or orange juice in his hand, it was almost empty. He turned to me as if he was expecting to see me.
“My darling Angel” he said lovingly, his voice was soft and comforting. It was the voice that soothed me for years and I didn’t run away from it, instead I went to him and rested my head on his shoulder.
“Come home” he whispered.